These words were new, not lines she knew by rote like their vows, and she listened to them carefully as she stared back at Preston.
Respect, forgiveness, comfort, refuge, and love. Big words. Forever words that felt—if she was honest—just the slightest bit too big, and more than a little overwhelming. Elise repeated the words to herself, her heart thundering as the magnitude of today started sinking in. This wasn’t just a romantic adventure and these weren’t just lines in a play. This wasn’t a scene, it was a marriage between two consulting adults…and these words were vows, like the ones her parents had once traded. She had just legally and spiritually bound her life to Preston’s.
Looking for a safe harbor from the sudden storm of her thoughts, she focused on Preston’s eyes shining with love as he smiled down at her, and she knew in her bones that his commitment to her was absolute and strong. He was here for all of the right reasons. The question was…Was she?
She breathed deeply, willing away her jitters as the officiant continued.
“Just as two threads woven in opposite directions will form a most beautiful tapestry, so too can your two lives merged together make a beautiful marriage. To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today. It will take trust, to know in your hearts that you truly want the best for each other. It will take dedication, to stay open to one another and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both pledge today to share together.”
Holding onto Preston’s eyes like a lifeline, Elise saw every good quality commended to them shining back at her: love, trust, dedication, faith, and commitment. From the beginning, Preston had offered his love unconditionally to her, learned to trust her with her co-star, been dedicated to her happiness, had faith in her talent and showed a commitment to her comfort and care from the moment they started dating.
She dragged her bottom lip into her mouth, dropping her eyes to his chest. Was she able to offer the same to him?
Did she love him? Yes, she did, but she acknowledged that it was a new love, predated years by her love for the stage.
Did she trust him? In many ways, she did. She trusted him not to hurt her. She trusted that he cared deeply for her. But, if she was honest, she’d admit that she trusted herself more. She been her own guide, her own counsel, for years, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to turn over that trust, or any part of it, to someone else yet.
Could she be dedicated to him? Above all other men, yes. No problem. She didn’t want anyone else. But not above all other concerns. Her dedication to her career had shaped her entire adolescent and adult life. It was a driving factor in every decision she’d made since she was sixteen years old. Was it possible to shift that sort of dedication to her marriage just because they’d exchanged vows today?
Did she have faith in him? In them? No matter what the future had in store for them?
Her mind whirled and because she didn’t have answers, she stopped answering the questions as a heavy weight settled in her stomach. Preston squeezed her hands and she looked up, offering him a wobbly smile and swallowing over the lump in her throat.
For most of her life, she’d been so focused on one goal, she hadn’t left time for love. Honestly, she’d never seen him coming. He’d suddenly appeared in her life, fully formed, ready for love…and everything between them had moved so fast.
Had they moved too quickly? Were they ready to be married? More specifically, was she ready to be married? The judge’s words about “two threads woven in opposite directions” stuck and stuttered in her mind, making her feel uncomfortable.
They didn’t have very much in common. What if they not only moved in opposite directions, but were opposite threads? Or incompatible threads? What if they didn’t form “a most beautiful tapestry?” What if they had been swept away by love and romance, but hadn’t truly considered that marriage meant a merging of two lives into one life? Was she ready to merge her life? To make sacrifices for him? To trust and have faith and hand over some of the control she’d fought for so desperately in her life?
The officiant cleared his throat meaningfully, and Elise snapped her head up, her thoughts scattering as Preston squeezed her hands and grinned expectantly.
“In as much as Preston and Elise have this day consented together in the state of matrimony and have pledged their faith to each other, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Preston, you may kiss your bride.”
Pulling Elise into his arms, Preston searched her eyes for a long moment before whispering, “I love you, Mrs. Winslow,” and lowering his lips to hers.
Mrs. Winslow.