My soul ached.
How bad of a person could I be if this sweet soul came to me freely, eagerly?
This child would be my redemption. He was my chance at a better life.
My tone whisper-soft, I said, “Let’s get you home.”
As he allowed me to pull him out of the car, I lifted him in my arms, and as I settled him onto my hip, my lips began to tremble as I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me.
The feeling... oh, God.
My heartbeat slowed in that moment.
The feeling of holding your child for the very first time was nothing short of awesome.
“Oh, shit,” I whispered as I pressed my lips to his head. For the first time in my life, I felt my heart might just burst from fullness. My eyes closed at the sheer force of the emotion I felt right then. It was hard to breathe past the thickness in my throat.
Holding my son close, I walked past the crowd, and when I was noticed, a man called out, “Hey! Where are you taking him?”
I didn’t bother responding.
A mother did not defend how she protected her child and protect him I would, even from his own parents.
I walked the short distance to my black Mercedes Kompressor and put my little man in the backseat, buckling him up before running a gentle, loving hand down the side of his face. Sliding into the driver seat then turning on the ignition, I drove and drove, and I wasn’t sure how long passed before the sad little boy in the back seat uttered an unsteady, “I want my mum.”
“Sweetie.” My brow furrowed as I peered into the rearview mirror. “Don’t be sad.” I kept my smiling eyes on him as I revealed my little secret.
“I’m your mummy now.”
***
Twitch My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, putting my coffee mug down. I looked down at the screen before answering. “What’s up?”
“Molly lit the distress signal,” said Happy.
He was on speaker in a car. He was driving, and as I heard cars honking around him, I knew he was driving fast.
Without a second to spare, I bolted out the front door and spoke into the phone. “Where?”
“The street before the school.”
I was already in my car, and as I turned the ignition, I saw Lexi rush out of the house barefoot, her eyes wide in question. I didn’t have time to stop. I pulled out of the driveway so fast the tires spun.
My chest thumped as I drove toward the school.
And for the first time in my life, I prayed to a God I didn’t believe in that this was only a caution.
I arrived to a scene of chaos. Molly’s car was smoking from under the hood, all the doors were open, and I couldn’t see anyone inside. The car was stationary on the sidewalk, a long trail of skid marks leading to where it had come to stop. Happy was talking to a paramedic, and when he doubled over, holding his head in his hands, I stalled midstep.
My heart stopped beating.
The heaviness in my chest weighed me down. I couldn’t move.
Happy straightened. He spotted me and started to walk over, but I stepped back, away from him. He kept coming, and the moment he reached me, he put his hands to my shoulders.
I shrugged him off. “Where is he?”
“Molly’s in bad shape. She’s barely breathing. They’re taking her to—”
Right then, I didn’t give a fuck about Molly. “Where is he?”
“—the hospital.”
Suddenly irate, my eyes widened, as I panted out, “Where is he?”
Happy swept his tongue out along his lower lip and placed his hands onto his hips. “She ran ‘em off the road, a witness said. Got out of the car and did a pretty good job of convincing the crowd that she was a friend.” He looked at me meaningfully. “Allowed her to get close.”
My eyes flashed. Pushing against his chest, I gripped his shirt tight and curled my lip, letting out an ominous, “I swear to God, bro....”
Happy didn’t flinch as he spoke the words that had my head imploding. He said it quietly, wretchedly. “He’s gone, Twitch.” I pushed at his shoulders and watched him stumble. “She took him.”
Fuck.
My head spun.
Shit.
My heart broke.
No. No. No, no, no.
This wasn’t happening.
Wandering aimlessly, I put my hands to the top of my head and blinked into nothingness.
I wanted to blame Ling, but the truth made my chest cave.
This was my fault.
***
Lexi The sound of the car pulling in had me stepping out to meet him, my throat tight. As Twitch stepped out of the car, his eyes bleak, avoiding my gaze, my breathing turned shallow.
That was when I saw it.
The school bag hanging from his hand.
Police cars pulled up in front of the house, and as I blinked without focus, my entire world crumbled. I shook my head and peered over at Twitch, utterly dazed. When he finally met my eyes, the raw emotion I saw behind those soft brown eyes had me putting a hand to my throat, and stating, “No.”
One man stepped forward, and I heard him speak, but none of it really sunk in.
“Ms. Ballentine, my name is Gabriel Blanco. I’m with the Australian Federal Police.” He took his time, speaking low and calming. “Can we come in?”
I turned slowly to Twitch. My vision blurred with unshed tears. My voice was little over a whisper. “Where’s my son?”
Twitch stepped forward holding the small blue schoolbag in his hands, and it hung there like bad omen. He spoke softly, “We were wrong.” Reluctantly, he amended his statement. “I was wrong.” His hesitance spoke volumes. “She wasn’t after me.”
“Oh,” I breathed out as my throat closed over and the first of my hot tears trailed my cheeks. I fell to my knees, unblinking, and let out a hushed, “I see.”
We were wrong.
Dear God, no.
My heart began to race and my breathing turned to heavy panting as the gravity of this situation hit me.
We were so wrong.
The Dragon Queen had my son.
***
Ling He was crying.
Oh, God, he cried, and it seemed like he would never stop. It went on for so long I wondered if he would ever just dry out. There was no way a child as small as he had stored so much fluid for the tears he cried were never ending.
He cried in the car.
He cried in the apartment.
He cried as I bathed him. As I dressed him. As I held him and rocked him and loved him.
He cried.
And it hurt so badly.
A small sigh escaped me.
So this was motherhood.
I kept my eye on him from a distance, and when he finally cried himself to sleep, I let out a shallow, shaking breath, sneaking closer and gently settling on top of the covers next to him. Running my hand through his hair, I watched him sleep a little while before I succumbed to the weight of my eyelids and drifted off.
Tomorrow would be a better day.
Fuck.
It had to be.
Chapter Forty
Ling He slept as soundly as he could under the stressful circumstances I’d put him in, and I couldn’t have been prouder. Even though his brow was marred, he looked positively angelic. I smiled gently at this strong little boy and wondered how long it would take for him to finally warm to me. I wasn’t sure. It could be days, or months, or years. It didn’t matter. Once he saw my intentions weren’t to hurt him, he would succumb to me.
He would have to.
I had no need for him otherwise.
“Good morning, sweetie,” I uttered softly from his bedside.
His little body went rigid and my smile increased.
He was a weary little thing.
And when he opened his lids and peered up at me through sleep-glazed eyes, he stared at me a long moment before looking around the room. I saw the exact moment he realized what happened the day prior wasn’t a dream, and when it hit him, his lips parted and his sweet little face fell hard.
I clicked my tongue and sat down on the edge of the bed. “No crying, sweetie. Come now.” I held out my arms to him, but he didn’t come. Grinning, I let my arms drop. “Okay. You’re not a hugger. I get it. That’s okay.”
That was when he opened his mouth, and asked a quiet, “Where’s my mummy?”
Hmmm. Dilemmas.
The little dude seemed to be reluctant to let go of his whore of a mother.
That was okay. I could fix that.