“No, but Hunter likes a little cushion for the pushing, so I’m keeping it,” she whispers and grins. “Besides, I got a feeling I’m going to be glad for the extra padding tonight if he finds out about this.”
“Let’s hope they don’t. I love everything about Briar, but when he’s mad, I feel it for weeks.”
I don’t respond. There’s not much I can add to this conversation and it’s probably best we don’t talk like a bunch of nervous idiots. I crack the door open and, when I see nothing, open it a little wider. I look at the girls and all signs of the joking we shared a little bit ago are gone.
It’s show time.
I want to ask if they’re sure they want to do this, but it’s too late for that. Louise is out there and, everything else aside, we cannot leave her here with these men. It’s too late to turn back.
Please, God, let us pull this off.
“I don’t want you here,” I tell Torch like a damn kid. I sound childish even to my own ears, but I’m tired of him asking why I’m so fucking quiet.
“Why the hell not?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand that you’re pushing your club away when you need us the most.”
“The thing I need the most is to be left the fuck alone. Estúpido,” I grumble under my breath but loud enough so he can hear me. We’re in the truck driving in Tennessee. My nerves are shot. I feel this sense of fucking doom, and I feel like I’m just driving around waiting for a damned shoe to drop on my head.
“That’s the last thing you need. You need to get out of your head. You’ve been holding yourself apart from us for far too fucking long. Shit, most of us didn’t even know you were sticking your dick in the doctor.”
“It’s not your business to know where I stick my polla.”
“Maybe not, but if I had known, I would have told you to steer away from the damn piranha.”
My hands clench the armrest at his words. “What do you have against her?” I’m already wishing she wasn’t around for Beth to see. The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit.
“Can’t put my finger on it, but she’s just… calculating. She set her sights on you from the beginning. We all saw it,” Torch says while driving, looking over at me briefly as he talks.
“I chased her,” I argue, hating myself for it now, but admitting it.
“Bullshit in July, you did. She spotted you at Dragon’s funeral. All the boys talked about how she made sure to sit in your line of sight and kept smiling at you, so shy-like. At first we thought it was cute, but the more you get to know the good doctor, she doesn’t seem shy at all, does she?”
“You and the men are fucking busybodies. If you honestly thought she was making a play, why didn’t you say something before now?”
“Like I said, until she started coming to the club every couple of days, we didn’t know you were fucking her, so it didn’t matter.”
Ironically, I haven’t been fucking her since she started coming to the club. She’s only been around to help keep Pistol alive. I’m not confessing that, though. I don’t know if it’s worse they think I got taken for a ride or if they know that I haven’t touched a woman in over a year, not since the moment I knew Beth was alive. I haven’t even had an interest in any woman. Fuck, the only time my dick seems to react is with Beth. The most action I’ve had in a year came last night when I was whacking off to a memory of the fucking kiss I shared with her.
I turn the radio up to drown him out, but just a little since Gabby is sleeping in the back. I turn to watch her. Mi hija. Her dark hair and skin look so much like me, but she has a softness about her that is all her mother. And those eyes… I once vowed as a child to have a woman with blue eyes. I was stupid. It’s gray. The color of the blue sky and white clouds as they roll above—dusky gray. That’s the color that claims your soul. Now, I have two women in my life with those eyes. Can I manage to keep them both?
The rest of the trip is silent as we make it down to Diesel’s. We’ve pulled in and I’m unlatching Gabby’s car seat from the back when Diesel and Crusher come running out.
“Why the fuck haven’t you answered your phones?”
“It didn’t ring,” Torch says, looking at his cell.
“What’s up?” I ask, knowing that look on Diesel’s face.
“Your girls have flown the coop. Latch and Sabre couldn’t find them at that spa. He’s been tearing the place apart and been trying to call you for the last hour.”
“What the fuck do you mean they can’t find them?” Torch growls, dialing his phone.
I know why I didn’t hear my phone. I didn’t even bring the son of a bitch. I didn’t want to hear from the motherfuckers for a while. I knew I’d be here, and if anything was urgent they’d know where to find me. Foolishly, I knew I’d have Gabby and Beast would watch Beth… I was a fucking stupid tonto.