Her face crumpled, and she buried her face against him to hide her weak tears. “You don’t have to. She-Devil killed him.”
There was a beat of stunned silence, and then Jax soothed her with a, “Shhhhh. Beautiful, brawling, courageous, badass Second of the Red Havoc Crew, it wasn’t murder. It was justice. She-Devil followed the rules of our people. She did good.”
“She was born of violence, and her first act was awful, Jax. And now I can feel the good parts of me shrinking to nothing. I know what’s coming. I see what she does at night, and in the daytime, too. I’m there, in the smallest corner of her messed up mind. I can see what she does, and I can’t stop her. I want you so bad, but I’m worse than ever now. Ben will put me down soon. He has to. And sometimes, when I’m exhausted and my body hurts like hell from the constant Changing, I think I’ll be relieved when he does.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re on a journey, Anna. You’ve got yourself through the hard part. You’re tired and you’re limping. But you aren’t doing this alone anymore. I’m here. I’ll carry you until you can stand on your own two feet again. That bite mark on your neck? That wasn’t Titan’s pledge to She-Devil. That’s me, Jaxon Barns, telling you I’m fucking in this with you. I’ll carry you on my goddamn back until you can walk on your own again. But I will not allow you to be put down. You aren’t done with this life yet, little badass. You just got a big old beast put inside you, and you have to learn how to work with her.”
“How?”
“With support. You have Samuel and Red Havoc. And first and foremost, you have me for as long as you want. For every breath, every smile, every tear, I’ll be here right here beside you. Leaving didn’t fix anything for either of us. It hurt She-Devil, it hurt you, it hurt me, it hurt Titan. I tried to let you go so you could have a better life, but it didn’t take. So, this is where we dig our toes in against the hurricane that is your monster kitty and walk through the damn storm together. Deal? No quitting. I won’t let you.”
It felt so damn good to hear him pledge to weather her storm. So damn good. “I’ve done this alone this whole time,” she whispered. “It was awful. I had to let go of all my friends and family except for Samuel. If I hadn’t had you all those months, texting me, making me laugh and feel normal for precious minutes at a time, I would’ve buckled under She-Devil. You’ve been propping me up this whole time, and when you left last week, I fell.”
“I won’t let you fall again, Anna,” Jax promised, cupping her cheeks. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I swear to you I’ll keep you propped up until you get your strength back. Even if I have to stay awake every night to keep She-Devil safe, I’ll do it.” He swallowed hard and lowered his voice. “I couldn’t ever figure out why I was given Titan. I used to be so angry about him. Just…pissed off at whatever power decided that I needed to be the one to manage him. But last night, I was watching you fight your crew, watching how tough you are, and this thought filled my head. Maybe I’m Titan because you need me to be. You aren’t alone anymore. You never will be again.” His hands gentle on her cheeks, he eased her back and dipped his lips to hers. He drank her in slowly, his lips moving smoothly against hers. Slowly, he disengaged from the kiss and arched his back, drew her lips to the place right over his heart. “Your turn, Anna.”
“You want my bite? Even after what I told you?”
Jaxon’s smile was slow and evicted the sadness from his expression. “Now I know we match, Kitty. I didn’t want to be the only monster between us, dragging you down for always.”
“Now you know I’m a monster, too.”
“A hot monster.” His white teeth flashed. “A hot monster who needs to stop calling those damn lions into the territory or I’m gonna have to get all murdery. If you want dick, I’m your man.”
Annalise snorted a surprised laugh. “Didn’t you know those calls weren’t for the lions? She-Devil has been trying to get back to the place we were first together. She’s been hunting for you. She didn’t understand why you left.”
“Well,” he murmured, voice going low and soft. “Make it to where I can never leave again.”
Annalise searched his eyes, but there was nothing but sincerity in the soft brown color there. Inhaling deeply, she smiled up at him and said, “I like you.” She waited for his answering smile before she sank her teeth into his pec, right over his heart. He held her head closer, encouraging her, and didn’t flinch or gasp at the pain. That was for her. He was making it easier for her to hurt him. Good mate.
She pulled away and wiped the iron-tasting warmth from her lips with the back of her hand. “Now I’m truly a monster,” she whispered.
Jax shook his head slowly and looked down at her with the proudest expression on his face. He ran a light touch over the painful bite on her neck. “No, Anna. Now you’re claimed. Get on up, grab a few pair of those sexy granny panties, and pack a bag.”
“Why?”
“Because Ben has released you to me until I can get you stronger.”
Annalise frowned in confusion and drew back, searched his face in the early morning light. “How will you do that?”
“With help.”
“From who?”
Jaxon’s smile stretched his face. “From the Gray Backs.”
Chapter Eleven
Annalise wrung her hands nervously. A day and a half drive had turned into two and a half days thanks to She-Devil taking her body twice in Jaxon’s truck. She rested her head back against the shredded headrest and felt like a jerk. His truck had been really nice before she’d sharpened her claws on it.
He’d done well both times to pull over to the side of the road and drag her out before she could destroy it completely, but he was sporting a few new scars now thanks to the black-furred hellion living inside of her. A juicy bug splatted against the windshield, and she snarled. Already her skin was tingling as if she would Change again.
“Can we revisit the idea of a cage room?” she asked Jax.
“You won’t need one up here. You won’t hurt anyone. If you fight them, they’ll just enjoy the bloodbath. Change all you want. You aren’t dangerous to the shifters in Damon’s Mountains.”
“So, explain again why I have to be the Second of Red Havoc?”
“Because you kicked Barret’s ass repeatedly. That last one he took as a challenge and really went at you, and you took your claws to him and demoted Murder Kitty to Third.”
Annalise giggled. “Murder Kitty should be my name.”