Diane leaned back in her chair, a wary look on her face. “Is it a problem? Yes and no. I can clearly see how much Landry loves Bryan, so it’s good that she has her. But in the same token, if things were to end between you two? That would be really hard on her.”
I nodded. “We both understand that, and we didn’t enter into this relationship lightly.” I looked over at B. “I don’t know what Landry and I would do without her, and I have no plans for this to end.”
Diane gave me small smile. “To be honest, Jacks, I don’t know what you would do without Bryan either.” She looked toward the door that had just opened. Landry must be done with her session. “Which is part of the problem. The courts don’t like temporary. You and Bryan aren’t married, you aren’t engaged, yet she is like a mother to Landry. That little girl couldn’t take being abandoned again. It would crush her. And if things end between you and Bryan, that’s just what would happen.” She stood. “I need for the two of you to really think about what you are doing here. Think about the future, think about Landry. This isn’t going to be nearly as clear-cut a case as I was thinking. We’ll talk soon.”
***
Neither Bryan nor I knew what to say after Diane left. We thought we were doing great, raising Landry in this unconventional setting. She was relaxed and laughing and thriving. But apparently we were one wrong move away from messing up her life and losing her. The whole family was seated around the dining room table. Without Bryan and I talking, things were more quiet than usual.
Lexi set her fork down. “You two want to share with the rest of the family what the hell has you so bummed and withdrawn? It’s like you have black rain clouds over your heads.”
I glanced over at Landry. She was finished eating and her eyes were darting around the table. “Hey, Buttercup? You want to take Dagger upstairs and put on a movie? You guys can both get in our bed.” She rolled her eyes, getting up and calling Dagger to her side. I turned to Bryan. “When did she start rolling her eyes?”
She huffed out an irritated laugh. “Everyone in this house rolls their eyes. She was bound to pick it up. And she knows when we want to talk about grown-up stuff without her. She is nine, not three.”
Why the hell was I getting Bryan’s attitude? Did I do something wrong? It wasn’t my fault the social worker had decided to drop that bomb on us today. I was just as freaked out as she was. We’d never fought before, not once. Which was probably because I never pushed her on anything. I didn’t try to make her talk about her feelings or the future. I just let it all ride, let it be fun. But the fun was over, Diane had made sure of that.
Lexi crossed her arms over her ever-growing chest, resting them on the top of her huge baby bump. “What the hell is going on with you two? This morning I heard you making out in the pantry and now you won’t even look at each other.”
I studied my plate, keeping my eyes down. “Diane told us that we need to be very certain about our future, about what we are doing together. The courts ‘don’t like temporary.’ She said that if Bryan and I break up it would be another abandonment for Landry.” It would probably be an even worse abandonment. From what Mark had told us, Landry’s mother was never much of a mother. She didn’t abuse Landry in the physical sense, but she certainly really never took care of her. Or worried about her health, or safety, or happiness. It was a point in our favor with the judge, but it made the fact that Bryan could leave all the more catastrophic. Which was a point against us.
Dylan cleared her throat. “Because Bryan has become a mother to her…and because Bryan could up and leave whenever she felt like it.”
Smith grabbed Dylan’s hand. “Cher, maybe now isn’t the time.”
She ignored him and looked across the table. “Didn’t I tell you that you needed to be careful? That you couldn’t take care of all this for him? Now, she thinks of you like a mom.”
Bryan took a deep steadying breath. “Dylan, please don’t start—”
But she kept on. “You feed her, you make sure she is safe, you run her days, you take care of her, and you’re in charge. But you aren’t permanent.”