Doctor Parker enters the apartment, looking awkward and out of place. Having Troy stand over her likely doesn't help. I fake a smile for Doctor Parker as she sits on a chair across from me. She fakes one in return. Troy watches us both, and I sense he's angry about her being here.
"I'll be the security room if you need me," he says in a hard voice.
I wait for him to shut the door before I return my gaze to Doctor Parker. Her thin blonde hair is partially back, and she's wearing a lot of black eyeliner. I never notice her appearance before while I was hiding behind my hair. Now I wonder if the heavy makeup is a sign of her insecurity.
"You look different," she says, stating the obvious.
"Shelley helped me find clothes that keep me covered."
"What triggered your decision to leave the sweats?"
"Triggered?"
"You could have found other clothes before. I recall Shelley wanting to take you shopping weeks ago. Why did you agree this time?"
Wrapping my arms around myself, I shrug. "Troy, I guess."
"Did he ask you to change your appearance?"
"No. I want to look better because I like him."
When Doctor Parker writes something in my file, my temper boils. How dare she judge me?
"Goals are what make people work harder," I mutter. "Me working to get past what Locke did isn't so different than someone working out so they can fit in a special dress for a wedding or a high school reunion. I want Troy's attentions, so I dressed in a way that would appeal to him. Goals are good, right?"
I add a lot of heat to the last word. Doctor Parker's face freezes into a blank stare while she works out a response. Finally, she nods.
"Tell me about Troy."
Defensive immediately, I shrug again. "He's a good man who treats me well."
"Has he ever been married?"
Frowning, I realize I don't actually know the answer to this question. I assume he hasn't been because he never mentioned anything. What if he married a woman on a lark or in a drunken stupor? Would he have mentioned something so embarrassing? Probably not but I'd never actually asked him.
"No," I finally say.
"Any children?"
"No," I say much quicker, knowing Troy would have mentioned kids.
"Has he always worked security?"
"What does it matter?"
"I'm curious about the man who inspired such changes in you."
I hate the way her eyes dissect me. My first instinct is to look away and hide from her. I also consider telling her whatever she wants to hear. I decide honesty is more empowering.
"I don't know how long I'll be alive. With Troy, I know I'll enjoy whatever time is left."
Frowning, Doctor Parker immediately scribbles in the file again. I narrow my eyes and think of how comfortable her life must be. She's soft just like I was before Locke. I enjoyed a safe, happy life and wouldn't know what to do with someone like me either. Even messed up, I'm stronger than I was before Locke stole me away. This realization comforts me.
"The first Rose killed herself, but I don't think the others did," I say, leaning back and crossing my arms. "Locke said he loved his Rose the best he could, but she wasn't right and left him. So he had to find her again. His babble meant once a Rose failed his rules that he murdered her and found a new girl. He would have done the same to me eventually."
"Then it's even more of a gift that you escaped."
"If Locke can't bring me back, he'll have me killed. Right now, his people fail because they're trying to take me alive. Once he realizes he can't beat Troy and the security team, he'll have someone shoot me while I'm out somewhere. I doubt the security team can protect me beyond hiding me forever."
"They could find Locke and inform the authorities."
"That's my hope, but I'm not clinging to it. If I only have a short time left, I plan to enjoy it with my sister, niece and nephew, new friends, and a hot boyfriend."
Doctor Parker is uncomfortable with this line of conversation. I see it in her eyes. I also notice she doesn't like when I make eye contact for too long. With her, I have power. Relishing it, I refuse to look away.
"Have you been taking your medications?"
"Yes. If I weren't taking them, I wouldn't keep having these visits with you."
Doctor Parker frowns. "Do you not enjoy our visits?"
"No, and I don't think you do either."
"Why do you think this?"
"Are you asking why I don't like you or why I think you don't like me?"
"I'm curious about both reasons actually."
Nodding, I adjust in the chair. "Can I ask if you ever worked for a low-cost clinic or with addicts?"
Doctor Parker gives me a weird look. "I started my career working with families involved in Child Services cases."
Realizing I'm right about her, I gain the courage to challenge her with my real thoughts. No more pretending life is all about happy choices.