The strange press against his chest he felt just thinking about her returned. Which is why he didn’t. He holstered the Glock at his thigh. “Lauren got caught up in circumstances I never should have involved her in. Throw in isolation and sex and suddenly it all seems rosy, but it’s not. You heard her. She owes me.”
“And what’s wrong with that? It’s not a lie. You saved her, but did you even give her a chance to tell you how she felt about you outside of that?”
“There is no outside of that. The two go hand in hand.”
“She’s not Beth.”
“I never said she was.”
“But you thought it, over and over again to the point where you can’t see Lauren.”
“Can’t see Lauren.” He stormed up to Thane. “Every fucking day I see her. I’m out here busting my ass, and I have to fight not to think about her. I look at you and Celine, and all I can think about is all four of us at the cabin.” Shame washed over him. “I hate it, but a part of me wishes we would have never been on that road with Jenny. That someone else would have saved her so I could have had more time to convince Lauren to—” His vision blurred. He couldn’t say it. It was wrong. He couldn’t force her to love him.
“You wouldn’t have had to convince her.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, it’s not bullshit.” Thane grabbed his shoulder. “Before you lost your shit that night, Lauren had just told Celine about how she was willing to make the long haul. She was going to tell you that she’d wait for you to come back to her.”
A sick feeling washed over him. The way he’d gone after her. The way she’d looked at him. He shouldn’t have lost it that night, but all he could think about was what Dalir had told him about Kell. When he’d found her in the maze, he hadn’t seen that she was safe. He’d remembered how he’d left her alone in the chapel that day. He hadn’t protected her. If he failed again and lost her…. But he didn’t need Kell or any other threat to make that a reality. He’d done it all by himself. “She’s gone because I screwed up.”
“Yeah, but lucky for your sorry ass, Dalir can restore memories.”
Hope flickered, but Reid was afraid to latch onto it. “Including the ones of me being an asshole. That’ll make her come rushing back to me.”
“If you promise not to screw up again, I’m sure I can convince Celine to help you out.” Thane grinned. “After she dumps more coffee on your lap for being stupid.”
If it gave him another shot, he’d suck it up and take the pain. First, he had to convince Lauren to listen.
Chapter 20
“Sorry I can’t hang out with you this weekend.” Lauren shut the door to her Mercedes, juggling the cell with Ari on speaker and her purse. “But Jan says this guy is willing to pay full asking price for the cabin. Meeting me was his only stipulation.”
“No worries. I doubt I’ll be doing much. Last night I went to The Song to hear this new band called One Way.” Ari snorted a laugh. “They should call themselves One Way to Snoozeville. I don’t know what’s going on with that place. Something is off.”
“Are you sure it’s not you missing our girls’ nights with Celine?”
“Yeah, that could be part of it. She sent me an email the other day. She’s in Bali or was it Tibet? Anyway, she’s still on her adventure of looking for exotic things to sell at the store.”
Celine leaving Diva Unique behind still blew their minds. That place was her baby. But then again, she had nothing to worry about with Ari taking charge in her absence.
Lauren opened the door to the cabin. An odd mix of emotions swept over her, mainly sadness. “I’ll probably spend the night and head back in the morning. I’ll phone you before I leave.”
“You sound funny. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “It’s just a little dusty in here.”
Thankfully, Ari hung up and didn’t call her out. Her emotions remained in turmoil.
Three weeks ago, she’d awakened on the couch at the cabin feeling as if her heart had been crushed. She couldn’t figure out why. As she’d sorted through her father’s things, for some reason she’d thought of the fall watercolor he’d painted. She searched everywhere, but couldn’t find it. Something inside of her had snapped. She’d started bawling and couldn’t stop.