“But…”
“No buts. He thought you were dead. He thought he killed you, and who knows what shit Matthew and Colin fed to him later. It sucks he slept with someone else, but it’s not like he did it with the intent of being unfaithful to you.”
“When did you become such a Skull supporter?” I ask her, annoyed.
“It’s not that I’m a big Skull supporter. I still want to kick him in the balls, but I know you love him.”
“I don’t…”
“Bethie, you’ve always loved him. You’ve grieved him nonstop ever since our fuck-face of a father blackmailed you into leaving.”
“It’s just because he was my first…”
“Really? So you would be okay with opening your legs for someone else, now?”
“What is it you used to tell me? Sex is sex.”
“I was a stupid fool. You were the one who was right.”
“Get real.”
“I’m serious. I don’t regret my past, but I will tell you there’s not a man I remember since the very moment I laid eyes on Torch. He’s it. When you find the one you’re meant to be with, you know it.”
“You’re just all drugged up. You’re talking out of your head,” I joke, praying I’m right.
“Laugh. It doesn’t change things. Sometimes I hate myself because I’m the reason you had to give him up,” she says and my stomach tightens in reaction. I reach out and hold her hand in mine.
“Neither one of us can change what went on, Katie. It’s not your fault. It’s theirs. Besides, there’s so much we didn’t know. I mean, hell, we didn’t even know our real mother.”
“If there are things the Donahues are good at, it is definitely secrets. The thing is, Bethie, you have a second chance. You need to decide what you want to do with it.”
I sigh. “I’m just not sure I can let myself go with him now, Katie. I just… it’s all different.”
“Then you have to be prepared to let him go.”
“I know…”
“And you need to be sure that’s what you want, because you can be sure Dr. Torres or some other skank will be waiting in the wings.” She squeezes my hand. I don’t say anything else. She’s right. I just don’t know what to do. “But if you do take him back, for God’s sake, don’t make it easy for him.”
“I thought you were a Skull supporter now?”
“I’m a Bethie supporter, and I think Skull might be the only man to make you happy. It still doesn’t change the fact he was a horse’s ass. Make him work for it,” she adds with a wink.
I try to smile in response. I just wish I knew what I was going to do.
“Wanna go for a ride on my bike?” I ask the woman who has been haunting my thoughts for the last week. This dating thing is not made for a weak man. It’s been fucking hard not to just push her up against the wall and fuck her until she agrees to everything I want. I know Annie is watching Gabby today since Sabre was trying to distract her from Latch signing back up on duty and heading out. I’m glad he’s going. That’s one less man to suspect at this point. Shit, I’m even worrying about Sabre watching Gabby, but I know Beast, Torch, and Sabre should be the three men I can count on… but fuck, I thought they all were. Regardless, I know Annie would die before anything happens to Gabby. I have to go with that right now. It’s all I have.
Beth looks up from where she is talking with Katie. Her eyes go wide for a minute, and then I get that tentative smile she’s been giving me lately, one that says she’s happy… but cautious. I’m okay with it. Fuck, I’m feeling the exact same way.
“Aww, look! Skull’s asking a girl on a date. Where’s the candy and flowers?” Katie grins.
“Quit being a pain in my ass, pipsqueak,” I grumble. I’d never admit it, but I kind of like her. I don’t get that her and Beth are twins. I guess if Katie’s hair was blonde, they would look alike, but where it counts, they are as different as night and day.
“I need to change,” Beth says. She’s wearing jeans and a long sleeve sweater. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail. She’s beautiful, but I still mourn the dresses and the way she used to let her hair free so the wind could slide through it.
“Unless you’re going to put on one of those dresses you used to wear all the time, mi cielo, you look beautiful.”
Her eyes go soft with my term of endearment. I can’t stop myself from using them; I gave up trying.
“Well, you can’t wear a dress on a bike.”
“I seem to remember a time when you did.”
“You didn’t really give me much of a choice, if I remember correctly.”
“Come ride with me, mi cielo.”
I watch the muscles in her throat work as she swallows nervously, then she puts her hand in mine and I pull her up from her seat. Our hands clasped, her fingers wrapped around mine, feels like perfection. We’re walking towards my bike without talking when Katie hollers out, making me stop and turn to face her.