I lifted my hand and pressed it against her cheek, my stomach rolling at what I was about to confess. “Solnyshko,” I whispered almost apologetically, “tonight, I will kill again.”
Kisa closed her eyes and breathed sharply through her nose. “I know.” Kisa opened her eyes and tried to smile, saying, “because that’s part of who you are, inside. A part of you needs to kill those you feel do wrong against those you love. Raze needs to kill to protect his family. And Zaal, he’s your family.”
My eyebrows pulled down as I wondered if all this was a dream. But by the understanding look on Kisa’s face, I knew it was real. She got me. She’d understood my biggest fear, and in only the way Kisa could, she made it better.
I could breathe.
I relaxed and I could breathe.
Kisa’s expression changed and a blush coated her cheeks. Suddenly, she gripped my hand. “Luka,” she said as I brought her hand to my mouth.
“Yes?” I replied.
She turned around and reached into her purse. She then pulled something out, and clutched it in her palm.
With the picture hidden in her grip, she looked to me nervously. Squeezing my hand, she said, “I have something to tell you.”
I nodded, my stomach tensing at whatever she had to say. Taking a deep breath, she held out her hand, and a picture was placed in her palm. Pushing it into my hand, I looked down at the small paper square and turned it over.
At first I wasn’t sure what I was looking at, then I focused on the grainy black-and-white picture and all the air in my body left my lungs. I froze, unable to move as my hands began to shake.
My eyes snapped up and met with my wife’s. “Kisa…,” I whispered. A tear ran over my cheek. “Are you … Is this…?”
My eyes fell to Kisa’s stomach, and suddenly all the sickness, the paleness and tiredness she’d experienced of late, made sense. Taking my hand, Kisa laid it flat over her stomach. I watched her face as she smiled and nodded.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, lyubov moya,” she whispered, “we’re having a baby.”
Overcome with emotion and pure fucking happiness, I dived forward, lowering myself to the floor, between Kisa’s legs. My hands splayed on Kisa’s thighs, then drifted up to land on her waist. I lifted her shirt and pressed my lips to her soft skin. Kisa’s hands threaded through my hair, and I closed my eyes and just breathed. It was what we’d always wanted. A baby. A little person made by the both of us.
A family. The start of our own little family.
Pulling back from pressing kisses on Kisa’s stomach, my eyes met my wife’s. “I love you, solnyshko,” I whispered, unable to express all I felt inside. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me so much. For understanding me like no one else.”
A cry broke from Kisa’s throat, and she held me so close. We seemed to stay that way for a lifetime; I never wanted to move. Then I heard movement near the front door and I knew the byki were here.
With a final kiss to my hair, Kisa guided me backward and cupped my face. “You need to go and get Zaal, Luka. You need to give Talia and him the chance to love as deeply as we do.”
My eyes closed and I nodded. My hand lightly pressed over Kisa’s stomach, and I rose to my feet. I stood looking at the back room, the room that held my weapons. I’d never gone into a fight without them before. But I also didn’t want Kisa seeing that side of me. I wasn’t sure she wanted to see me battle-ready. I didn’t want her upset. Especially now.
Kisa stood and kissed me on my cheek. “Go, baby. Go be the man you need to be.”
I had no idea how she did that, how she could so perfectly read my mind.
Kisa urged me to move with her hand, and I stepped forward.
*
My heart thudded as I walked to the back room. My head was spinning with the news.
I was going to be a father. Kisa was carrying our child.
A feeling of deep peace washed through me at the thought of seeing my love full with our baby. And my heart felt free. Free now that Kisa had accepted the man I was. She’d accepted all of me.
Completely.
Without judgment.