There's no way he could have known that I ran into Wolf when I went to the store to buy May a candy necklace. They were my favorite treat when I was a kid and I wanted to surprise her by taking one to their apartment. I had no idea Wolf's sister owns the store and he'd be there helping her out.
"You should have just told him on the spot why you were with Wolf." She bobs her foot up and down. "I don't understand why you didn't."
"May was standing right there." I sit on the edge of the bed. "I couldn't talk about it in front of her. It's a heavy topic. She's just a little girl."
"I forgot about the daughter." She scrunches her nose. "You were right to hold back, Bean. He was wrong to assume that you're boning Wolf."
"We were holding hands." I hold up both my hands in mock defense. "I know you're going to say that it's not an excuse for the way he's treating me. I agree completely but he thinks it means more than it does."
"It means that a kind man was consoling you. That's all it means." She cuts her hand through the air like a knife. "Nolan walked into that store at the exact second Wolf was comforting you. If his ego got knocked out of whack because of that, it's his problem."
"I thought about explaining things in a text or an email but I want to tell Nolan in person. I'm not wrong for doing that, am I?"
"It's not the kind of thing you just throw in a text, Bean." She half-shrugs. "You're not wrong for wanting to do it in person. I'm with you on that."
"What would you do if you were me?" I lay on my back next to her. "Seriously, Ad. Don't say what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you would do if you loved a man and he was ignoring you."
"You love him?" She rolls on her stomach. "Did you say you love him, Ellie?"
"Yes." I turn to look at her face. "He loves me too. He said it."
"Well, shit." She stiffens. "This changes everything."
"How does it change everything?"
"You fight for love." She smashes her fist into the blanket. "You defend it at all costs."
I look up at the ceiling. "How do you fight for something you're not even sure the other person understands?"
"You lost me."
I trace the outline of the light fixture with my eyes. "What if the person you want to fight for doesn't understand what love is? If you love someone, do you ignore them? Is that what love is?"
She rests her head against her hand. "I know this feels like what Tad did to you all over again, Ellie. I don't know Nolan very well, but he's a hell of a lot better than Tad."
I thought so too until a day passed and he hadn't returned any of my calls. Then another day passed and by yesterday I started to feel everything I felt when Tad stopped talking to me.
"When I called Nolan's assistant this afternoon, I promised myself it was the last time." I reach for my phone. "I'm not going to crawl after him forever. I tried. If he thinks I'm capable of cheating on him, maybe he's not the man for me."
"Maybe we need to turn our phones off and take a sick day tomorrow."
"I have an interview with the NYPD tomorrow," I point out.
"That's in the morning." She pops up to her knees. "Tomorrow afternoon the two of us are taking the train to Boston for the weekend."
"You want to go away for the entire weekend?" I stare at her. We haven't been to Boston together in years. "You can just leave work for two whole days?"
"I'm not on call this weekend." She palms her phone. "Dr. Hunt hasn't even asked for my number yet. I mean for his personal use. He has it if he needs me to hold down a dog while he cleans out its ears."
"Romance has to start somewhere, Ad."
"Maybe in Boston?" She looks around my room. "Pack some bikinis, Bean. We are hitting Beantown tomorrow afternoon."
"We don't need bikinis to go to Boston." I scoot to my feet. "I'm not walking the streets in next to nothing."
"You wouldn't get one complaint."
"You're ridiculous." I slap her shoulder. "You're also the best. This weekend will be fun, right?"
"This weekend will be bananas and I'm not talking the kind that monkeys like."
Monkeys.
I look across my room to where I'd pinned the picture May drew for me to the wall. It's her, Nolan, a monkey and me. As much as I wanted that to me my life just a few days ago, I can't have it. What I can have is time away with my best friend in Boston.
Chapter 50
Nolan
"Can I help you?" That sounded about as civil as it's going to considering who I said it to.
"I'm looking for Ellie Madden." He scans the area behind me where a group of women has gathered around a new lipstick display. "She works here, right?"
"Who's asking?" It's an empty question. I know who he is. Tad Darling in all his fucked up, suntanned skin, blond haired, bastard glory is standing in front of me.
He gives me a once over, his eye catching on my wrist. "You rocking a Rolex, man?"
He's not. I take some perverse pleasure in that. "I am."
"Nice." He leans in close. Too close. I can feel his breath on my bare forearm. "You work here?"
"I own the place."