“That’s because he doesn’t,” Mason said.
“But why though?” I asked. “You still haven’t told me. I mean, I could see him a little upset at you just dropping out and leaving like you did, but it seems to run deeper than that.”
Mason sighed. “You killed my boner, you know that?”
I shrugged helplessly. “Sorry.”
Mason half-chuckled and then adopted a serious expression. “Just kidding. Ok. I’ve never told anyone this story. Shortly after I was born, my mother died from complications.”
“I knew that already,” I said.
“Yeah, but you haven’t let me get to the rest.”
“Sorry,” I apologized. “You know I have a penchant for interrupting.”
“Don’t I know it? But that’s what makes me love you all the more. Anyway, Dad was heartbroken for many years because of it. He didn’t know what to do with himself — it was awful. I was too young then to know what was going on, but as I got older, Dad would say things to me that no parent should say to their child.”
“Like what?”
“Like he wished I’d never been born.”
I gasped, putting my hands to my lips. “Mason, that’s horrible.”
Mason nodded. “I know. And it got worse before it got better. Anytime I did anything bad, he would remind me of how much of an ungrateful little shit I was and how I was the reason why mom died.”
“Don’t take this as I don’t believe you, Mason, but I’ve never heard him say anything like that to you.”
“It got better as time went on. And once he got with Sherry, things were better. I guess his heart was on the mend — but both of us have resentment toward one another because of it.” Mason shrugged.
“Geez,” I said, shaking my head. “I know Mom always blames me for everything, but she’d never go that far.”
Mason’s eyes grew distant. “You know, when they married, you became the closest person to me in my life, even if it didn’t feel like it. I wanted to tell you things, but I didn’t want you to have those negative emotions in your system or to think I was trying to influence you to hate my dad. And in a way, I think him blaming me for mom’s death shaped me into who I am today. Always wanting to do things my own way — to be a rebel.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. “Mason, I’m so sorry. I never knew.”
Mason frowned. “Don’t cry, Carly. It’s not like I’m exactly a total lost cause because of it. You see how good I turned out — a fucking model citizen.”
I laughed and wiped at my tears with the back of my hand. “A model citizen all right.”
He went back to what he was saying. “So yeah. That’s where our hate comes from. He blames me for Mom’s death, and when I left, it brought those feelings back up I think. It’s probably worse now with him and Sherry being split.”
Mason’s expression brightened suddenly. “But enough of the depressing talk. Once we cross the border, all of that bullshit will be behind us.”
I was silent for a moment, digesting everything. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to come back?” I asked softly.
While I was happy to be with Mason, it was a pretty sobering thought to think that I might be leaving for good. I mean, it’s not like I had much going on, but it’s all I knew, and leaving the country kind of put a nail into ever fixing my relationship with my mother. It was a thought I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up on.
“Having second thoughts?” Mason asked as if sensing my apprehension. “You still have the choice to stay if you want to.” He seemed to tense, as he waited for my response.
“No, no,” I said quickly not wanting him to get the wrong idea and think I was getting cold feet. “I’m committed.”
Mason sighed with relief, visibly relaxing. “Good. Because after what happened at the cabin, I’d like to get far away for a while.”
“How are we going to survive, though? What are we going to do for money?” I damn sure didn’t have any stored away.
“Don’t worry about money, Carly,” Mason said. “I have that covered.”
I made a face. “Another one of those things you won’t tell me?”
Mason nodded.
“I should’ve known.” I shook my head. “So with no job, I don’t understand what we’ll be doing when we get there. It seems like we’ll have a lot of free time with nothing to do.”
“I think I know what we’ll spend a lot of time doing,” Mason remarked with a grin.
“What?” I asked, knowing what he meant but still wanted to hear it.
His grin grew wider. “Work on your cock gobbling skills.”
I snatched a nearby pillow and threw it at him, but he caught the pillow, laughing. “You wanna go, Missy?”
He lobbed the pillow at my head and I ducked, barely dodging it. Next thing I knew, he was on top of me and I was being tickled relentlessly from all sides.
“Stop!” I screamed, laughing so hard it hurt.