“Why aren’t panthers allowed to mix with other shifters?”
Jenny sighed. “That’s a question with a layered answer. The biggest one is that we’re rare. If you and Jaxon had a cub, there’s a fifty percent chance you would be having a grizzly. There’s plenty of those. Also, the mixed crews get a lot of attention. They’re out to the public and proud. People take their pictures and want their autographs. They are recognized wherever they go. But big cat shifters tend to stay to themselves in prides or crews because our animals have the instinct to band together and stay hidden and safe. Panthers have always stuck with panthers. It’s just the way it is. We can’t bring in a grizzly like Jaxon, Annalise. Ben would have trouble holding the crew. That man is too dominant, and his animal too big. He would turn this crew into the blood-letting Gray Backs within days. He would ruin Red Havoc and everything we’ve built.” Jenny turned off the water, and Annalise heard her shove the curtain aside. “You could’ve been with him if you were anything but a panther, Annalise. But that’s life. That’s shifter life. It isn’t fair. Protect your crew and let him go.”
Jenny’s flip flops clacked on the tile as she made her way to the door. With the barrier shut behind the woman, and Annalise left alone in the bathroom, the loneliness in her chest threatened to overwhelm her. It was like the old days when she’d first been Turned and had to give up all her friends for their safety. When she’d had to cut herself off from the world to protect it.
Annalise slid her back down the wall and pulled her knees against her chest, hugged them tightly, and watched the spider crawling along the wall across from her. He was going slow, impeded by the water.
She and that spider were the same—wet, alone, and dragging themselves through life.
She didn’t want to be the spider anymore, though.
She wanted to create a life worth living. One where she chased smiles, got the one billion butterflies, and became a functioning member of a crew.
She wanted it all.
Now, she just needed to figure out a way to have her panther-shaped cake and eat her grizzly-shaped cake, too.
Chapter Seven
See Jaxon again asap.
Make him fall in love with me asap.
Make Ben stop being a douche-titty-kitty.
Make Anson and Barret stop being pecker-faces.
Make Greyson talk to me in more than single syllable caveman grunts.
Get everyone to stop calling me Princess Panther.
Make Jenny be my friend. And possibly Crazy Lynn?
Get a motherfuckin’ job. Maybe this should be number 3.
Steal a car to get me to the super-awesome job I find.
Call Samuel so he doesn’t worry.
Find a magical serum to cure shifter-dom, aka kill She-Devil.
Marry Jaxon and have a dozen of his monster bear-panther babies.
Live happily ever after in the woods with a bunch of gross boys who I’m pretty sure are making moonshine on the mountain behind my cabin.
Annalise giggled as she finished writing the last word of her list into her notebook with a flourish of her ballpoint pen. Some of these were jokes. For example, she didn’t really want a dozen babies. Four would be fine. And she probably wouldn’t do any grand theft auto. She had some money saved for an old beater car if she could get a good deal.
She’d always been a list maker, but over the past six months, she’d gotten overwhelmed and stopped doing the things that used to bring her joy. This list was a way to meet short-term goals one by one until she got to the big goal—happiness. She wanted that really bad, but this morning in the shower, as she’d watched that pitiful spider, she’d realized that happiness wasn’t just going to fall into her lap if she pouted long enough about her lousy lot in life. Happiness was something she was going to have to work to create.
Movement out the front window caught her attention, and she stood in a rush to find Greyson walking past her cabin. Yes! Gripping her notebook to her ample teets, she made her way outside and called from the top step of her porch, “Hi Greyson!”
He ignored her like a champ.
“Lovely weather we’re having today, isn’t it?”
Her cave man grunted. Getting warmer.
“What are you up to today? Where are you headed?” she called louder as he strode toward the side of her house. Greyson turned like he was going to answer, and she poised to mark number five off the list. But instead of saying an actual word, he lifted his middle finger and glared at her instead, then disappeared around the corner. Lovely.
She nearly tripped over a box sitting on the second to top stairs when she strode down to go find Anson to pester him into liking her. With a frown, she bent down, picked it up, and shook it gently. It was covered in clear masking tape. There were probably a dozen layers of it, and when she turned it around in her hands, there were words written on the side in dark marker.
Use your claws.
- Jax
Frantically, she scanned the clearing in front of her cabin, but she was alone. How had he snuck up here to deliver this without being caught by Ben, who apparently magically knew everything that happened in his territory? She was calling bullcaca on Jenny’s claim. She had no doubt now that Jaxon could come and go as he pleased, and not get caught if he didn’t want to. Sexy giant stalker.
Use her claws? She flicked out her fingers like wolverine, but nothing happened. “Fing,” she said on the next try, but still nothing.
“I didn’t mean literally, Anna,” a deep rumbling voice sounded from the corner of her cabin.
She screeched and skidded down the stairs, then landed hard on her butt on the very bottom one. The box landed in the dirt in front of her.
“Oh, my God, how have you survived up until now,” Jaxon said from right beside her.
He reached out to help her up, but she swatted away his giant paw and scrambled upright. “You’re supposed to ask if I’m okay after you put me on the ground.”
“I didn’t do that. You should’ve heard me coming. Can you not smell me, woman?”
“Well…” She sniffed delicately. It did smell heavily of Jaxon’s cologne and his bear’s fur. “Maybe I was distracted by presents and riddles.”
“Were you trying to make your claws come out of your human fingers?” he asked. “Because you can’t.”
Damn his amused smile, she wanted to claw that off. “You’re making me mad. And a little embarrassed. I thought for a second you meant I could be a badass like Cat Woman and just…make my weapons come out.”
“Speaking of your weapons.” Jaxon turned around and pulled his blue and black plaid lumberjack shirt up, along with his black T-shirt, and exposed two sets of angry-looking claw marks that were practically healed already.
She canted her head and tried to contain her smile. “If you’re waiting for an apology, I’m not sorry.”