Pushing Perfect

“What bad stuff?” I asked.

She took a sip of her coffee. “He was doing great, and then he threw it all away. He had a problem, though. It wasn’t just about poker for him. He gambled on everything, and not all of it was legal. He spent some time in jail, and other than some money he’d socked away overseas, he lost everything. Including this family. My parents totally cut him off, and I never see him anymore.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“Yeah, it sucks. We email sometimes, but if my parents found out I was in touch with him they’d kill me. And if they found out about the poker, they’d cut me off too.”

I didn’t want her to get mad at me, but I had to ask. “Why do you keep playing, then?”

“Because it’s the only thing I’m really good at. It’s the only thing I love. And I don’t have my uncle’s problems—I don’t gamble on anything else, and poker isn’t really gambling, anyway. My parents don’t understand that now, but I think someday I can make them see. I just have to wait until they’ve calmed down about my uncle.”

“How long has it been?”

“A couple of years,” she admitted. “They’re not getting over it quick.”

“I still can’t believe they’d cut you off, though. You guys are so close.”

“You only know their happy, everything’s-going-well-so-let’s-cook-dinner side. You haven’t seen what I will diplomatically call their other qualities. Let’s just say embarrassing the family is not on the agenda.”

I could relate. Back when my dad got kicked out of his start-up, he’d get in his car and leave at the same time he normally would every day, so no one would know he didn’t have anything else lined up yet. He’d rented a little office a couple of towns over to work on new projects, but he kept the same routine. And I heard Mom on the phone, talking to her friends or her parents, never mentioning any of the trouble she and Dad were having. Family problems stay within the family, they’d say. I wanted to note that their parents were also their family, but I didn’t think they’d appreciate it. “I know what you mean,” I said. “My parents can never find out about this.” It’s not that I thought they’d cut me off, but the weight of their disappointment would be more than I could bear. And them finding out was the best-case scenario, at this point—there was still the risk of the police. As far as I knew, Marbella High had never had a felon as valedictorian. I’d never get into college, either.

If this came out, my life was over. My heart started thumping away. So much for Novalert making things better.

“My parents can’t find out either,” she said. “But if it makes you feel better, I did what your Blocked Sender asked me to do, and it was over. I never heard from him again. If you do it, maybe that will be it.” She didn’t sound convinced, though.

“Maybe,” I said. “But I still have to figure out how to get more Novalert.”

“That part’s easy. Just ask Raj.”

“I told him it was just for the test, though.”

“Who cares? Besides, he’s so blinded by his crush on you, I’d bet he’d do anything to make you like him back.”

I wanted to tell her that wasn’t true, but last night had made me think that maybe she was right. “I don’t want to get him involved.”

“You’re assuming he isn’t already. If this Blocked Sender person is after you and me, who’s to say he’s not after other people, too?”

She had a point. “He’s never said anything about it to you, though, has he?”

She shook her head.

“Let me think about it,” I said. “I’m supposed to wait for instructions, anyway. I don’t want to do anything until I know what Blocked Sender actually wants me to do.”

“Fair enough,” she said.

“And besides, we’re acting like it’s a given that I’m going to do it. Did you just decide to do what he asked right away?”

Alex looked over at me, brows pulled together. “It never occurred to me not to. Not if it meant my parents would find out. Or the police. Blocked Sender never said who he’d tell, but none of the options were good.”

That was true. “Who would do this to me? To us?”

“Good question. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I haven’t been able to come up with anyone. I’ve kept the poker thing pretty quiet—a few friends know, but that’s it, and I can’t imagine anyone would tell.”

“I started making lists. But I got stuck too.”

“Can I see? If we talk through it, maybe I can think of something you didn’t.”

I got my notebook out of my bag. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

We started with the first category, the people who knew I was getting Novalert from Raj. “I think this list is probably longer than what you’ve got here,” Alex said. “If you include people who knew Raj was selling Novalert in general.”

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