“Thank you, Tess,” I tell her, and it sounds lame to my ears. I owe her more. Hell, I owe her the world.
Tess draws her legs against her chest and wraps her arms around them. She looks so small and defenseless sitting there.
“Pa!” Maddy yells out with some more baby gibberish that no one really can understand. She’s jumping and stretching trying to get free from my hold, and there’s only one reason. Marcum. I resent the way she obviously loves him. The way she clearly chooses him over me, and I feel like a fucking loser for feeling that way, for being jealous. Of course she wants to go to him, she knows him. I’m just a man from a picture. That will change now though. I have time now. I have all the time in the world. As my eyes lock on Tess, I vow not to waste it.
Maddy stumbles into Marcum’s waiting hands.
“There’s papaw’s baby!” He says, picking her up and putting her on his hip like an old pro. Then again, with as many kids as he has, he is a pro. “I thought I’d come down and get my baby and give you two, time to talk.”
“Thanks, old man,” I don’t really want to let Maddy go, but I do need time to talk to Tess—a lot of time if the look of fear on Tess’s face is anything to go by. Marcum heads back to the house talking to the baby while she chants nonsense back to him.
I stand up and turn to Tess. She’s standing and brushing sand off her jeans. She’s gained a little weight over the last year. It looks good on her. She’s just as breathtaking as she always was, but I see signs of the stress from the last year on her face. She has circles and the light in her eyes isn’t quite as bright. Guilt hits me hard. Tess deserves so much in life. Much more than the hell that I’ve put her through.
“I think they’re clean,” I tell her when it becomes apparent that she’s going to keep dusting imaginary sand off of her pants instead of dealing with me. When she raises her eyes up to mine and slowly straightens up, she offers me a weak smile.
“I think I’m nervous,” she whispers.
“I am too. It’s been a hell of a day,” I understate, using the back of my hand to dry any remaining moisture from my eyes and try to put order to my chaotic thoughts.
“Yeah. I’m finding it hard to believe you’re standing here.”
“So am I, Kitten. So am I.”
A look flashes over her face, and I instantly want to smooth it away.
“What?”
“I’d forgotten how much I used to like when you called me Kitten.”
I clear my throat again. Hell, if I cry again she’s going to think I’ve grown weak in the last year. “I want to hold you; I’m just not sure what you’re okay with that, Tess.”
“Truthfully, I’m not sure either. It’s been a long time, Max and the last time I saw you…”
“I know.”
“We have a lot to work out,” she says, and that final hope I had of her falling into my arms and everything being okay, dies.
“Do you want me to stay in my old house, until…I mean, if you need time…”
“No. I don’t want that. Maddy needs you around. I want her to be used to having you here…”
Not exactly what a man wants to hear from the woman he loves, but I guess at least she’s letting me stay. I’ll have to use that to my advantage. She looks away from me, out over the ocean. She looks so lost in thought. Is she wishing I would leave? What’s going on in her head?
“Tess, if you don’t want me to stay here. I can leave after I visit with Maddy. I’d understand.” Even as I make the offer, inside I’m screaming no.
She turns back around to face me. Her lips are curled in, and she’s gnawing gently on the inside of her cheek. It’s cute, but heartbreaking because it speaks louder than words of how uncomfortable she is around me now.
“I want you here, Max. I want you with me.”
I still see fear in her eyes, but for now, the words are enough. I reach out my hand to her and after a moment of hesitation, she places hers in it. Her touch is warm. Her hand in mine feels right.
“Let’s go and watch our daughter blow out her candles,” I tell her giving her hand a squeeze. She smiles, and I can’t resist kissing her forehead much like I did our daughter earlier. Then, we walk, hand in hand, back to the party.
Epilogue
Tessa
One week later