"Nolan," Ellie says my name softly as she stands. "Can I speak to you outside for a second?"
"No." I turn and look her in the eye. I see something there. It might be sadness or regret. It's definitely not guilt. "I'm spending the day with my daughter. If you have something to say to me, you can make an appointment with my assistant this week."
"You're serious?"
"Dead serious," I pull both words across my tongue slowly with an edge of anger. "Eda will handle any further correspondence between us."
"You're jumping to conclusions that are wrong." Her bottom lip quivers. "You have to know that. You must feel it."
"I want some candy hearts, Daddy." May tugs at my hand. "Let's get them before the little hand is at the two."
"I feel nothing." I pivot toward the line of people waiting to place an order. There's a burning pain in the center of my chest. "Let's go, May."
I don't turn back when I hear her tell Wolf she has to go. I keep my composure when she brushes past me as she heads out of the store. I do everything I can to smile when May tells me that today is the best day ever. It's not. It's one of the worst days of my life.
***
"Miss Madden called again to ask for an appointment to speak with you, sir." Eda stands in the doorway to my office. "Do you want me to continue to tell her that your schedule is full?"
"Yes." I look up from my desk. "I don't want to see her or speak to her."
"She's been up here three times today, Mr. Black." She pulls the pencil from behind her ear and twirls it between her fingers. "She can see right in here. She knows you're sitting in your office doing nothing."
"I'm working, Eda."
"You're staring into space." She taps the pencil on the edge of the doorjamb. "You're also wearing a monkey earring, sir."
I reach up and yank the earring from my lobe. "Thank you for pointing that out."
She rubs her hand over her face before cupping her chin. "Can I say something?"
"I'm not going to stop you."
"I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I do know that Miss Madden wants a chance to fix it."
"Some things can't be fixed."
"What happened, sir? I realize that this steps outside the boundary of boss and assistant but I have a strong shoulder. I've counseled four daughters through the ups and downs of relationships."
I'm tempted to tell her. I've been avoiding everyone but May for four days. I dodged Crew's questions by telling him that I'm focused on the spring product line. I cut a phone call with my mom short when I told her that May needed me to read a story to her even though my daughter was fast asleep. I can't talk about it because it pisses me off. I gave her a part of me and she fucking threw it back in my face.
"I don't want to discuss it. Miss Madden made a choice. This is the result."
She takes a measured step closer to my desk. "You also made a choice when you started a relationship with her. Ending it with silence is brutal. Mr. Miller is doing that to me now."
"Miller is ghosting you?"
"Like Casper, sir."
"Get him in here so I can fire his ass."
"I just told you he's not accepting my calls or text messages, Mr. Black. How can I get him to come to see you?"
"Good point. I'm ignoring her because I don't know what to say to her, Eda." I don't. I don't want what I have with Ellie it to be over. I also don't want to give my heart to a woman who is spreading her love around.
"Anything you say is better than not saying a word." She shoves the pencil back behind her ear. "Trust me on that."
She may be right but I know there's nothing I could say or Ellie could do to change what I saw on Sunday afternoon.
Chapter 49
Ellie
"Four fucking days." I throw my phone on my bed. "What a complete ass. He's an ass, isn't he?"
"An asshole." Adley twirls her finger in the air. "You forgot the hole at the end of ass. He's an asshole."
He's not; not really. He's hurt. He saw something on Sunday and jumped to a conclusion that resulted in him diving inside a cocoon to protect his heart. Logically, I know that. Emotionally, I'm pissed as hell at him for ignoring me all week.
"His assistant told me he was busy and I could see him not ten feet away in his office counting the tiles on the ceiling."
"I wouldn't do it, Bean." She plops herself on her back on my bed, narrowly missing my phone. "I would tell the jerk to go to hell, and I'd move on."
I wish it were that easy. He told me he loved me and I felt the same thing. I didn't say it and I doubt it would matter at this point whether I did or not.
He saw me in a candy store holding hands with Wolf when I told him I was spending the day at home. I passed on time with him and May. He has to be thinking about all of that.