Follow me. Please.
He didn’t wait for an answer, just tugged on my hand and dragged me a few feet into the woods where the brush was so thick I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of me. Bo maneuvered through it with ease like he’d done it a thousand times.
He probably has.
Just as I was about to tell him that a hike in the woods probably wasn’t the best idea while Dre was probably going ape shit back at the house, Bo pushed back a curtain of branches over a huge tree stump in the ground with a big hole on the side where the wood had rotted out. Bo climbed through and waved for me to follow. I crouched down and crawled on the leaves following him into a five by five space in the trunk. Inside of it was a dirty Dallas Cowboys blanket. Coloring books that were stained and looked as if they’d been retrieved from the trash along with broken crayons.
“This is where you were?” I asked but it wasn’t really a question. I was sure that’s where Bo had run off to and where he’d probably ran off to for years when he was being abused by his cunt of a mother and the step daddy I wished was still alive so I could put another bullet in him and kill him all over again.
Yes.
I looked around at the little fort he’d created and my heart sank. I tried not to let it show on my face that I was breaking down inside, but when I saw the little pile of weapons stacked along the wall beside his blanket I damn near lost it. Butter knives, one half of a pair of scissors, a small gardening shovel, and a hand axe were stacked neatly. Nobody defended him, so Bo had decided he needed to defend himself.
“Bo,” I said, picking up the axe and inspecting it. “This place is a cool fort. Is this where you came when you lived with your old mommy? When you wanted to feel safe?”
Yes.
“You’re so super smart for making all this. You’re like a super hero and this is your lair. Move over batman,” I said. Bo smiled brightly. I cleared my throat. “But, buddy, do you understand that you live with Mommy and me now? You don’t need to come here anymore. You certainly don’t need this,” I said, setting down the axe, which had a surprisingly sharp blade.
Bo stared at me without saying or signing a thing. He hung his head and his shoulders drooped.
“I was just like you when I was a kid. Do you know that when I was your age that I had the same thing? A special place to go when things at home weren’t so good?”
Bo perked up.
“I mean, it wasn’t as cool as this. Just an abandoned dog house behind our trailer, but I did the same thing as you. I kept things in there I could use to hurt anyone who tried to hurt me because I didn’t have anyone to do that for me,” I started. “But you know what? You do have people who would protect you no matter what. You have Mommy and you have me. And nobody will ever hurt you. I would NEVER let anyone hurt you. Do you understand that, Bo?”
I saw Bo thinking and remembered how I felt at his age. Alone and abandoned. How I would feel if I suddenly found myself with a family who actually gave a shit and then I realized something. “Are you afraid that Mommy and Daddy will leave you or make you leave?”
Bo reluctantly nodded.
“Well, let me tell you something. This thing here?” I asked, motioning between Bo and me. “It’s permanent. Even if you wanted to you can’t change it. You’re my son. And in our family a son is a permanent thing. Forever and ever you’ll be stuck with us. We’ll always be here for you. Your place is with us.”
I like forever, Bo signed, but he still looked skeptical. How do I convince a six-year-old of my intentions when he’d been fucked over his entire life? And then it hit me.
“Okay, now I want to show you something but you can’t tell Mommy, okay?”
Bo squinted like he already didn’t think that was a good idea.
Smart kid.
I laughed. “No, it’s nothing bad, I promise. But I planned on showing her later on tonight as a surprise, but since you’re one of the men of the house now I figured I’d show you first. Would that be okay with you?”
Yes. Yes, he signed twice.
“Now did you know that these,” I pointed to the tattoos on my arms and hands, “are forever. These drawings will always be on me.” I pulled up my shirt and Bo eyed the white bandage covering one of the worst scarred areas on my abs. “They don’t wash off so they will never ever go away. They’re with me forever.”
I peeled back the tape and revealed the new tattoo underneath. Scars, vines, and hearts linked together two names. Bo & Dre. It was King’s best work ever.
“Remember how we were writing your name this week? Do you see your name?” I asked.
Bo enthusiastically pointed to his name. I smiled brighter instead of wincing when he jabbed the fresh ink with his little index finger.
“Yep, my man. That’s it.” I replaced the bandage and lowered my shirt. “And it’s there forever. So you’re not going anywhere, just like that tattoo isn’t going anywhere. You got it?”
Bo’s eyes widened when the realization set in. He launched himself at me, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I kissed the top of his head. “Now let’s get you home.”
Together we crawled out of his hideaway/weapon’s storage unit. I brushed the dirt from my pants and grabbed Bo’s hand. With his other hand he signed, pressing the tips of his fingers on the corner of his mouth and then again on his temple.
Home.
****
When I brought Bo back to the house, Dre ran out to meet us. She wasted no time reaching for him, lifting him up she hugged him so tight I was pretty sure she was cutting off his circulation. I almost wanted to laugh when he looked at me wide-eyed over her shoulder but I managed to contain myself. “Don’t ever do that again, okay?” she asked, looking him over. “Promise me, Bo. Don’t you ever leave without one of us, okay? We love you and if anything ever...” Dre stopped. “Just promise me.”
Bo nodded and signed, ‘I’m sorry,’ to her followed by ‘I promise.’
“Where did you go?” Dre asked. That’s when he looked to me like he didn’t know if he should tell her what he’d been up to. I didn’t want him to feel ashamed or embarrassed.
I pulled a bouquet of wild flowers I’d been hiding behind my back and handed them to her. “He went to pick you flowers,” I said. “Don’t be too hard on him. He wanted it to be a surprise. Right, buddy?”
“Awe, thank you, Bo,” Dre said, holding up the bouquet to her nose and inhaling deeply. “They’re beautiful, but you have to take someone with you next time,” she said. “Now go inside and wash up. I put your step stool next to the sink.”
Bo darted in through the sliding glass door as Dre and I looked on. He appeared again, this time through the kitchen window. Standing on the stool he washed his hands as he was told. He waved when he saw us looking, splattering soapy water from his hands onto the window.