“I’m here! I’m here. Fuck, I’m here.”
Jennie slides into the room, breathless, hair in a knot on top of her head, drowning in my hoodie. Her gaze meets mine from across the room, and when she smiles, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.
“Auntie J, that’s one dollar for the swear j—”
Jeremy clamps his hand over Alannah’s mouth. “Not today, dude.”
Carter slowly rounds Olivia’s bed with their daughter in his arms, swaddled in sage green. “Hank, we want you to hold her first.”
Hank’s white brows jump. “Me? Really?”
“Really.”
His hands come up on either side of his head, shaking and flustered. “Well, okay then. Somebody find me a chair. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a baby, and this one’s extra precious.”
Adam helps Hank down to a seat, and Carter places his brand-new daughter in his arms, all seven pounds and eleven ounces of perfection.
Nothing but pride and love shine in Carter’s eyes as he brushes her cheek and murmurs, “Meet your pseudo-grandpa, sweet Ireland.”
Hank’s head whips up, Holly chokes on a sob, and Jennie swipes furiously at her cheeks.
Tears brew in Hank’s blue eyes as he whispers, “Ireland?”
“Ollie and I couldn’t imagine a more perfect name for our little miracle.”
Hank’s hand trembles as he skims it up the tiny bundle. The tip of his pointer finger stops at her tiny chin, and he cups her round cheek in his weathered hand. His chin quivers, and a tear drips from his lashes, landing on her blanket.
“You, sweet Ireland, are going to be the strongest, fiercest, most passionate and loved little girl.” He runs his palm down her, and her hand shoots up, the tiniest fingers wrapping around one of his. Another tear falls, then another, and Hank lifts his captured finger, laying her tiny palm on his cheek and closing his eyes.
I’m captivated when Jennie holds her niece, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. I think she just might be, rosy cheeks, a thick head of dark hair and matching lashes, a heart-shaped pout that Carter keeps leaning over and kissing every two minutes on the dot. I can’t look away, and I don’t want to.
“I hate to do this,” Emmett starts, “but we gotta head out. We’ve gotta get to the arena.” He lays his hand on Ireland’s belly. “I’m gonna hold the shit out of you in two days when we get home.”
Adam and Jaxon say their good-byes, but my feet don’t move as I watch Jennie.
“We gotta go, Gare.”
“Yeah, but I—”
“Garrett.
“Okay, I just wanna—”
“Now.”
A sound of frustration gurgles in my throat and I toss my head back, ball my fists, and definitely don’t stomp a foot.
Adam lifts an amused brow. “Did you really just stomp?”
“No,” I grumble, and with one last look in Jennie’s direction, I follow Adam, Emmett, and Jaxon into the hall.
“Stop being grouchy.” Jaxon flicks my temple. “She’s here, a whole day earlier than she was supposed to be, and she was smiling at you.”
“I just wanted to hug her,” I mumble.
“What?”
“I said I just wanted to hug her. She was right there and all I wanted to do was—oof!” A body collides with mine from behind, and heat sparks, spreading through me like fire as two arms wrap around my middle, holding me tight.
Jennie moves in front of me, covering my heart with one hand, the other cupping my face. “I wanted to hug you too.” She presses up on her toes and touches her lips to my cheek. “I missed you,” she whispers against my skin, and when she tries to pull back, I clutch her to my chest, burying my face in her hair. She smells the same, like warm vanilla sugar, cinnamon, and coffee, and I’m never letting go.
“Break it up, lovebirds,” Emmett calls. “We’ve gotta be at the arena in fifteen, and we’re twenty minutes away.”
Jennie smiles. “Good luck, big guy.” When she kisses my cheek once more, I know I’ve definitely died and gone to heaven.
We take our home game by two goals, one of them mine, and when we board the plane to San Jose, it’s nearly eleven at night.
An hour in, the plane is quiet and dark, aside from the glow of a few tablets and phones. Most of the team is sleeping, but through all my exhaustion, I’m wide awake.
Jennie’s home early, and I want to be home with her. I want to ask her about her interview. I want to know everything that’s going through her mind. I want to tell her I love her and support her, that I’m going to continue doing so no matter what she chooses.
I have to know. My thumbs have typed out the question over and over, only to delete it. I don’t want to pressure her, and I don’t know how much space she still needs, even if she hugged me like part of her was missing while she was away. Part of me was, anyway.
A light shines from my lap, drawing my attention away from the window, and my heart thuds at the sunshine on my screen.
Sunshine: Wanna play a game?
Me: What’s the game?
Sunshine: Toronto vs. Vancouver
An attachment follows.
Toronto:
Interesting sex shop on Cumberland St. Spent $$$
3 Sweet Jesus ice cream locations. Why did we close our only one?
Vancouver:
Garrett makes the best hot chocolate.
Garrett tickles my back in bed & when we watch movies on the couch.
Dance battles with Garrett.
Slow dancing in the kitchen with Garrett.
Garrett does crafts with me.
Garrett brings me snacks in bed.
Cuddling with Garrett.
Spending an entire shower just kissing Garrett.
Garrett gives the best bear hugs.
Garrett took me on my first date here & promised more.
Garrett knows how to fix dented bumpers (very resourceful).
Garrett sees my toys as friends, not competition.
Nobody makes me laugh like Garrett.
Garrett is patient & kind & accepts all of me.
Garrett looks at me like I’m the best thing in his world. He’s the best thing in mine.
Garrett.
Garrett.
Garrett.
Sunshine: C’mon, Garrett. Play with me.
CHAPTER 43
SUNSHINE & CHAOS
JENNIE
Have you ever seen a six-foot-four hulk of a man cradle his tiny, newborn baby girl in his arms while singing “You Are My Sunshine?”
“Damnit,” I mutter. “They’re cute.”
“I’m wearing an adult diaper and I tore in places no women should ever tear, all because he has no self-control and couldn’t pull out one fucking time, but I’m so goddamn in love with those two, it’s absolutely unbelievable.” Olivia gazes at Carter and Ireland as they slowly sway together. I swear I see the hint of tears before she scrunches her nose and shakes them away. “He’s so far from perfect, Jennie, but he’s got so much love in his heart. He loves you very much.”
“He has a funny way of showing it sometimes.” I watch as he smiles down at Ireland, then lowers his lips to hers. “He’s the one who taught me how to communicate, how important it was to speak my mind, and then he disappeared on me.”
“I know. You have every right to be upset with him. He made some mistakes, and now he needs to correct them.” She rubs her eyes and sighs. “The night of your interview, Cara and Em were here doing karaoke. He did your song, the one you two always sing together.”
I smile, thinking about the way we trade off so perfectly on our favorite Frozen song, “Love Is an Open Door.”
“He wouldn’t let anyone else sing with him, but he wouldn’t sing your lines either. He was miserable, letting the microphone hang at his side.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know why in the world he didn’t just…not do the song.”
Her guess is as good as mine.
Olivia leans into me, laying her head on my shoulder. “Can I be honest with you, Jennie?”
“Always.”
“I’m glad you decided Toronto wasn’t for you. If you decided it was, I would’ve been happy for you but…sad for us. I love you so much, but I really wanted to keep loving you right here. I know it’s selfish of me, but—”