I wrap her in my arms, heart squeezing. “Thank you.”
“I’m so grateful for you, Jennie.” She swipes discreetly at her eyes. “Okay, Carter. Time to let Auntie J have some baby loving.”
“What? But I’m not done! She’s just—” He hugs Ireland to his chest and frowns at Olivia, twisting away when she tries to take their daughter. “You can’t have her!”
“Carter, give me the baby.”
“No.”
“Carter.”
His brows knit so tightly with his scowl, scrunching his forehead. With a huff, he turns toward me. “You have to be careful.”
“I’ve already held her,” I remind him.
“Well, don’t forget.”
“I won’t forget.”
“Sit on the couch. I don’t want you trying to sit down when she’s already in your arms.”
I fight an eye roll and take a seat, reaching for her.
“Ah-ah,” he tsks. “I will put her in your arms.” He bends, then pulls back. “Tuck your necklace in your shirt so she doesn’t try to eat it.”
I tuck my necklace in my shirt in case my forty-eight-hour-old niece tries to eat it.
He leans in, then back again. “And don’t forget to support her head.”
“I will support her head.” I slowly slide my hand between his palm and the back of her head.
“And don’t—”
“For fuck’s sake, Carter, I know how to hold a damn baby!”
“Geez,” he mutters, gently shifting Ireland into my arms. “Someone’s testy.”
“I swear to God I will rip your balls off and you’ll never father another child again. Now shut up, sit down, or get out of my face.”
He sinks down beside me without another word, cowering from my stare like a scared little boy.
The warm bundle in my arms wiggles and coos, and I gaze down at the most perfect face in the entire universe. Big, hazy, gray-blue eyes stare back at me, framed by dark lashes, and hidden inside, barely noticeable, are tiny flecks of green. She’s going to have her daddy’s eyes.
I trace the bow of her little pink pout, the shape of her tiny nose, before laying my hand on her round, rosy cheek. “She’s perfect.”
Carter’s chin hits my shoulder. “Right?”
“You’re all Mama. Aren’t you, baby girl?”
Carter snorts. “Whatever. Watch this.” He strokes his finger down the side of her face. The corner of her mouth lifts, pulling a deep dimple into her cheek.
I gasp. “You’ve got your auntie’s dimples.”
“Our dimples.”
“Yes, you look so cute with your auntie’s dimples, don’t you, sweet Ireland?”
She blinks up at me, slow and unsure, and when her tiny fingers wrap around one of mine, I lose it. I lift her to my chest, cradling her against me as I close my eyes, breathing in her innocence.
“I love you so much, sweet girl. I’ll always be here for you; I promise.”
Carter’s heavy gaze watches me for a moment before he tentatively lays his hand on top of mine on Ireland’s back, the pressure gentle but firm, comforting.
An alarm sounds, and Olivia starts whipping her shirt off.
“Lunch time! You can get Mama undressed faster than I can, little pumpkin,” Carter coos, tapping her nose. “That’s impressive as fuck, baby girl.”
Olivia lets her shirt fall back into place. “You know what? I think we’ll go upstairs to eat. You two can have some alone time.”
I head into the kitchen when Olivia leaves me and Carter alone for the first time in over a week. I’m not hungry, but I open the pantry, pull out the birthday cake Oreos, twist three apart, layer the icing together until I’ve got one monster Oreo, and smash it between my teeth. I stare Carter directly in the eyes as I open the cupboard beneath the sink, step on the garbage pedal, and toss the remaining cookie pieces inside.
I’ve never seen him work so hard to control the twitch in his eye. There’s a vein in his neck that looks like it might burst if I poke it just right.
He clears his throat, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and ambles over.
“So…” He clicks a beat out through his pursed lips, head bobbing. “Thinking of changing my TikTok handle.”
“Oh yeah?” I check my nails. “To what?”
“WorldsHottestDILF.”
“But you’re already so iconic as TheTrophyHusband.”
He sighs. “It’s a tough choice.”
“What does Ollie think?”
He rolls his eyes. “She thinks I should change it to my actual name.”
“Ew. So unoriginal.”
“Right? She wasn’t made for the TikTok world.” He stops at the edge of the counter, tracing aimless patterns on the marble. “I missed you.”
I pin my arms over my chest. “You didn’t have to miss me. I was right here.”
“I was upset with you. Both of you.”
“That’s okay, but ghosting me for a week isn’t. That’s not how we solve problems in this family, Carter. Not you and me. We talk. We communicate.”
He hangs his head. “I know.”
“Do you, though? Because we’ve always had each other, and then suddenly you weren’t there, and it made me feel so alone. You’ve always been my biggest supporter, but instead you shut us both out, me and Garrett, and I felt like I’d lost you.
“But the worst part of all? For a second there, I didn’t know who I was without you by my side. I didn’t know who to be if it wasn’t your little sister. I told myself nobody would want me if we were no longer a package deal. I almost moved to Toronto because I convinced myself I was living in your shadow. But then I realized I’d never lived there. You’re my brother, but I’m not just your sister. The only thing keeping me in your shadow…was me.”
Carter’s gaze holds all the remorse of someone who’s had too much time to think about where he went wrong. “I’m sorry I shut you out. I’m sorry I made you feel alone. I’m sorry if I haven’t given you enough space to shine. You always shine in my eyes.”
“You do let me shine. And so does Garrett. He’s so patient with me, and so kind. He makes me feel like I can be whoever I want to be. He talks and he listens. I feel safe with him, Carter.”
“I feel like I’ve constantly failed you. I couldn’t keep your heart safe when Dad died. I couldn’t keep it safe in high school. I’m always…I’m always fucking worried, Jennie, that someone’s going to hurt you. This time, because I let my ego get in the way, it was me.” He takes my hand in his. “I’m supposed to protect you. I’m supposed to be the one you come to, the one you count on.”
“And you are. That won’t change. But I have to be able to take care of myself. Garrett helped me learn how to do that.”
“But…” He nibbles his lower lip. “I thought I was your best friend.”
“Oh, Carter.” I clasp his hand tightly, stepping closer. “You are, and you always will be. But Garrett is, too, like Olivia is for you. When I found Garrett, really found him…I felt so lucky, like I finally found what you and Olivia had, something I thought was never meant for me. Don’t you think I deserve to be loved the way you love Ollie?”
“You deserve the whole world, Jennie.”
“I feel like I have it with Garrett.”
He stares at me for a long moment. “He says he loves you.”
“He does.”
“Do you love him too?”
“So much.” I grin. “He punched Simon for me.”
His eyes light. “He did?”
“Twice.”
His chest puffs. “I woulda done it three times.”
“It’s not a competition,” I remind him gently.
He looks away, murmuring his next words. “I’m afraid you won’t need me anymore.”
My eyes sting, and I blink rapidly, trying to stop the tears before they can start. It’s no use. Damnit. Stupid fucking tears. I hate this.
Carter’s eyes widen, hands coming up in front of his face as he rocks and swivels in place, like he has no clue what to do. “Oh no. No, I didn’t mean to—no. Olivia! I made her cry!”