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Lethal Temptations Prologue
“I’m getting out of here,” Riggs said, throwing some money on the bar. I nodded, a delayed reaction to his departure, and lifted the shot glass to my lips, welcoming the smooth poison down my throat. Unsatisfied and insatiable I flicked the empty glass across the bar.
“Another, boss?” the bartender asked.
I shook my head, pushing back my stool and slowly rising to my feet. The alcohol wasn’t making me numb like it usually did and the methadone doesn’t bring me to the state of oblivion I crave.
I’m a junkie.
A fucking junkie.
I’ve got the track marks on my arms to prove it.
And I make no apologies for it.
This is who I am, or what is left of who I used to be, depending on who you ask.
I feel her innocent eyes on me, burning a hole into my back, setting my cold heart on fire. I won’t turn around, I won’t even acknowledge her because I have enough demons and don’t need those dark sad eyes haunting me anymore than they already do.
Some people think I have a death wish, that I’m on a mission to end this nightmare I call life, and maybe for a while I thought they were right. A part of me wanted to join Christine, to see her one last time and make right all the wrong I did to her but when I nearly died, my body didn’t succumb to the darkness and fought against it. Jimmy Gold pumped me with enough drugs to kill me two times over but it was Reina, my president’s girlfriend who made me realize I wanted to live and I wanted to live for those dark eyes pinned to me right now.
Leather.
Lace.
Me.
Her.
A temptation so lethal, neither of us would survive.
Maybe I did have a death wish.
I stumbled into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, before I turned around and glanced at myself in the dirty mirror. Staring at my reflection, I wonder why she even looks at me and what someone as innocent and pure as her, sees in a poisonous bastard like me.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with five Xanax pills and slap the bag onto the counter. I divert my eyes back to the mirror and stare back at the piece of shit staring back at me.
“Fuck you,” I growl, hanging onto the feeling of self-loathing, welcoming it and encouraging it to overcome me. I slam my fist against the baggie on the counter, over and over again, crushing the pills until they turn to dust. I empty the dust onto the counter, not giving a fuck how dirty and disgusting the bathroom is because all that matters is my fix.
I’m in the zone, anxious for the high that hopefully will come and wash away my thoughts of her.
She is my savior and my assassin.
The one that keeps me from ending it.
And yet, right now I’m slowly killing myself trying to escape the thoughts of her.
Lacey Parrish. Jack’s daughter. His fucking nineteen-year-old daughter who wasn’t even legally allowed to order a fucking drink.
She’s not a fucking woman, just a little girl pretending to be one.
She was so innocent, so pure, so untouchable and untainted.
But I’m the filth that took her innocence, who touched her and tainted her.
I rolled the twenty-dollar bill and hunched over the counter dragging the bill across the powder of pills up my fucking nose.
One rip.
Another.
Three rips later, I licked my finger tips and swiped them across the counter top, before popping them into my mouth and sucking any residue of the pills from my skin.
No waste.
A true junkie.
I sniffled, wiping the excess powder from my nose before I turned around and unlocked the door and waited for the numbness to inebriate me as I stepped out of the bathroom, colliding with the soft body I once held in my arms.
I stared into her sad eyes, knowing I was the reason she looked broken, just a shell of the girl she was before I touched her. I ruined her, like I ruined Christine.
Everything I touch I destroy.
“How long are you going to pretend I don’t exist?” She finally asked, her voice just an octave above a whisper.
Pretend she doesn’t exist? She’s the only fucking thing that exists in my head. She’s the face I see when I wake, when I lay my head down and when I pass the fuck out from whatever poison I consume trying to forget that she does exist.
I shoved my hands into my pockets, taking a step closer to her, the scent of her worked its way through my raw nostrils, more intoxicating than any drug I could ever snort or shoot through my veins. I leaned closer, closing my eyes and got high off her.
“Until you disappear once and for all,” I said, opening my eyes and glaring at her.
Go away Lacey.
Smarten the fuck up.
Get out while you still can.
I pushed past her, leaving her alone in the hallway, knowing her eyes were full of tears that my words caused.
Cry.
Hate me.
I’m no good for you.