The girl’s breath caught.
“Do what you have to do,” Benny said, standing up and walking toward his door. “You’re a smart kid, Nate DeLuca.” He punctuated my name, saying it with purpose, using it to fuel the fire—to fuel the need to make sure she didn’t get out alive.
I swallowed my nerves—my anger.
No matter what, I was fucked.
He opened his office door and added, “I don’t understand why she’s still breathing… why the fuck you haven’t done it already. Do you need me to send one of my men with you?”
“No,” I said quickly. So quickly his eyebrows rose in surprise. I added, “I’ll take care of it.”
He nodded.
I stood up. Tiny followed, helping the girl to her feet.
Benny cleared his throat. “I trust you’ll take care of Pauly’s body too?”
It was my turn to nod.
“Good. If anything comes back to us, it’s on you, Nate.”
“Yes, Don.”
*
I drove Tiny’s car while he followed behind me in the van. I gave him instructions on what to do when we got to the cliff on the outskirts of the city. The place I drove to was secluded. There was nothing around—nothing but the river two hundred feet below the cliff’s edge.
I heard the van park next to me, but I kept my head down, focused on attaching the silencer to the pistol. My heart rattled in my chest while my hands shook, making it almost impossible. The van door closed and a moment later, Tiny was tapping on my window. My brow bunched as I lay the gun on my lap and wound it down.
“You sure about this, Boss Man?”
I jerked my head once and wound the window back up. My head tilted to the side—assessing the weapon. One bullet. That’s all I’d need.
I heard the door of the van slide open and Tiny speaking quietly—too quiet for me to make out the words. I listened for a response, but nothing came, only the sounds of their footsteps becoming louder and louder.
Shadows cast over me as Tiny and the girl walked past and approached the cliff edge.
I knew it was time, but I wasn’t ready.
I’d never be ready.
I should’ve taken Uncle Benny up on his offer, had one of his men do it. But it didn’t feel right. Because, clearly, there was a right way to end someone’s life. I shook my head and dropped the visor, looking at myself in the mirror.
My eyes were red. My forehead damp. My jaw pressed tight.
I fought hard to inhale.
Struggled to exhale.
I blinked hard and pushed down the knot in my stomach.
Then, gasping for air, I pushed open my door and stepped out.
One step at a time.
One foot in front of the other.
Toward the girl on her knees, her blindfold still on.
I realized it then; she hadn’t made a sound.
Why wasn’t she screaming or pleading for her life?
I slowed my steps as I approached her, doing everything I could to delay the inevitable. The gun swayed in my hands, my fingers unable to control their trembles.
I stopped a foot in front of her. She must have heard me coming, sensed me somehow. Her head lowered, almost as if she was welcoming me. My throat closed up as I lifted the gun. She sniffed once. Then raised her chin and pushed forward until the end of the barrel made contact with her forehead.
It was stupid, but it was the only thing I could think to say. “Are you ready?”
She nodded half-heartedly against the cold steel.
I clicked the safety on the gun.
Tiny stepped closer.
Silence surrounded me, all but the mixed sounds of our heavy breaths.
“Please,” she whispered, and I didn’t know if it was for me to stop, or for me to just do it already.
My free hand curled at my side, trying to grasp on to the courage I needed. Needed, I told myself. I needed to do this.
Suddenly, her shoulders squared.
She held her breath.
I pressed the gun firmer to her head.
And then, somehow, she found her strength, but she didn’t use it to fight me. Instead, she started to sing. “You are my sunshine,” she sang.
My hand loosened its grip as her voice filled my ears.
“My only sunshine…”
What the fuck was happening!?
“You make me happy…”
Her voice became so strained I could hardly make out the words. “When skies are gray…”
An image filled my mind, one I’d suppressed so many years ago.
“You’ll never know, dear…”
I closed my eyes—the thumping of my heart causing the armor to fall away.
“How much I love you…”
I stepped back and dropped my hand to my side, barely gripping the pistol.
“Boss?” Tiny said, stepping up to me.
“Put her in the car. Take care of the evidence,” I ordered, turning my back and walking away.
*
I ignored her heavy breaths from the back seat as I watched Tiny set the van ablaze, Pauly’s body inside it. After a moment, he opened the driver’s door and started the engine. A second later, the wheels turned, and the van moved forward. Tiny stood with his hands in his pockets as we watched the van plummet over the edge.