“She wanted to talk about the baby. I figured she needed something or hell, I don’t know I was just fucking happy she called and told her to meet me at the compound,” I explained, running my fingers through my hair. “Man, I didn’t want any of this. You know that,” I emphasized.
“I know,” he said, turning his eyes toward Jack. “I don’t give a fuck about your goddamn club business. This shit is personal to me now. That’s my fucking family in there, my blood and you’re family ain’t keeping me at bay anymore. You hear me, brother?” He snarled.
Jack held Anthony’s stare but remained silent as I brushed past them, needing a break from everyone. I made my way through the parting doors, taking big greedy gulps of air as I ignored the stares of people outside watching me. I leaned against the wall, propping my boot against the bricks and watched as a man pulled his SUV up to the entrance. He walked around the car, opened the backseat and removed one of those infant car seats. He wore a big grin on his face as he slammed the door of his car and told the security guard he’d be right down, he was taking home his newborn daughter today.
A great day.
One that man would never forget.
It’s amazing how one man’s life can be complete while another man’s falls apart.
I don’t know how long I stood out there waiting for the man to come down but the moment I saw him wheeling his wife out of the hospital, I knew that’s why I stood outside and waited. I wanted to catch a glimpse of the happy family, and happy they were. Both mom and dad beamed from ear to ear as they worked their precious bundle of joy into the car.
I never wanted any of that. Standing here watching that couple, knowing I could’ve had that and not sure if my family will live to see a day like these people were sharing…well, now, it’s all I wanted.
I thought of Pea entering the world alone.
I hope he isn’t scared because Mommy and Daddy would make it okay.
We will.
Just give us a chance.
Hang in there Pea, Daddy loves you.
So fucking much it hurts.
I watched the family drive away from the curb before finding my way back into the hell that was now the waiting room of Lutheran Medical.
The doors opened and two doctors walked out, one lifted his eyes, pulling off the mask as he searched the room. The other doctor pointed to where we were sitting as they made their way to us. My eyes locked with the first doctors and I tried desperately to read his expression, to prepare myself for what he was about to say but he remained neutral. I kicked off the wall I was leaning on and started toward him, my brothers rose from their seats, flocking around me.
Anthony and Maria who were sitting across the waiting room, gravitated toward me, fear in their eyes as they stared at the doctors.
I felt someone take my hand and when I looked down, Maria’s hand was wrapped tightly around mine. I lifted my eyes but she looked straight ahead at the doctor. I don’t know why she took my hand, maybe she did it for selfish reasons, maybe she did it for me, or maybe she did it because Lauren would’ve wanted her to. Whatever the reason was, I was glad she did and I squeezed her hand back. I vowed to prove to this woman how much I loved and respected her daughter. And with that vow, came the realization that Lauren didn’t even know how I felt about her.
What if I never get the chance to tell her? What if I never get the chance to thank her for taking the detour and storming past the roadblock that guarded anyone from getting close?
“Are you the family of Eric Nicholson?”
Bones.
The other doctor opened the chart, glancing at it.
“He has a Robert Montgomery, listed as an emergency contact.”
“That’s me,” I croaked.
“Is he okay?”
Jack walked up beside me, placing one hand on my shoulder as he and the doctor exchanged a look.
“What? What is it?” I asked, as I diverted my eyes back and forth between Jack and the duo of doctors.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Montgomery. One of the bullets hit his lung and the other pierced through his heart. We couldn’t get the bullets out because we couldn’t stop the bleeding. We tried everything we could to save him but the blood filled his lungs.”
“No!” I shouted, trying to absorb what he was saying. “He’s dead?”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” the doctor said, offering his condolences as the other doctor bowed his head regretfully.
Jack gripped my shoulders, turning me around to face him.
“Bones is dead? Jack, Bones is dead,” I rambled, as he grabbed a hold of my shoulders and stared at me solemnly
“I’m so sorry,” he muttered.
“Bones is dead,” I repeated. “And I didn’t get to say goodbye or thank him.” I pulled away from Jack. “He jumped in front of those bullets, trying to save Lauren, trying to save my kid.”
I took a step backward, running my fingers roughly through my hair as I glanced around the waiting room at my brothers and the Bianci’s.
“He died trying to save my family and he was alone when he died, no family, no brother. I didn’t get to say goodbye, and thanking him while he bled out on the ground isn’t enough. It’s not enough,” I shouted angrily, turning around to the doctors. “Can I see him?”