“Yeah, fuck your family, right? I just held your mother’s hand and watched her check out, but that doesn’t matter.” Dad’s eyes redden as he stares at me like we’re strangers. “The whole time I watched her disappear inside herself, I told myself I can get past this with you, because you are what matters most in the fucking world to us both. But if you keep looking at me with zero remorse, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”
Every word strikes like a blow to the chest as reality sets in deep. No matter how much Natalie warned me of the blowback this would cause, she was all I could see. My willpower wavers slightly as I gaze at my father, who looks like he’s aging by the second.
“I fucking love her,” I rasp out, “with all that I am. She’s everything to me. You want me to give that up?”
“Love isn’t selfish,” he says evenly. “If there’s one thing I learned from waiting on your mother, it’s that.”
I heard those same words in my vows two nights ago as he speaks up again, his tone a mix of anger and hurt.
“You need to give this thing some space, step back, and let the dust settle. If you don’t, you’ll implode it from the inside out.”
“You don’t know anything about us.”
“Whose fault is that? And maybe not,” he exhales a plume of smoke, “but I’ve observed enough to know that woman in there, who’s wearing your ring, who just took our last name, loves and respects her father. And she is crumbling fast because she’s being put in a situation to choose between Crowne and Butler. Sound fucking familiar?” He crushes his cigarette beneath his boot. “She wants to keep him in her life, and that’s not going to change, Easton. That’s never going to change. You may no longer give a fuck about your mother and me—”
“You know that’s not true—”
In a flash, I’m nailed to the door, exasperation in his eyes as he searches mine. “Then act like it! Where in the hell is the son I raised?! Because from where I’m standing, I see no signs of him!”
“That son is trying to be a husband!” I defend before he releases me and steps back as a long silence lingers between us.
“How could you…” his voice breaks as he lifts tormented eyes to mine.
Chest tightening unbearably, I run my hands through my hair, feeling more helpless than I ever have in my entire life. He’s never shown so much emotion in front of me, and the knowledge that I’m the cause of his devastation starts to undo me. “Dad, is Mom,” I rasp out. “is she—”
“She’s home, but still heavily sedated. Lexi is with her.” He chokes before he speaks. “I’m hanging by a thread right now, Easton.” An unchecked tear drops to his jaw, and I die a little at the sight of it. “I need you to come home. She’s not talking.”
“All right, Dad,” I say, gripping his shoulder, knowing it’s pointless to tell him I’d planned on coming clean the second I got to Seattle. The state of him is enough to pacify me. I’m all too aware this fight between us is far from over. Once his hurt subsides, his anger will come back with a vengeance. That’s how we’re made because aside from me, when it comes to Reid Crowne, there’s only one other thing in his life you can’t fuck with, and that’s his wife. To him, I committed the only thing he considers a cardinal sin.
“Let’s go,” I force the words out though they pain me, even if it was our original plan. “Let’s go home.”
“I’ll be on the plane.” He nods toward Joel, silent communication passing between them before stalking down the stone-covered path toward the parking lot.
Joel steps toward me. “Easton, I tried, man—”
“It’s…fuck it,” my shoulders slump, “we’ll talk later.”
Joel nods, appearing condemned, my emotions running far too rampant to do anything other than shift my focus.
Today, I made my father cry, and it’s going to be hard to live past that.
Taking a breath, I knock on the door before entering. Natalie meets me on the other side of it, fully dressed, expression bleak, face thoroughly tear-streaked. I stride into the room to see her purse sitting atop her packed suitcase. The sight of it cracks my chest. Nate stands stock still against a floor-to-ceiling window, scanning our view, hands stuffed in his slacks. Natalie blocks my view of him and reaches for my face, the metal of her wedding ring against my jaw has emotion lodging in my throat as her eyes fill. “I have to go home now, Easton, and so do you.”
I nod my head into her palms as the crack in my chest widens.
Natalie turns back to Nate. “Daddy, can you please give us a minute?”
Nate drags a hand down his face as if contemplating giving us that much, and it’s all I can do to keep silent before he turns abruptly and I step in his path. He pauses, his body averted along with his gaze as if it’s too fucking much to look at me.
“I’m truly sorry for what you’re feeling right now, but I do love her, Nate, and I have no intention of letting her go. Can we not do this? For her?” Burning blue eyes the exact color of my wife’s meet mine. I recognize so much of Natalie in this man. It’s uncanny. Do the parts of my mother that loved Nate Butler exist in me, as well?
I conclude they do, and every other part along with them. It strikes me hard in that moment—even with as many times as Natalie’s pointed it out—my mother was going to marry this man. She was going to build a life with him, and maybe he loved her just as fiercely then as I do his daughter now. From my father’s confession, my mother still harbors love for him and always will. I try to reason with that man even though he’s almost impossible to see. “Please don’t make her choose—”
“You have no right to ask me for anything,” Nate clips out. With a slight tilt of his head, I see the resolution in his eyes along with his declaration of war. A war he has no fucking intention of losing. We hold eyes a beat longer before he brushes past me.
Biting my tongue, I fist my hands at my sides as Nate slams the door closed with his exit. Nothing I can say to him will make a difference. He wants me gone, and he’s hell-bent on making it happen.
I feel the first pang of genuine fear as Natalie stares back at me, looking utterly lost.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I murmur.
“I’m okay,” she sniffles. “I mean, I’ll be okay. I knew this was going to be bad.”
“Not this fucking bad,” I murmur, gathering her to me tightly before she pulls away with her question.
“Is Stella—”
“She’s home with Lexi. I’m going straight to her.”
She nods.
“Dad got in last night. I’m willing to bet he and Joel had it out in a way they never have before to keep him at bay. They’re overreacting.”
“Are they?” She croaks. “Jesus, Easton,” she glances toward the closed front door, “I’ve never seen him like this. Ever.”
“He’s never going to accept us,” I relay, knowing it’s the truth of it.
“He’s my first love and sadly the only man you’ll ever have to compete with for my affection…and it may not seem like it right now, but he’s a good and typically more reasonable man. He’s just unimaginably hurt.” She shakes her head. “It’s not just who you are. It’s the culmination of everything. The extent of my deception. I did this in an unforgivable way.”
“We did this. Which he will also hold against me.”
Are you going to choose him?
Irony of the worst kind strikes me as I realize Dad’s right. History is repeating itself to an extent. Her love and loyalty for Nate is our biggest threat. It’s been our only real issue from the start. What’s worse is that I can’t ask or force her to choose.
“I’ll get through to him,” she declares, despite a shaky conviction.
But will she feel the same conviction she did two days ago when the dust settles? In a week, a month from now?
Even as my heart demands an answer, I have to believe the ring on my finger is all the assurance I need. I keep the question brimming beneath the surface because if I do ask it right now, it may sharpen the point of a wedge capable of separating us.
“Let me go home. Let me try and figure out a way to get through to him.”
I shake my head, unable to let it go yet. “He’s not going to let you find one—”
“I love you,” she burrows further into me. “I love you. I belong to you. I meant every word I said.”
“Then remain my wife,” I plea, unable to help myself. “Keep your promises, your vows to me.”