She glanced at her phone on the passenger seat, and the muscles in her neck tightened. She’d seen the message from Kurt, and she needed to call him. She wanted to call him, but she was in such a quagmire about Daisy Chain that she felt sick to her stomach.
I want the Daisy Chain contract.
I want Kurt.
Why me? Why now? Why can’t this be easy?
Leanna went off the main drag and took a residential road through Eastham toward Wellfleet. With her windows down, the breeze from the bay washed over her, settling her nerves a little. The smell of the damp sea air brought memories of the first night she met Kurt and the first time they made love on the beach. It made her long to be with him. The Cape had always soothed her in ways that no other town ever had. Her creativity flowed when she was here. She thought of her family’s vacations at the cottage, arguing with her siblings over who got to sleep in the loft, playing in the surf, and when they all got a little older, scoping out the other teenagers. Summers with Bella, Amy, Jenna, and the other Seaside residents were irreplaceable. Those were memories she’d always cherish, and one day, she hoped to have her own family and create memories that were just as meaningful.
She wanted to create those memories with Kurt.
She knew he couldn’t move to the Cape full-time. He’d made it pretty clear that his life was in New York and he had no intention of changing that. Why should he? It was Leanna who was changing the plans, not Kurt.
This is why I’m not a planner.
She pulled into Seaside and parked by the laundry room, then crossed the gravel road to Bella’s cottage and walked right in. She kicked off her sandals by the door, dropped her keys on the floor, and headed into the bedroom. Bella’s king-sized bed was always perfectly made. Kurt would like that. The fluffy pink comforter and lacy white pillows seemed out of place beside thoughts of Bella’s brash personality. Pink and lace should be reserved for sweet Amy Maples. Leanna didn’t have the emotional fortitude to figure out Bella at the moment. She was just thankful for their friendship. She knew Amy would have let Pepper out plenty of times and loved him up throughout the day, and right at the moment, she needed to disappear. She also needed to call Kurt. But the bed looked so inviting, and she couldn’t call Kurt until she cleared her head. Just five minutes of escaping her worries; that’s all she needed. Leanna lay facedown on the bed and closed her eyes with a heavy sigh.
Maybe she could just hide out here and everything would somehow be okay.
She heard the screen door open, and she grabbed a pillow and put it over her head.
“I told you I saw her van,” Amy said as she came into the bedroom. “Uh-oh. I guess it didn’t go well. I’ll get a bottle of wine and Pepper.”
Leanna felt the mattress sink on her right side, and a hand landed on her lower back. The scent of Jenna’s Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen gave her away. Bella’s body landed heavily to her left, and when Leanna opened her eyes, Bella narrowed hers.
“Forget ’em.” Bella pressed her lips together. “You need Daisy Chain like you need a third pinky. Fun to show off, but what are they bringing to the table?”
Leanna couldn’t help but laugh.
Jenna stroked her back as the screen door opened again and Leanna heard Pepper’s nails click-clacking on the hardwood floors. His paws and wet nose popped up by her head, and he barked.
Leanna reached out and petted his head, still sort of wishing she could close her eyes and everything would be okay.
“I’ve got wine and brownies that Pepper and I made together this afternoon. Oh, and we might have eaten a few of the fruits from your bouquet.” Amy paused. “Okay, I might have eaten them, but Pepper didn’t stop me, so he’s sort of responsible, too.”
Leanna flopped over onto her back and reached for Bella’s and Jenna’s hands.
“They want me,” she said flatly.
“They want you?” Bella bolted upright and glared down at Leanna. “Then what on earth?”
Jenna’s face came into view, head-to-head with Bella’s above Leanna. “Isn’t that what we worked so hard for? This is good, right?”
Amy’s face joined the others, head tilting first one way, then the other. “Sweetie? Did something happen with Kurt? What’s going on? What can we do?”
Leanna sat up, parting the wall of concerned faces like the Red Sea. Amy handed her a glass of wine, then handed one to each of the others. Leanna looked at the glass, hoping that somewhere in the sweet liquid was a remedy to her hurting heart—and knowing that all the wine in the world wouldn’t help. She handed the glass back to Amy and fell back on the bed again—eyes slammed tight.
“Oh, no you don’t,” Bella said. “Ames, can you please take these?”
They handed Amy their glasses.
Leanna felt her strong hand on her left arm, and Jenna’s on her right, as they dragged her to an upright position. Pepper stood sentinel at Leanna’s feet, barking at the others.
“Guess we’re doing walk therapy, huh?” Amy took the glasses to the kitchen as Bella and Jenna brought Leanna to her feet and dragged her out to the deck.
They waited for Amy, who returned with Leanna’s sandals, and she took hold of Pepper’s leash. They walked down the gravel road arm in arm.
“Spill,” Bella directed.
Leanna let out a loud breath. “You know I’m supposed to move in with Kurt in New York on Monday.” A lump formed in her throat.
“Right. Got it,” Bella said. “And?”
“And Daisy Chain wants to carry my stuff everywhere, which is great, but they want me to remain local. To keep up with the distribution, I have to pretty much work year-round, but that means working here year-round, and if I do that, then I can’t be with Kurt, and—” Her eyes filled with tears as they passed the pool and headed back up the hill toward her cottage. “And if I can’t have Kurt…”
“Honey, why can’t you have Kurt if you work?” Amy’s voice was filled with compassion.
“Because. He’s not going to upend his perfect, organized life in New York and live on the Cape. What’s in the Cape during the winter? Snow? Ice? It’s desolate, and he’s a family guy. I told you about the interviews.” Jenna made a tsk sound. “This is a dilemma. What does Kurt say?”
Leanna bit her lower lip. Jenna had spoken her worst fear. She’d said aloud what Leanna couldn’t force herself to, because doing so would make the words—and the meaning of them—seem more real.
“You haven’t told him?” Jenna exchanged a worried look with Bella. “Leanna, you have to tell him. Monday is only a few days away.”
Leanna’s gut clenched again. “Don’t you think I know that?” She didn’t mean to raise her voice. “I want to be there. And I want to be here.”
Tony came out of his cottage wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts and a rich tan. “Hey, girls.” He stood with his hands on his hips as they approached, taking in each of their worried faces. His smile faded quickly.
“Uh-oh. What’s happened?” He fell in line beside Amy.
“She got the Daisy Chain contract,” Amy explained.