“Look, you’ve got nine months to figure it out. Isn’t that how long a woman is pregnant for?”
Nine months of freedom.
Nine months to live the rest of my life.
Nine months wasn’t a very long time.
“It could be worse, bro,” he said. “At least your baby mama is hot as hell,” he took another puff. “That’s a plus,” he continued.
“Dude, I have a baby mama. Just stop right there,” I sighed heavily. “Man, I don’t want a kid. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. My old man was never around, always chasing a dollar or a dream. He thought being a father meant handing me a trust fund,” I explained. “I never had a dad so how the fuck am I supposed to be one?”
Bones crushed the joint into an ashtray and looked back at me.
“You do everything he never did,” he urged. “You man the fuck up because twenty years from now you don’t want your kid saying the same words you just did.”
Twenty years from now? I couldn’t think about twenty minutes from now.
“Don’t do that shit,” he criticized. “Don’t be my old man.”
Bones’ dad skipped out on him and his mom before he was even born.
And then there was Lauren’s dad who dipped out on the Bianci’s.
I stared at Bones.
“You got a kid coming, man. That’s huge. That’s bigger than you, bigger than your girl, bigger than anything you’ve ever known. I know the club is everything to you right now and you worked real hard for your patch but this, you becoming someone’s father? It’s bigger than the club,” he paused, leveling me with a stare. “Own that shit,” he said, patting me on the back.
“You’ll figure the rest of this shit out as it comes to you but get on board brother, because once that train leaves the station you will be sorry you missed it,” he said, as he started for the door.
That was some deep shit right there. I thought about his words and wondered where they came from. Right now everything seemed out of whack and all I wanted was for things to get back to the way they were. Before Lauren. Before Pea. But his words, they rang in my ears, nagging me and making me wonder if one day I’d look back on this and regret everything.
I haven’t lived a life of regrets and wasn’t going to start now.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“The morgue,” he said flatly.
“What?”
“Jack’s brother needs to be buried. I’m meeting the funeral director and setting it up for him. One last thing he needs to worry about.”
“Any word on Blackie?”
“No change,” he said. “You heading over there?”
“Yeah, after I go buy a fucking refrigerator.”
“You’re buying a refrigerator?”
“Yeah, and your ass is hauling it with me to my apartment,” I demanded.
“I don’t work for free, brother. It will cost you,” he said, laughing as he walked out the door. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bianci’s downstairs waiting for you,”
Of course he was.
Then I felt the color drain from my face.
“The brother not the mother, right?”
He laughed, ignoring my question as he kept on walking.
“Bones,” I called out.
“Man the fuck up, Riggs,” he shouted back.
I picked the joint out of the astray, lit it up and took another greedy pull before I faced the wrath of Bianci. He was sitting at the bar, his hands folded and his head down.
Was he praying?
I shook my head and pulled out the stool beside him.
“Where is she?” He asked.
“Upstairs,” I replied, turning my face to meet his gaze.
“I should kill you,” he pointed out.
I shrugged because it didn’t seem like a bad alternative.
“You could do that I suppose, but I won’t go down without a fight,” I replied.
“Yeah? What would you be fighting for?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, daring me to answer.
“What do you think I’d be fighting for?” I asked incredulously. “World peace? My fucking life.”
“Wrong answer,” he said.
“Yeah, well, school was never my strong suit,” I muttered.
“Pay attention, because I’m about to school you on something,” he warned, twisting in his stool so he was facing me. “The next time I ask you what you’re fighting for, you’re not going to give me any wise crack remark and your answer won’t be your life because your life don’t matter no more,” he continued, eyes sharp as they bore down on me. “You got a kid on the way, a kid that’s my niece or nephew, and the only reason you will keep breathing is because I won’t be the one who takes your life. I won’t be the one that make’s that kid grow up without a father, but if you turn around and decide not to be that kid’s father all bets are off,” he threatened.
I leaned into him and my eyes pierced his.