“Okay, no plan, then,” he said, running his fingers through his hair which I decided was something he did when he was nervous. “You moved back here, right?”
“Yes, I’m staying with Anthony and Adrianna until my mother finds an apartment for us,” I frowned. “That’s temporary. I’m not planning on raising the baby with my mother,” I added.
“You just said you don’t have a plan,” he pointed out.
“Well that much I know,” I snapped. “I will not dump this on my mother’s shoulders. She raised her kids and did it by herself. She did her time,” I said defensively.
“Kitten, calm down,” he said. “I don’t want your mother raising the kid either,” he declared. “And I don’t want you not knowing where you will live. I have an apartment, it’s got two bedrooms and not a stitch of furniture in it but we’ll change that.”
I leaned back and stared as if someone was performing an exorcism on him.
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked, because the Riggs I know wouldn’t be instilling hope in a pretty hopeless situation. Yet, in his own way that’s exactly what he was doing. Neither of us had a clue where we went from here, but he was taking the initiative and that was more than I ever imagined he’d do.
“I’m not even sure why I have the apartment, I sleep here every night, but it’s there, and it’s yours,” he paused. “Lauren, I’m not going to lie to you, I have no idea how to be a dad and up until last night I never even thought about becoming one. But this kid, he’s got other plans for me. So I’ll try. I’ll give you the best I got and hope it’s enough,” he promised. “And whatever it is you need, you tell me and I’ll make sure you have it,” he added.
I stared at him for a moment, unsure how to feel, desperately wanting to believe in him, to believe that Kitten and Tiger could do this. We weren’t going to become some instant family and I could kiss my dreams of my perfect husband goodbye but we could be a team.
“I call the baby Pea,” I shared.
He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Pea,” he tested it out. “Okay,” he agreed. “So you and Pea, you will move into the apartment, right?”
I let out a giggle because his patience was tattering and he was still trying to do the right thing. I stopped laughing and looked at him, seriously, eye to eye.
“If you’re sure, I want you to be sure because I meant it when I said I will do this by myself. I know you didn’t sign up for this—”
“Neither did you…” he interrupted. “...I’m sure,” he continued. “I’ve got some shit to do for the club. Blackie’s in the hospital and I need to get there but when I get back I’ll take you to see the place,” he said, rising to his feet.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“So we’re good?”
“We’re good,” I confirmed.
“All right, I’m going to head out. Do you need anything else?”
“No, I’m fine,” I forced a smile as he looked like he was ready to flee. “Go ahead, do your thing,” I encouraged.
He shoved his boots on, not bothering with the laces and grabbed his gun from the dresser, fitting it into the waistband of his jeans before he slipped his arms into his leather jacket and headed toward the door. His hand paused on the doorknob and he glanced over his shoulder at me.
I waved from the bed.
He nodded.
And then he hurried out the door.
Awkward.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
I ran the fuck away from that room, from Kitten and from Pea.
Pea.
I had a Pea.
The door across from mine opened and Bones stood in the doorway.
“Was wondering when you were going come out of hiding,” he said, smugly. “You all right bro, you’re looking a little green,” he observed.
I pushed him aside and brushed passed him as I walked into his room.
“Man, I’m fucked,” I stressed.
He stuck his head into the hallway, looking from left to right before he shut the door and leaned his back against it.
“So congratulations would be the wrong thing to say?” He mocked.
“Laugh it up,” I seethed, pacing his room, running my fingers through my hair tugging at the ends. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
He sighed, walking toward his dresser and opened a cigar box he kept on top of it. He pulled a perfectly rolled joint from inside, lifted it to his nose, breathing in the scent of the herb as he reached for a lighter and lit that shit up.
“You talk to her?” He asked.
“Barely,” I confessed, watching him as he took the first toke. “I think she’s just as fucked as me but hides it better,” I said, reaching for the joint.
“So, she’s going to keep it?”
“She’s named it already!” I said, coughing up smoke.
Bones covered his mouth to hide the laughter.
Bastard.
“Seriously, man, I’m drowning here,” I cried, taking a long drag of the joint. “My life isn’t cut for a kid. I don’t even have a car! What am I supposed to do? Strap a sidecar onto my bike?”
He took the joint from my hand and outright laughed at me. I glared at him and flipped him the bird.