My eyes well with new tears, his words holding so much meaning and truth behind them.
“What seems like chaos to the little girl is normal to the wolf.”
He wipes my tears away this time, his eyes fixated on them. It’s almost like he likes it when I cry.
“I love you, too,” he whispers, his lips brushing against mine, his tongue tasting my tears.
“What?” His words catch me off-guard.
“You heard me.” He nips at my bottom lip. “I may not be that guy every girl hopes to fall in love with. I’m rough, dark, and violent. But I fucking love you, and that’s all that matters.” He grips my face, making me look into his eyes. “I don’t do anything soft, and I sure as hell won’t love you softly. I’ll love you hard, and unforgiving.”
Nodding, I swallow hard. He says he doesn’t love softly, but my whole body just melted for him. I wish he and I could run away, and just be us.
“I wish we never came back from our date. I just want to get lost in the desert, with Hershey Kisses.” I close my eyes, the alcohol making me say shit that makes no sense.
“I have one left.” He unwraps it and skims it across my bottom lip, hands that were covered in blood moments before now clean.
Parting my lips, I take the chocolate in. Before I can close my mouth around it, Zeek slams his against mine hard. As if he’s hungry, the violence of the night turning him on, my tears making him unstable.
I close my eyes and take it all in. The smell of him. The feel of his hands in my hair. The taste of chocolate and him filling my mouth. This, this is my escape from my racing thoughts. This is my remedy to my chaotic life. This… is why love is blind.
“Now, let’s go fuck,” he whispers into my mouth.
My eyes pop open, and I stare at him like he’s lost his mind.
“Killing a guy and fucking my girl in a bed. I can’t think of a better way to end a date.”
EIGHTEEN
JILLIAN
“I gotta go to the club. Stay home today.” Still half-asleep, I yawn and nod before drifting back to sleep once again.
***
Waking up this morning, Zeek was gone. My neck itches and is irritating me. The smell of bleach is still lingering, but not nearly as strong. Kicking the blankets off me, I head into the kitchen, looking at where it all happened. You can’t even tell there was a body in here. That a pool of blood was congealing right next to my fridge. Images of blood-stained hands and Zeek fucking me wobble into my vision.
I clench my eyes shut, willing it all to go away.
I need to work.
I need to get out of here.
I get dressed and head in.
Walking into the department, I find my father’s office.
I begin to sweat, scared he can see the unlawful things I’ve been a part of over the last few days.
“Deputy Adams, what are you doing in?”
“I need to work. I can’t stay at home, sir,” I respond formally. I’m not telling him exactly why, though.
“No, I said to take the week off. I meant it.”
“I’m better. I need to be back at what I do best.”
He lifts his head, his shoulders rising with a large breath.
“I get it, the restlessness. I’ll tell you what. You can work, but I’m going with you today. I want to make sure you’re fully capable of fulfilling your duties. If I see otherwise, we will return back here, and you will take the week off. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.” I want to roll my eyes, but don’t. It’s better than nothing.
“Good. I’m driving.”
***
As the day goes by, we get an attempted suicide call, a break-in, and a domestic dispute. I got to use my Taser at the domestic dispute, so that was the highlight of my day. Some cracked-out man was getting rough with his wife, and when we interfered he attacked a fellow officer. I reacted accordingly.
“You ready for some dinner?” Lieutenant Oaks asks.
“Yeah, I could eat.”
My phone chimes, catching my attention as we get out of the car at a Chipotle.
You good? - Z
I ignore his text, because I know he doesn’t want me at work. Not because he’s being a controlling asshole, because he is, but because he’s worried about me.
“All right, old man. If we eat here, you lay off the hot sauce.” I muster a smile.
When Lieutenant Oaks doesn’t respond, I look over at him, finding him frowning at his phone.
“Dad?” His head snaps my way.
“Yeah, sounds good. Let’s eat.”
I tilt my head to the side, concerned. He seems off.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He masks a smile, but I can tell it’s fake. “After this, let’s head back to the department.”
“Why?” I’ve done awesome today; there’s no reason I can’t work.
“Because I said so!” he yells, and I blanch in response. What the hell? “Look, I just need to get some paperwork done. After this, we’ll head back.”
“Fine,” I respond tight-lipped. This is bullshit.
“What happened to your neck?” he asks casually.
Touching the cut, my cheeks redden.
“Jinx scratched me.”
ZEEK