Looking down into his face, I watched him as he watched me, and being with him, right here on my back porch, felt so right that I frowned, disappointed in myself.
That was the problem, I guess. When you looked at somebody through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags? They were just... well... flags. Unassuming. Safe.
But I knew better.
Running my hands through his too-long hair, I tightened my grip in it, pulling back, forcing his head up and loving the way his lip curled in discomfort. I brought my face close to his, slowly, meaningfully, and when our lips were only a hair’s breadth away, I spoke quietly. “You need a haircut.”
Releasing him quickly, I stood and moved toward the sliding door, stopping only when he uttered a perplexed sounding, “That’s it? That’s all you have to say to me?”
I pursed my lips in thought, tilting my head slightly, and then nodded. “Yep.”
My eyes met his as I locked the door and switched off the kitchen light, leaving him awash in darkness. And to say I was proud of myself was a huge understatement.
Yes.
I was stronger than I gave myself credit.
***
Twitch
A surprised laugh left me as I sat alone on the porch in the dark.
I adjusted myself in my pants and my lip twitched.
She made me crazy. All I wanted to do was hunt her down, bend her over, and drive home, pumping into her sweet pussy until I unloaded inside her.
But I would wait. And that wait would make it all the more sweet.
Chapter Eighteen
Ling
The Cross was having a good night. Music blared as I watched from the closed off balcony, and the second I saw him, my brows lowered.
The fuck was he doing here?
I peered around him, on the lookout. He was alone or, at least, it seemed like he was. Making my way down, I kept my eyes open, anticipating the attack I assumed was coming. But when I saw him sitting alone at the bar, curiosity moved me forward.
My guys were close, watching but keeping their distance, and when one of them stepped forward, I shot him a hard stare. He backed off immediately, and I made my way over, standing behind him, uttering, “What are you doing here, Az?”
He unfolded his long body when he stood. His eyes smiled, and I wanted to gouge them out. “I missed you.”
Fuck him. “You need to leave,” I said firmly. “You’re not welcome here.”
Aslan took a step closer but stilled when I pulled out my gun, aiming it down at his cock. He put his hands up in surrender. “I just came to see how things were going. I know you got a shipment coming. Came to see if you wanted to bury the hatchet. I could help you, Ling.”
He took another step and my stomach ached. He was encroaching, and I didn’t want to hurt him, but I would if I needed to. “Back off, Az.”
“No,” was all he said as he took another small step into me. One more step and we’d be flush against each other.
He was trespassing, violating a code, and my men knew this. I could feel their eyes on me, gauging my next move. Would I allow Aslan Sadik to come into my home and disrespect me in the way he was?
No, I would not.
I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to do what I did, but I would make an example of my beautiful Turk.
Aiming to the left, I pulled the trigger, and the shot rang out over the music. Aslan’s entire body jerked and, putting a hand to his side, he let out a shocked laugh. “You shot me.” He lifted his hand to peer down at the red wetness there, and he panted, “You fucking shot me.” His wide eyes met mine, and as they did, his lip twitched. “You crazy bitch.”
Oh, please. It was a flesh wound. If I wanted him dead, he would be, and he knew that.
One of my men came forward, gun aimed at Aslan, and I stepped back, away from a married man I couldn’t have. “Escort Mr. Sadik to his men. If they cause trouble—” I turned and began to walk away. “—paint the town red.”
As I sat alone in the city apartment with my head in my hands, I couldn’t seem to control my rapidly beating heart. I hadn’t cried in years, not since Twitch died, and if I still had the ability to I was sure I would have. But I had long since dried up.
When the front door opened, I sighed in relief. Something told me he would come, and the moment he stepped into view, shaking his head at me, I smiled sadly.
Az moved to put his hands on his hips, but when he touched his wound, he grimaced then glared at me. “I can’t believe you shot me.”
“You asked for it,” I returned because he deserved what he got and was lucky I didn’t aim to kill.
“You crazy bitch,” he said once more, crossing the room. Before he made it to me, I stood, waiting. The moment he was close enough, he slid his arms around my waist and lowered his face to mine, pressing soft kisses to my lips, and I loved how he made me feel tipsy. His aftershave smelt so good I wanted to lick a line from his neck all the way down to his cock. I put my hands to his chest, liking the way he made me feel so small. He made a sound low in his throat then spoke between kisses. “My crazy bitch.”
I closed my eyes, pressing myself into him. “I didn’t want to.”
“I know,” he said. “I could see you didn’t. I’m sorry for pushing. I just,” he sighed, “really fucking missed you, baby.” His eyes bore into me. “Tell me you love me.”
No.
I shook my head, my eyes sad. He couldn’t ask that of me. I couldn’t give him that. He wasn’t mine. He never would be. We were stupid for attempting something that could never be, but I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted this man. I loved him more than was wise.
So I pushed. Running my nails down his chest, I looked up into his eyes, and muttered, “Come to bed with me.”
I wasn’t expecting the response I got.
“Okay,” he replied, and when he smiled that billion-dollar smile, I couldn’t help but return it. God, he was everything. He couldn’t separate himself from me long enough to walk the short distance, and I laughed as we stumbled into the bedroom, smiling into this beautiful man’s kisses. Deft fingers unzipped my dress, and when it slid to the ground, I stepped out of it, making the brief walk over to the bed and climbing onto it with a grin. Once I assumed the position—on all fours with my ass in the air, head down into the covers, and my hands behind my back submissively—I breathed out, “Fuck me, baby.”
A long while passed, and when I realized he hadn’t moved, I sat up, looking back at him over my shoulder. I saw him gazing up at the ceiling, wearing an expression of pure frustration.
My heart sank. “What’s wrong?”
He averted his gaze. “This wasn’t what I had in mind.” His lips thinned. “I don’t want this.”
Pride had me grating on the inside. “You don’t want me?”
“I do,” he assured me. “More than anything. But not like this, Ling.” His eyes showed his unhappiness. “Not like this.”
What? How were we meant to fuck then?
I sat on the edge of the bed in my underwear and looked at him, puzzled. “We can do it however you want, Az. How do you want me? Handcuffed? Tied up? Blindfolded? I got a school uniform somewhere around here. I can call you Daddy. What’s your pleasure?” When he closed his eyes tightly and let out a curse, I started to get pissed. “I need you to talk to me, baby. What’s happening here? Because I’m pretty fucking confused.” My brows knitted. “I thought you wanted this.”