The fact that he knew all this only proved that Lily had been talking to him about me. About us. And the thought sickened me. “How the fuck do you know all this?”
“She told me.” He shrugged. “And I also know she didn’t agree to it. At first,” he added.
At first? Did that mean that she’d eventually told him she wouldn’t see him anymore? She hadn’t told me any of that.
“A few days after Christmas I called her for a ride home, shitfaced and acting like an asshole. I know, right? What else is new?” He rolled his eyes at his own recklessness. “She told me she was done with me . . . that all I do is take from her. And she’s right. I’m selfish. So for once in my fucking life, I’m trying to do something for someone other than myself.” His eyes shot toward the ground, as if he were submitting to the truth of his next words. “She loves you, Adam. And I can’t stand in the way of that.” Finally, he raised his gaze, and I actually thought I saw a spark of sincerity in his eyes. “Not again.”
***
I hadn't been prepared to believe anything that came from Max’s mouth. So it surprised me when I took his words seriously. He'd told me he was done with her. He was bowing out of the race. And he seemed to think that made Lily mine.
But she wasn't mine. And I knew the only reason that wasn't the case was because I'd been the one to maintain the emotional distance between us. And I'd done that to protect my own feelings. But now I wondered if I was hurting myself more by not allowing our relationship to progress the way a typical adult relationship should.
The one thing I did know was that I couldn't protect my feelings forever. At some point, if I wanted anything more to develop between us, I'd need to go all-in. Even if that meant getting hurt again. I had only two choices: I could believe that Lily and Max were done with each other, or I could continue on this inevitable course to nowhere.
And only one of those choices had the potential for a happy ending. And fuck if I wouldn't do almost anything for one of those lately.
The decision had been made before I'd even realized I'd made it. I popped my head into my front door and yelled up to Eva. "I need to run out for an hour or so, honey. I forgot something at my office. I'll pick up dinner on the way home." I briefly felt guilty for lying so easily to my daughter. That is until I reminded myself that she probably lies way more to me.
***
"Who is it?" Lily asked when I buzzed her apartment. Shit. Suddenly it occurred to me that she could be busy. And here I was, showing up at her apartment like a desperate boyfriend. What if she didn't give me the invitation I'd hoped for? "Uh, it's Adam. Sorry, I—"
"Adam?" She clearly seemed surprised it was me. But if I wasn't mistaken, she seemed surprised in a good way.
Leaning against the doorframe of her apartment wearing nothing but black yoga pants and a tight grey V-neck T-shirt stood the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. "Hey," she said, confused. "I don't mean to be . . . but what are you do—"
"I can do this," I cut her off. "This," I motioned with my hand between us. "I can do it."
Chapter 22: Lily
In a split second, I'd analyzed Adam's expression. His stare was unmistakable. It was the same stare I’d seen during our first night in the hotel together; his eyes held desire, trust, and undeniable urgency all wrapped up into one solid package. My eyes scanned down his body until they stopped just below his waist. Speaking of nice packages.
I wasn’t looking at his face, but I didn’t need to. His actions spoke for him. Before I could eye-fuck Adam's “package” any longer, I found myself pressed up against it, his hands tangling in my hair and scratching down the length of my back as his lips parted mine with a determination he hadn’t demonstrated since we'd started dating again. Gone was the hesitation and uncertainty we'd felt together. In its place was a longing and need for each other. And I knew Adam could feel it too.
My back found the wall as Adam kicked the door shut, not missing a beat as his mouth worked its way swiftly down my neck and chest. I’d forgotten how much I missed the feel of his soft lips on my skin. And as his teeth gently tugged on my taut nipples through my shirt, I ached to feel them inside his warm wet mouth.
I gasped as his tongue traveled up my chest, his lips planting soft kisses along my collarbone on the way to suck hungrily on the flesh of my neck. And an unexpected shiver ran through me at the feel of his breath blowing tantalizingly against my wet skin.
His name was barely a whisper as it left my mouth. And a low growl vibrated against my heart as it escaped his throat. "Touch me, Lily," he groaned. "Like you used to."