As everyone’s gaze drifted to Annalise, she slowly covered up her lady bits as best she could. “Hi,” she said lamely.
“Stop calling her Princess Panther. She can go by Annalise. She’s perfect. A-team. The rest of you like to throw your judgement around, but what just happened here?” Jax said, leveling her with brownish green eyes. “Reminded me of home.” His nostrils flared slightly. “Except it smells like moonshine and cat piss, and you have cabins instead of trailers.”
“Speaking of, you destroyed Annalise’s house.” Ben did a Vanna White gesture toward the cabin Jax had barreled through. The entire front half of it was destroyed. Even the small loveseat was hanging off the porch. “We aren’t exactly rollin’ in the money, asshole.”
“I’ll fix it.”
“No, you won’t. You’re banned from my territory. I take my mission back. I’ll handle it. You just tried to kill Annalise—”
“Claim her, not kill her.
“Doesn’t fucking matter, Grizzly! I saw you going after her. Your bear is out of control, and you drew all our panthers out and into battle. Maybe that was fun for you, but it wasn’t fun for us!”
Anson raised his hand. “It was a little fun before he broke my leg.”
“Shut up, Anson!” Ben yelled.
Anson zipped his mouth and pretended to throw away the key. But the slight curve of his lips said he was amused. God, this crew was weird.
Annalise slowly picked up a shredded couch cushion that was sitting on the lawn beside her and put it in front of her naked body. “I vote he isn’t banned.”
“This ain’t up for votes!” Ben said, exasperated. “This is my call. I’m alpha, and all of your safety is my responsibility. There’s blood every time you come here,” Ben said, his pissed-off glare on Jax now. “No more. This is your warning. Next time you come up here, I’m listening to Barret.”
“Yes!” Barret hissed from near his cabin. “You should come back tomorrow, Grizzly!”
“Oh, my God,” Ben groaned, running his fingers down his face and looking exhausted. “Just leave. Go back to Damon’s Mountains. You aren’t welcome here.”
“You remember Beaston’s call?” Jax jerked his head toward Annalise once. “You’re supposed to let her go.”
“I don’t understand,” Annalise spoke up.
Ben shook his head for a long time, hands on his hips. The silence in the clearing was deafening. “Beaston has no place here, and neither do his visions. I could’ve done it if I hadn’t seen the look of determination in your eyes when you were going after her. I can’t let you take her. You aren’t safe, Jax. She isn’t safe with you. Surely, you can see that.”
There was a moment of surprise on Jax face, and then something awful happened. Annalise could practically see the realization wash through him as he dragged his attention to her. His eyes muddied to the soft brown of his human side, and his expression held ghosts. He glanced down at the long claw mark on his chest, kept his chin tucked, blinked slowly, and then looked at her again. “Anna…”
“Don’t.” She shook her head and approached him slowly. “Don’t go.”
“You need a crew—”
“But I need you, too.”
“No, Kitty. Ben’s right. You aren’t safe with me. What can I give you? I can’t be intimate with you anymore because this will happen. You’ll beg for the bite and eventually I’ll give in. And it’ll hurt, Anna. It won’t be gentle, or romantic. If I allow the bond, you’ll be stuck with…” He gestured to himself.
But to her, being stuck with Jax sounded like the best thing in the world. He stood there tall and strong in front of her. Steady. Powerful legs, eight-pack flexing with each breath, covered in tattoos just right. Beard perfectly trimmed, eyes soft and sad, black hair mussed from the battle. Towering over her. Strong.
“I still feel safe,” she whispered, her eyes burning. “I don’t want you to go.”
“It ain’t his choice,” Ben said.
Jax cast the alpha an angry glance and then stepped closer to Annalise. He pulled the cushion from her, tossed it into the mud, then gripped her shoulders gently. “Your place is here. I can see it clear as day. You’ll get stronger here. You’ll become as fierce as She-Devil up in these mountains. You need steady, Anna.” Jax shook his head sadly. “I wish…more than anything…that I could be that for you. But I was born with Titan. I can’t wreck your crew. I can’t wreck your life. And I will if I stay.”
A traitor tear escaped her eye. She wanted to be strong because everyone was staring at her, and witnessing her heart being ripped out of her chest cavity. Jax was doing that, and he would hold it in his hand and drive away with it. And she would be left here, pretending for always that she was whole while an important part of her would be roaming the world with a rogue.
She closed her eyes tightly as he pulled her in close, and she slipped her arms around his back. This would be the last time she got to touch his skin. She-Devil was purring. Stupid cat. She didn’t understand what this hug was.
It was goodbye.
“Jax—”
“Don’t,” he drawled, easing away from the hug. He stepped backward step-by-step. “Don’t make this harder, or the bear will come back.” Already his eyes were back to that painfully bright green, and he smelled like fur.
“I like you, Anna,” he said, but she knew what he really meant. They’d said that to each other in all those messages because it had been too scary to say the L-word.
And she meant it when she forced the whispered response past her tightened vocal chords. “I like you, too.”
Jax turned and strode toward his truck.
Annalise’s face crumpled, and she cried. What was the point of hiding her agony? She’d had him for a blinding moment of happiness, and now she had to go back to the loneliness because he was really leaving her.
Right before he disappeared into the Red Havoc woods, he gave her a quick glance out his open window. Such agony was etched into his expression Annalise’s knees buckled, and she sank down into the mud, shoulders shaking with her sobbing.
“I’m sorry,” Ben growled, and then he spun and made his way toward his cabin.
One by one, the panthers slunk into their homes until it was only her left, knees in the mud, her heart in the hand of the man she loved.
Annalise had come here so that life could be easier, but it had just gotten ten times harder.
Inside of her, She-Devil screamed her heartbreak.
Chapter Nine
One week.
One week, and Jax hadn’t been able to force himself from Covington, the small town nestled in the Appalachian Mountains that was fifteen miles from her…from Annalise. His Anna. His She-Devil.
Something bad was happening to him.
He’d become stuck in this small town, as if his veins were full of slow drying cement, and he’d hardened day after day until he couldn’t move at all. This was purgatory. Torture. He was so close to her, but so far away.