Also... nope.
I slipped on my pajama pants and threw on a sweater, all the while begging, “Please, Twitch. I don’t need this right now. And I definitely don’t need him getting his hopes up. He’s already acting out some. I don’t want that to increase when he realizes Daddy isn’t moving in.”
Twitch’s brows lowered and the words came out unhurried. “Daddy isn’t moving in?”
Hard knocking, then a sweet little, “Mummy, I need to go!”
“Coming,” I yelled out, before whisper-hissing to the giant baby in the bed, “No! Daddy is most certainly not moving in!” I scoffed. “We screwed and it was great, Tony, but that’s all it was.”
Lies. But he didn’t need to know that.
He looked kind of injured when he slid out of bed, thin-lipped and moping. “Fine. I’ll go. But...” His naked body was so gorgeously distracting. “This isn’t over, angel.”
I left him dressing in the bedroom, closing the door, as I rushed down the hall and swung open the door. The little monster dropped his bag at the door and hurried past me. “I need to pee!” And when Julius and Ana watched me suspiciously, I stuttered through my lame explanation. “Hey, I’m really sorry about that. There was this huge roach in my bedroom and he—” Fuck. “I mean it just wouldn’t let me out of my room.” I forced out a laugh. “I was kind of cornered.” Slapping a hand onto my shoulder, I smiled a little too widely. “Sorry.”
But Julius narrowed his eyes at me. “A roach, huh?” He scratched at his nose. “Yeah, they sure make ‘em big these days.” His eyes trailed to the side of the house just as Twitch stepped into view, and I fucking died a thousand deaths.
My senseless late night guest just walked across the yard, smirking like the fool he was, pulling on his tee, and then he calling out, “Mornin’, all.”
Julius laughed under his breath, shaking his head before turning to me, his eyes smiling. “Yep. Definitely a roach problem goin’ around.”
I was mortified. My cheeks blazed fluorescent pink, and when Ana leaned in close, looking at my throat, her eyes widened. Her words were whisper-soft. “Is that a hickey?”
A gasp left me as I slapped a hand onto my neck, and croaked, “No!”
Ana’s eyes smiled and she nodded slowly.
Oh my God. He gave me a hickey. How old was he, seventeen?
My mood darkened. I should have known. He always did like to make undisputed claims.
“Asshole,” I muttered then sighed, irritated. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on in.”
As soon as I walked down the hall, A.J. rushed me, throwing himself into my arms, and I laughed, lifting him. “Hey, you. Did you have a good time?”
He nodded, grinning. “It was so much fun! Ana made popcorn and we watched—” He held up three tiny fingers. “—three movies. I got to stay up late. And Uncle Julius made me breakfast this morning and I want to sleepover again.”
I chuckled softly. “Sure, buddy, but not for a while.”
His face fell. “Aw, why?”
I squeezed him tightly. “Because I missed you. I love when you’re home with me.” I pulled back, running a hand through his neatly trimmed hair. “I always miss you when you’re gone.”
He smiled a toothy grin a second before his brow knitted, just like his father’s. “Why was Daddy walking around the house this morning?”
My gut sank.
Oh, fuck my life.
“He was...” Ah, shit. I couldn’t think. My palms were sweating. “He was checking for spiders.”
“Oh,” said A.J., as if he completely understood.
Whelp, if he did understand, I was hoping he’d explain it to me because I had no freaking idea what I was talking about.
Julius choked on a laugh. “Real pest problem in this house.”
I scowled at his smirking face. “It would seem so.”
A.J. was completely oblivious to any and all innuendo his uncle Julius was giving off. “Can I please watch TV now?”
Oh, God, yes. “Sure, honey. Go for it.”
When my child was out of sight, I turned back to my so-called friends and watched as they grinned widely in my direction. With a grunt, I walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on. As I did, a small smile pulled at my lips. “Oh, shut up.”
Later that day, after I’d showered and covered the small hickey on my neck, I went to the store, leaving A.J. in Molly’s care. When I returned, it was no surprise that Twitch was on my living room floor, playing Guess Who with his son.
“Hi,” I called out as I walked the hall with a grocery bag in each hand.
“Hi, Mummy,” said A.J., looking down at the game.
Twitch jerked his chin toward me. “Need a hand?”
I smiled politely. “I’m good.”
While I unpacked the groceries, I heard Twitch speak to his son. “Bud, I need to talk to your mom a second. Why don’t you go find Molly?”
Just as he walked into the kitchen, I popped the pills into my mouth and sipped some water, swallowing them down. He looked down at the packet. That was fine; I wasn’t hiding it. Not from him.
He held the box up. “What’s this?”
I shrugged lightly. “Plan B.” His brow furrowed, so I went on, “Emergency contraceptive.” His brow pulled even lower, and I uttered quietly, “I’m not on birth control, Tony, and you...” How did he phrase it? “...made a deposit. This’ll make sure a baby isn’t conceived.”
His face turned impassive as he processed what I was saying. “So,” he started, “no more babies?”
It was a question asked in a way that implied he assumed we wanted more children.
My heart stopped, then started again with a jolt.
I asked the question cautiously. “You want more babies?”
Twitch twisted to look into the family room where A.J. was now battling Molly in a game of Guess Who. What he said made me melt. “Look at him. Look how perfect he is.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I could have another ten of those, at the very least.” He twisted back to me. “We’re not gettin’ any younger, baby. This might be our only opportunity.”
I liked the sound of that so much that it made me irrationally angry. And because I was angry, I needed someone to take it out on. “Well, yeah, Twitch. I’d love more kids, but I’m not prepared to do it alone.” My mouth pulled down into a frown. “I don’t even know how I got through it the first time around. Everything was a blur. I was mourning and medicated, and I was in no state to have that beautiful boy.” My heart began to race. “I was in such a bad state that I was robbed of my own wishes. I couldn’t give birth naturally because I was too weak, mentally and physically. I couldn’t breastfeed because my milk supply never came in. I wanted those things—” I scowled at him. “—and you took them from me.”
His jaw steeled. He didn’t speak.
“So, what?” I asked. “What’s the plan? You’re just going to come back every five years and impregnate me? Is that it?” My heart was racing. “Miss out on all the hard stuff and come back to enjoy your children when they’re fun?” I shook my head. “Like I said, yeah, I wanted more children, and maybe some day I’ll have them.” I shouldn’t have said what I did. “But not with you.”
Molly, feeling the tension in the kitchen, stood and said to A.J., “Little dude, come see the bird’s nest I found.” The little monster followed her into the backyard, leaving me alone with the man who broke my heart.
Twitch looked tired. “What the fuck do I have to do to convince you I’m not going anywhere?” He took a step closer, his eyes imploring. “Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.”
I shook my head slowly. “No, you don’t get to do that.” My eyes settled on his. “You don’t get to be upset when the person who would have given her goddamn life for you no longer trusts you. You’re at fault here, not me.”