“You . . .” I frowned, confused. “Okay. What for?”
Cole moved closer, taking my hand in his. Surprised, I looked down at our linked hands. “I . . . I like you, Lia. I guess you probably know that.”
I stilled, blinking up at him, shocked by his words, shocked by the hesitation in his tone. I raised a brow. “Are you joking with me? I don’t know whether or not to take you seriously, Cole.”
He chuckled softly, running the hand that wasn’t holding mine through his thick, golden-brown hair. “That’s what I get for kidding around all the time.” His face turned serious and my breath caught. For a moment, he looked exactly like Preston and my heart jumped, responding instantly.
Cole stepped toward me, took my face in his hands, and brought his lips to mine. I froze, so surprised that I didn’t know how to react. His lips moved on mine, warm and soft, and I felt a tiny fluttering between my ribs. Cole moved in, pressing his hard body against me and I opened my mouth on a tiny gasp. He moved his tongue between my lips and groaned, and my eyes opened, watching as his expression turned slightly pained. I felt him harden against my hip and it shocked me, so I pulled back, our lips disconnecting with a wet pop.
I blinked at him, off balance after such an unexpected turn of events. “That was . . . nice.”
Cole laughed. “I’ll try not to let my ego get too bruised after that lukewarm review.” But his eyes sparkled with good humor. “Let me take you out, Lia. A movie on Sunday?”
A movie. In the dark. Of course. Still, it wasn’t like anyone else was asking me out on dates—in the dark or in the light. And though I liked to keep a certain distance between myself and the Sawyer boys, I also couldn’t deny the excitement I felt in my belly at the idea of going on a date, and of seeing a movie for the first time.
I bit at my lip, noticing the tenderness where he had pressed his mouth against mine. I had never thought of Cole in that way. Had never imagined he had feelings for me. I had only ever thought of Preston. But . . . if Preston had known his brother wanted to talk to me alone and had turned away of his own will, wasn’t it pretty lucky for me that the boy who was interested looked exactly like the one I pined for?
I frowned slightly, confused by my own thoughts, my own inner turmoil. I’d just experienced my very first kiss, moved outside those damn parameters, even if only for the breath of a moment. Wasn’t I supposed to be delirious with joy?
Still, before I answered, I wanted to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood the situation as far as Preston was concerned. I needed to know Preston didn’t . . . wouldn’t want me. Love me.
“Did . . . did Preston know you were going to ask me out?”
“Yeah.” He studied me for a moment, his brows coming together slightly. “He was fine with it if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He was fine with it.
I felt a dropping sensation inside as if something had fallen out from under me—something precious that I wanted to grab for but instinctively knew would slip through my fingers. I managed a nod. Preston didn’t want me. “We’ve just always hung out together, the three of us. I wanted . . . to make sure.”
He smiled. “Three’s a crowd.”
Was it? I’d never thought so.
“So what do you say?”
Maybe in my focus on Preston, I hadn’t allowed room for the feelings that might develop for Cole. Maybe . . . maybe I could love him the same way someday, if I opened my heart to the idea. Cole was fun and easy to be with, and we had some things in common that Preston and I didn’t. I only paused for a second before smiling back. “All right.”
Cole’s grin was big and bright. “Great.”
**********
I went to the movies with Cole that Sunday night and again three Sundays later and we kissed in the dark. I liked kissing him, liked the way he tasted and the way he made small moaning noises in the back of his throat. But I especially liked being held in his arms, loved the warm feeling of being embraced, of feeling cherished and protected for the first time in my life—even if only for a short time. He seemed to want to kiss continually, but I just wished he’d hold me.
I also loved the movies, loved the buttered popcorn Cole bought me and the way the story on the screen filled the whole room and took up my whole mind. The sounds bounced off the walls and made me feel like I was in another world. I tried not to appear too affected—I didn’t think it was very normal that a fifteen-year-old girl had never been to the movies, and I didn’t want Cole to know.
Afterward, I told him I was meeting my mama where she worked so we could go home together and had him drop me in front of the motel. He kissed me goodbye and I went up the outside stairs, ducking around the corner. When his truck had driven away, I went back down and walked home by myself, down the dirt roads and through the grassy fields, going over the scenes from the film we’d just watched and thinking about the way I’d felt part of the crowd, sitting in the theater holding Cole’s hand.
The school year was almost at an end and both Preston and Cole would be heading to college in the fall, and I knew my time with him would be coming to an end, too. It confused me that I wasn’t more upset by that knowledge, but I just wasn’t.
The boy I still longed for was Preston, and it weighed on my heart that kissing Cole had only intensified that yearning. I’d hoped it would lessen it. Even with my eyes closed in a darkened theater, I couldn’t pretend Cole was really his brother. And I couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt that Preston had seemed to completely withdraw, even in friendship.
One rainy Thursday at lunch, I was rushing to class, taking an alternate route so I wouldn’t get soaked, when I rounded a corner and almost collided with a group of people standing under an overhang.
Halting abruptly, I saw that it was Preston and Cole and three or four of their popular friends. Cole had been talking animatedly to the group who was laughing at whatever he’d been saying and his words halted at my sudden appearance.
My eyes darted around, landing on Preston. I tried not to let it show on my face how much I’d missed seeing him, though I’d seen his brother. Preston’s eyes widened slightly and his lips parted as if in surprise. I tried to stay away from them at school. I didn’t want to cause them any embarrassment, and I didn’t want them to be put in the uncomfortable position of including me with their friends when they might not want to. I forced myself to look away from Preston.