“Take him,” she said, practically thrusting the boy into his arms.
But Asher was already poised to do just that. “It’s okay, bud,” he murmured into Hawk’s ear. His face was warm. “Is he sick?” He pressed his cheek against his son’s forehead.
“No,” Jordan said, stepping into the house. “He’s just…He won’t stop crying.”
Asher forced himself to calm down. Hawk’s face was warm, but he didn’t feel like he was burning up with a fever or anything. He tilted his head at Jordan. “Tell me what’s going on. Right now.”
“I just wanted to prove I could do it.” She twisted her fingers, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. Her brown hair was lank and she had black shit under her eyes from her makeup. Her clothes were stained, and a glance down showed her flip-flops were two different colors.
“Prove you could do what?” His hand went to his son’s back; he was still whimpering but no longer at a full-blown wail.
“Be a mom.” Her voice wobbled. Her eyes went to the band, who were filing out of the studio one by one. “Hey, guys,” she said.
Hey, guys.
Asher closed his eyes and prayed for strength, then opened them to find Shiff looking disgruntled, Fonz with his hands in his pockets, and Ricky lifting Tank to quiet him.
“How’d you do that?” Jordan asked, her sincerest expression on Asher.
“Do what?”
“Calm him down,” she said, and Asher realized that Hawk was no longer crying. “I’ve been trying to get him to stop crying since we went to Grove Falls.”
Asher felt his shoulders go stiff. Grove Falls was a theme park, like a mini Disney World, in Michigan. “You took him to Grove Falls?”
“Yeah. I wanted him to see he could have fun with me, too. Not just you.”
Christ. This was about him?
Jordan grunted and folded her arms over her chest. “It totally backfired. He didn’t appreciate it at all.”
“He’s three, Jordan,” Asher said, hearing the edge in his voice. Hawk whined, uttered a string of incoherent words. “It’s okay, kiddo,” he told his son.
“Daddy,” Hawk wrapped his little arms around Asher’s neck.
Daddy. Asher nearly lost strength in his knees that his son was holding on to him. “Here for you, man.”
“There a reason you didn’t answer our calls and texts?” he asked, losing the calm he’d kept at hand throughout the day. Jordan had taken Hawk to a goddamn theme park a hundred miles away without telling anyone.
She shrugged.
Fucking typical. Hawk kicked his legs and murmured a few more random words, “doggie” and “down” among them. His boy. He loved this kid more than life.
“I’m done,” Jordan said, her voice nearly a whisper.
“Done with what?” Fury ran through Asher’s bloodstream like lava. He was pretty sure he knew what she was “done” with, and if he was right, he was about to go nuclear.
“Just…It’s hard.” She gestured at him, including Hawk in the sweep of her arm.
On the inside he was screaming, Fuck yeah, it’s hard! Kids are hard! But with his son calm and warm in his arms, he said nothing and hoped Hawk couldn’t feel his body literally vibrating from pent-up anger.
“He can’t even stand me for one day by myself.” Jordan wrinkled her nose. “He’s been awful.”
Asher closed a palm over Hawk’s ear at the same time Fonz approached, arms outstretched. God bless him. His friend knew exactly what was needed here.
“Hey, Hawk, wanna play trains?” Fonz smiled and Hawk answered with a cautious smile of his own.
“That sounds fun,” Asher said, pulling a hand over Hawk’s hair. “Go with Fonz and see the trains, okay?”
Tank barked, and Ricky put him on the ground.
“Doggie!”
Tank. Also saving the day.
Asher nodded his thanks to Fonz, then set his son on his feet. Hawk tore off in the direction of the bedroom, giggling as Tank chased after him, barking at his heels. Fonz followed.
Once the three of them had disappeared down the hall, Asher faced Jordan again.
“Deck,” he told her, pointing to the back door. Because he needed to say things to her away from everyone.
“Brother, maybe you ought to—” Ricky started.
“No, man,” Shiff interrupted, placing a hand on Broderick’s arm to stop him.
Asher and Ricky shared a long, hard glare. Ricky said no more.
Wise man.
Ash opened the back door and pointed out of it and Jordan stomped through it like a disgruntled teenager. She walked down to the dock before she stopped, facing the water.
Asher followed, slowing his roll on the way. When he reached her, she turned around and burst out with, “Mom is better with him. She’s better at raising him than I am!”