Beast looks down at my outstretched hand and I hate that it’s shaking.
“Beth, maybe you…” he starts, his voice dark.
He’s not looking at me though. He’s looking over my head at Skull. Skull’s face is unreadable—which is probably a good thing.
“Give me your gun,” I repeat.
Skull must have okayed it, because Beast tears his eyes away from him and he carefully hands me the gun. He looks at me with understanding and something I completely loathe: pity.
I turn my attention to Matthew. The bastard isn’t pleading for his life. If anything, he looks satisfied. I spit on him.
“I’ll see you in hell, brother dear.”
“You could let me live long enough to see Skull’s face when he discovers all your new secrets. I mean really, I think…”
I shoot him before he can taunt me further. I aim between his eyes and it hits dead center. I’m standing so close, blood splatters against my skin. It’s okay, I already feel dirty. After my time in France, I may never feel clean again.
I wipe the spray of blood I felt that hit my face with the back of my hand. In this case, it doesn’t bother me to see the smearing red against my skin. I feel no need whatsoever to get sick. I hand the gun back to Beast.
“Can one of your men take me to see my sister now?” I ask Skull.
“You played into his hands,” Skull says. “You gave him an easy death.”
“I know I did. I also know that he needed to die. He’s not breathing my air anymore. He can’t touch my daughter. I’m okay with it.”
“Briar do we have the keys to Donahue’s vehicles?” Skull asks.
“Got keys to an SUV and one to that fancy Mercedes thing he was so proud of,” Briar answers.
“Give me the keys to his. I’ll set it on fire for fun later,” Skull says, catching the keys when Briar tosses them. “Come on, querida,” he says, turning his attention back to me. “I’ll take you to your sister.”
“Your girlfriend won’t mind?” I ask, hoping I can annoy him enough that he’ll send me with someone else.
“You’ve been through enough today, Beth. Don’t make me paddle your ass too,” he says. I don’t respond. I’m too busy trying to keep myself from shaking, as reality starts setting in.
There are things that change you forever. The girl you knew had to grow up fast.
I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed and I just can’t get Beth and those words out of my head. It’s true, too. There are traces of my Beth—the old Beth.
I sit up, knowing I’m too tense to rest. So much of today was a revelation. Least of all, there is this new side of Beth that seems to be emerging, completely different at times from the girl I knew. The thing is, I think I want this version more than the old one, and that’s bad. She’s still the woman who cut my heart out. The same woman who went head first into a decision that left me twisting in the wind in pieces. I can’t allow myself to forget that.
I’m getting a damn headache. I rub the tension out of my forehead, willing the pain that’s setting in to leave. It doesn’t help, but then I didn’t really expect it to.
The biggest thing from today was the discovery that Beth is definitely hiding something from me. Scars? Maybe worse, knowing the twisted fucks she’s dealt with. I should have taken my time with her body, gotten to know it all over again. I didn’t because I was in too much of a damn hurry, and fuck, she was even better than I remembered. Just thinking about it makes my dick hard, and that’s bad because I know there’s no way in hell that Beth is going to let me back in there without a fight. I shouldn’t even want back in—but I do. Even with the shit that went down, even having to deal with Donahue at all… today was the first day that I felt truly alive. I was ready to give up, push it all away and say fuck it. Now… I’m not so sure.
Jesus. I should have known she would have the power to tie me in fucking knots again.
I might have been able to keep away from her the night before, but that’s not happening today. I get up with a sigh, going back to her room like some sick-fuck lunatic stalker. It’s playing with fire. Eventually, Beth will catch me. What will I say then? “Oh, sorry, I was just standing here over your bed with a hard-on thinking about the weather?”