Maybe even more than like him.
I’ve only halfway felt the word that rhymes with glove once in my life, and it didn’t end well. Now, sitting at the bar in Logan’s kitchen as we finish our dinner, I’m having a bit of an internal crisis.
I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t even know if I should tell him. I don’t doubt that he likes having me around, but little things tell me he still hasn’t lost his wariness of women trying to tie him down as a paycheck.
And here I am with no income still as I work out my design issues so I can get my business fully off the ground.
I make the executive decision: I’m not going to say it first. It might not be the mature decision, but it’s the only one that works for me.
I don’t know if I could handle him telling me that he just doesn’t feel that way, or telling me it’s time to move on now that I’ve gotten attached. After all, I’m the girl you screw around with, not the one you settle down with.
When the hell did I start thinking in terms of settling down?
Logan pushes his plate away, but I still have half a steak and a salad to finish.
I’m not sure if I’m scared that I’m going to blurt something out, but right now I don’t trust myself enough not to start babbling because I’m having a minor meltdown.
I’m twenty-seven. I’m the CEO of a broke company that no one has ever heard of—but I’m planning to make it a household name in the orgasm-delivery business. Settling down shouldn’t even be in my plans right now.
“Something wrong with the steak, Bruce?” Logan asks.
I shake my head and cut another piece to pop into my mouth, industriously chewing like my life depends on it.
“So, I was thinking,” he says, “dinner isn’t enough of a rain check. Maybe we should get away for a weekend together. I know this place up in the Smokies that people sometimes use for honeymoons, but—”
I choke on the meat and start coughing.
“Jesus, are you okay?”
My eyes are watering, and I sound like I’m about to hack up a lung. I reach for my water and chug some to dislodge the meat.
“Do you need the Heimlich?” Logan stands up, poised to wrap his arms around my chest and start the maneuver.
I shake my head, reaching for my napkin to cover my mouth as I spit out the chunk and crush it into a ball.
“I’m okay.” My voice comes out as a wheeze, and Logan stares at me like I’ve grown a third eye.
“Are you sure?”
I nod, reaching for my water again to calm my angry throat. “Just went down wrong.”
I still sound like I’ve been strangled, but it’s the best I can do as I reach over the edge of the counter for a piece of paper towel to wipe at the tears still leaking from the corners of my eyes.
He studies me for a moment before sitting back down. “Too much with the weekend thing?”
I shake my head. “Just bad timing with me trying to stuff my face.”
“So I should wait to ask you until I’m balls deep and keep you on the edge of orgasm until you say yes?”
My Logan-loving lady parts perk up at that question.
“I can tell you like that idea,” he adds.
“I guess you’ll have to try it and see,” I reply, hoping it comes off casually, even though I feel like there’s a flashing neon sign above my head that says NONE OF THIS IS CASUAL ANYMORE.
“I think that’s exactly what I should do. Who knows what I could get you to say if I started withholding orgasms.”
He’d probably have me screaming out “I love you” in minutes. I freeze. Holy. Shit.
Desperate to change the subject to something less terrifying, I blurt, “Maybe we should try anal.”
This time Logan’s the one choking on a sip of beer.
“Are you okay?”
He nods and coughs a few more times before setting the glass down. “Not that I have a problem with it, but where the hell did that come from?”
I reach for my water and take a sip. “It’s not like we haven’t been dancing around it. And I thought the answer to anal was always a yes without question or hesitation.”
Logan’s gaze collides with mine. “The answer to sliding into that tight little ass of yours isn’t just a yes, Banner. It’s a f*ck yes.” Despite the heat in his blue eyes, he’s still studying me as if he’s trying to read between the lines to figure out what prompted my awkward-as-hell subject change.
“That’s a relief because if you weren’t interested, that would be a great sign that you’re ready to move on.”
When Logan raises an eyebrow, I realize I’ve tipped my hand.
“Is that what you’re worried about? That I’m gonna lose interest?”
This time, I’m not the least bit subtle about shoving a forkful of salad into my mouth to prevent me from answering, and he connects the dots.
Logan leans back in his stool and crosses his arms over his broad chest.
“Are you serious? You’re the one who’s worrying I’m gonna lose interest, when I’ve got to compete with the entire borough of Manhattan to keep you here, and I’ve only got my cock and some seasoned fries from Mr. Burger as motivation.”
I lean across the counter. “Your cock is a pretty powerful motivator, though.”
“But what if it isn’t enough?”
I swallow back a little of the fear and meet his stare. “No pun intended, Logan, but you’re the whole package.”
“So are you, Bruce. So are you.”
My heart fills so full, I feel like it might explode. This moment is big, so of course I have to screw it up because I’m terrified of what I might say next.
“That’s a yes to anal tonight?”
Chapter 40
Logan
I park in the closest non-handicapped spot to the door of the CVS three towns over because neither Piggly Wiggly nor I have the right kind of lube, and the pharmacy is already closed for the night. This is the only twenty-four-hour place within fifty miles.
We both hop out of my truck, even though I’m sure Banner can do this without me. Still, I’m a gentleman, and I’m not going to make her buy the lube. I meet her on the sidewalk and slide my hand into hers.
She squeezes my fingers. “Do you feel naughty? I haven’t felt naughty about buying lube since I was . . . never mind how old I was, but it’s been a long time. Why is this different?”
“Probably because if we see anyone we know, the entire town is going to find out that I’m the luckiest man around.” I pause. “Actually, they already know that, but this would confirm it.”
Banner rolls her eyes at me. “Like we’re going to see anyone I know. Maybe you, but not me.”
“You know almost as many people as I do at this point. When the population is just over two thousand, it doesn’t take long. Besides, you’re the one who felt the need to be social when we were at Brews.”
She doesn’t reply but pulls me along behind her into the store and heads toward the back. I’m scanning faces as we walk. Banner stops at the end of an aisle and reaches out to grab a box. Then she puts it back and grabs a bigger box before looking up at me with a grin.
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