He shakes his head, but his eyes are shiny with the memory of two years ago, when we thought we could escape. I’d been planning it for months—squirreling away money beneath the floorboards under my bed, mapping the fastest route out of the city, gathering supplies in two small packs until we were finally ready.
We left under cover of darkness—the fear clutched around my heart like a fist. My breath hitched at every shadow and Mani startled at every noise, but the farther we got, the more the seed of hope in my chest grew—expanding my rib cage and making it easier to breathe. We just had to make it to the Kinjal River and the edge of the city, where freedom waited for us.
Instead we found Gopal.
All my hope bled away and I scrambled for an explanation that would stay Gopal’s rage, but he didn’t ask for one. He reached us in three steps, yanked Mani from my arms and hauled him to the edge of the river.
“Stop!” I shouted, chasing after him. “Leave him alone.”
I grabbed Gopal’s arm and tried to wrench Mani away, but my strength was no match for his. He grabbed Mani by the hair and plunged his face into the water. Panic choked my throat.
“No, Gopal, please.” Mani’s small feet kicked in a frantic attempt for escape. I tried to reach for him, but Gopal kicked me hard in the stomach, sending me flying backward. He lifted Mani from the water, and the sight of my brother’s face sputtering and gasping for air broke something loose inside me.
“Please,” I begged. “Please, let him go.”
Gopal thrust Mani back into the water. “You know better than to try to leave me,” he said. Mani thrashed in Gopal’s grip.
“Yes,” I said. “I know better.” Mani’s movements were slowing and I was desperate. “Please, Gopal. I’m sorry.” Those were the magic words, and Gopal’s face broke into a wide smile.
“That’s a good girl,” he said. He lifted Mani from the water and tossed his body onto the shore. Mani was blue and lifeless. “Never again, rajakumari. I can find you anywhere. And next time the boy dies.” Gopal strode away without another word.
I knelt beside Mani and lowered my cheek to his nose, praying to feel his breath stir across my face, but there was nothing. His chest was motionless. If he didn’t get air soon, he was going to die. Without thinking, I lowered my mouth toward his and then, at the last moment, caught myself and pulled away, horrified. What was I thinking? My lungs were full of the air he needed, but I couldn’t give him any. I couldn’t try to save him without killing him. I put my hands against his breastbone and pressed with all my strength. “Please, Mani,” I said. “Please don’t die.” I pounded on his small chest until, finally, a huge amount of water gurgled from his mouth and he sucked in a lungful of air. I held him close to me and rocked him back and forth. “I’m so sorry,” I said over and over. “So, so sorry.”
Mani’s lungs were never the same, and I always wondered if things could have been different if only I’d been able to lend him my breath.
The memory sends a wave of nausea through me, and I bury my head in Mani’s hair and rock him back and forth as if the near drowning happened two minutes instead of two years ago. My hatred for Gopal burns in my stomach like an iron in flame. I have to do the impossible. I have to find a way to protect both Mani and Deven. And I have to do it without bringing Gopal’s wrath down on all of us.
It won’t be long before Gopal knows that I lied to him. I don’t know if Iyla is his only source of information, but surely whoever told Deven to buy The History of Sundari will know that he bought it, that he was in the bookshop. And that he’s still alive.
It’s only a matter of time before Gopal sends another visha kanya to finish the job. The thought of Deven dying sends my stomach spinning, but I don’t know how to protect him. Even if I tell him the truth, I can’t tell him who to avoid. I’ve never met the other girls. And he probably wouldn’t believe me even if I did tell him. Poison kisses sound like something out of folklore. He’ll think I’m crazy. I turn it over in my mind all night; it’s a problem with no solution. Except one.
He would be safe if I could make him immune.
And that requires a visit to Kadru.