And frankly, she didn’t know what to do with any of those things when it came to her future. She hated self-doubt, and normally would be able to squash it down in order to get on with the next step of her plans, but this was a little different. Her life had been completely uprooted, and yet it was mostly her doing. She’d been the one to ask for the mating mark from Malik, knowing it would change everything. She’d been the one so angry that he’d left, that she’d have done anything to keep him.
That might not have been the best motivation, but it wasn’t the only one. She wanted him, and now that she could feel the mating bond pulsate between the two of them, she wanted him even more.
Things had just moved a little too fast for her, and now her mind was trying to catch up with the decisions she’d made and the ramifications of those choices.
She ran a hand down her ink and sighed. If she were honest with herself, it wasn’t the mating or Pen that worried her. In fact, those two parts of her life were the most…steady. Even the idea that she would need to learn how to aid Malik in ruling the lions wasn’t as daunting as it should be. Maybe that was because she’d watched her friends rise to the occasion and she knew she wasn’t alone. It wouldn’t be easy, but Malik knew what he was doing, and she had to trust in that.
No, the thing that worried her lay on her skin as a brand of unknowing and fate. Malik had told her each feather represented a part of her past, her line’s history, her present, and perhaps even her future. Yet part of the brightly colored ink held her curse.
It told her how she could die and not rise from the ashes—not that she knew if she’d literally rise from the ashes like the phoenixes she’d read about in textbooks years ago. Malik didn’t know much about what blood ran in her veins because her kind were not only rare, but apparently so secretive it made them sound almost like myths to a group of people who were myths to humans.
It boggled her mind that she could be killed and yet come back again. Only something could end her life for all eternity. She just didn’t know what it was. She swallowed hard and tried to push back thoughts of death and fate, though now that she was a phoenix, she wasn’t sure she could ever untangle her thoughts from that.
“Are you ready to go, beauty?” Malik asked. She turned toward him at the sound of his voice and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him with Pen in his arms. He was such a big man, all muscles and strength, and yet he held their daughter as if she were a precious and fragile bundle of joy and hope.
Honestly, Penelope was all of that and more.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” she answered honestly. She moved toward them to run her finger over Pen’s cheek. Her baby blinked up at her and smiled. It was probably just gas, but Eliana didn’t care. Pen was her baby, her and Malik’s baby, and that meant she was the most perfect baby in all of the realms.
Not that she was biased or anything.
“We can wait, Eliana,” Malik said. “We don’t have to go today if you don’t want to. I’m sure we can find something to do here or even in the human realm instead of meeting the phoenixes.”
She shook her head. “We already gave word that we’d be going to their realm.” It was customary to do so, and frankly, she didn’t want to end up like some of the other lightning-struck and inadvertently start a war because she didn’t know any better. Some realms were a little…trickier than others. “Plus, there’s no point in hiding from who I am any longer. We only took as much time as we did because of the baby and your new duties. It took forever to arrange for you to leave as it is. Let’s just go, find out what can kill me, and come back so we can cuddle.”
She said the last part quickly, and Malik let out a breath before leaning forward and kissing her softly. She loved when he did that—just a quick kiss to remind her that she wasn’t alone. The fact that Pen laid between them gurgling adorably brought the fact home.
“We won’t be going alone,” Malik said suddenly. “I have my trusted people here in case my aunt and uncle try something during my absence, but I also want to make sure I have someone with us.”
Eliana frowned. “Will the other realm be okay with that?”
He nodded. “I mentioned it, and frankly, as the Leo, they’ll be expecting me to show up with a guard of some sort. Until we find out exactly what powers you have, if any, and train you to protect yourself, I don’t want you and Pen out and about without a guard.”
She scrunched her face. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
He cupped her face and sighed. “I don’t like the sound of you being hurt because I wasn’t there to protect you.”
She let out a sigh but didn’t say anything. He was right, and this was just another way that her life had changed dramatically since he’d first stepped into it.