“Fuck,” he murmured against her lips. And then she was moving again. He lifted her off the hood of his truck and settled her on the ground. The grass tickled her shoulder blades, but he’d found a soft enough spot. Jaxon was in work mode right now, on his knees between her legs, pulling her shorts and panties off with a look of such intensity, her stomach dropped to her back. He was beautiful, if a man could be called that. Tall and strong, his wide shoulders and arms flexing with every movement, his jaw gritted in fierce determination, his gaze between her legs with that striking shifter color glowing from them. Now she could see his tattoos weren’t just on his neck and arms, but covered his chest as well. Whoever had done them was a true artist. They’d turned his body into a canvas, into a masterpiece. His black hair was mussed from removing his shirt, and the moonlight cast his muscles in shadows and highlights that made her wish she had a camera to capture this moment. Even with the animal snarl in his throat and those inhuman eyes, he was perfect.
She reached for him, needing suddenly to touch his smooth skin again, needing for him to be pressed against her. He was so much bigger than her, but she felt safe, even as he crushed his weight on top of her and kissed her hard. Before She-Devil, it would’ve been too rough, but now she was purring that he wasn’t being gentle. His hand went to the back of her head, and he gripped her hair and arched her head back, exposing her neck to his biting kisses again. And then he was there, the head of his cock touching her entrance. Her reaction was to claw her fingers up his back.
Stomach flexing against hers, Jaxon slid into her, inch by inch, until she was filled with him. So big. Almost too much. Annalise let off a low groan at how good it felt to have him finally inside her. He held there, buried deep, teeth on her neck, before he eased out again. His lips went to hers on the next stroke, and this thrust was harder, and the next was even harder, faster. His control was slipping, and she fucking loved it. His hands were tight in her hair, and rough on her back as he dragged her even closer. He was pumping into her so fast now, so smooth, hips slamming against hers. It was hard to breathe he was so heavy, so all-encompassing, but panic never made an appearance. All she felt was adored and safe as he guided them both closer to climax. Hips bucking, Jaxon pushed up on his locked arms and told her, “Watch me, Anna.” He gritted his teeth and slammed into her again. “Watch me come. Watch what you do to me.”
His abs flexed every time he pushed into her, his triceps bulged from where he strained above her, and she’d never seen a sexier man than this one, rutting, slamming into her, his eyes locked fiercely on hers.
Annalise cried out his name as her orgasm exploded around him. He slid deep into her and then froze as a feral snarl ripped from him. He dropped down to her again, and his teeth were in this kiss, unforgiving, biting, on the verge of drawing blood as he thrust into her again. His dick throbbed inside of her, filling her with streams of warmth, over and over, encouraging her aftershocks to match his. This was everything. It was the biggest high, the warmest warmth, the deepest feeling, the most soul-consuming sensation. She’d never experienced anything like this.
Jaxon’s grip gentled in her hair as he slowed his pace, and then he stopped moving completely, other than to massage the back of her neck. His breath tickled her throat as he petted her, adored her. Encouraged by his open affection, she ran her nails lightly up and down the strong planes of his back until the growl in his throat died completely.
After minutes of silence, he murmured, “I didn’t like that.”
Annalise froze, her fingers mid-stroke on his shoulder blades. “Being with me?”
“No, woman. I mean, I didn’t like you being scared you would never see me again. It got me riled up and…well…I was going to try and take it slower with you.”
“Oh,” she said, filled with potent relief. “Well, I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m a floozy.”
“Stop,” he said, chuckling.
“It’s true. These granny panties attract a lot of flies to this honey pot.”
“Oh, my God,” he muttered, rolling off her. “That’s an awful visual.” He had pulled her with him, though, and tucked her right against his side. He rested his head on his free arm and stared up at the stars. “Texting you but never seeing you was really hard,” he admitted low. “Sometimes I would go crazy on those days we would rile each other up, when you would talk dirty, and I would want to touch you and be in you so fucking bad I couldn’t think about anything else. It wasn’t just that I wanted your body, Anna. You got me addicted to you. Seeing your messages first thing in the morning got me hooked on that feeling of waking up to you. And when I was having a shit day and you would send me a picture of what you were eating or doing, I would imagine I was with you, not dealing with the shit storm that was my life. I hated not being able to hear your voice, but I don’t have great control over my animal, and I knew I would give myself away.”
“Same here. I tried to convince myself you weren’t real and we weren’t going anywhere. I knew we were stagnant, but I was okay with that because my whole life was stagnant. It was all I could ask for. Jaxon, I’m sorry.”
He swallowed audibly in the dim moonlight. “Okay, tell me why.”
“For keeping my panther a secret, also for ending us like I did. I shouldn’t have told you I was moving in with someone else. I should’ve been woman enough to tell you what was really happening.”
“Don’t waste headspace on guilt, Anna. I lied right along with you. I’m sorry, too.”
“I have regrets, but my biggest one? Jax, I went crazy and dropped my phone in water to cut myself off from the temptation.”
“You can get a new phone.”
“Yeah, but I lost all of our text conversations.” Her voice broke on the last word and she hated how weak she sounded. “Those were my happy place. I liked re-reading old conversations when I was down. I needed a complete re-do if I was going to get some kind of normal life back, but cutting myself off from you hurt way worse than I expected it to. I don’t read books. I never have, but I would spend nights scrolling through our old texts and just smiling and laughing my head off. Our story is my favorite story.”
“Is that why you came to the Red Havoc Crew? To start over?”
She nodded once and propped her cheek on her palm, her elbow on the grass so she could see his face better when she tried to explain. “I know nothing, Jaxon. Like…She-Devil has lighter spots in her coat, like a leopard, where most of the other panthers here are solid black. I have no idea what that even means. I might be a freak. I don’t recognize myself anymore. There’s nothing left of the old me. I have no control and was locking myself in a cage-room when I felt like I would shift, just to protect the outside world from myself.”
“You call your animal She-Devil?” he asked softly, looking down at her.
She cuddled closer against his side and nodded. “She’s a beast. I think she needs a crew. Or at the very least people around who can stop me if I get out of control.”
“So, you’re putting yourself in another cage. Out here.”
She hadn’t thought of it that way, but yeah, kind of. “The crew might be the bars of my cage now, but at least it feels more like freedom.”
Jaxon sighed and rested his chin on top of her head. “You need Red Havoc?”
Heart aching, she nodded. “I think so.”
His heartbeat was racing under her hand as he whispered, “Then we’ll get you Red Havoc.” It sounded like an oath. Like a promise to keep her safe and secure, what she needed. But she knew that meant he wouldn’t be in the picture, and right now, that was unimaginable.
“Don’t leave,” she pleaded. “I need the cage, but I don’t want to be alone again.”