“A fan of what?” Beth looked confused. “I’m Yasmine's cousin. She just warned me to stay away from you.” A devious smile crept across her lips. “But I don’t usually do as I’m told. Come on. You gonna come join us?” she asked, shifting to make room for me as she patted the cushion.
I moved to sit between them, closing my eyes and letting Hallie’s hand take the place of my own as it slid beneath my pants and boxers. With every long pull of her warm hand, I felt myself get closer to the release I’d craved since our time on the dance floor. I didn’t know how much longer I could last like this, but I would enjoy every fucking second of it.
Ever the gentleman, I thought it was only polite to reciprocate the favor. So I slipped one hand up Hallie’s thigh, tickling her skin lightly on the way to my destination. Her breath halted at my touch, and she let out a soft moan as my fingertips pulled the lace fabric to the side. Gently, I teased her opening, enjoying the bucking of her hips in response.
Two fingers slid inside easily. This chick was fucking soaked for me. As my fingers stroked the warm insides of her * and my thumb swirled with pressure around her clit, I watched as Beth did the same to herself. “Oh, shit. This is like a fucking race,” I said. Though I was certain I could win without much effort if I wanted to.
“Oh, Max,” Hallie moaned in response, “make me come. Now!”
Yes, ma’am. On cue, a free finger traveled up the crack of her ass rubbing softly until the pressure became too much and she let go, her cunt clenching in hard spasms around my slippery fingers. I imagined it was my cock inside her, plunging deep as her insides gripped around me tightly. That image, combined with her heavy breaths and soft whimpers, almost pushed me over the edge, but somehow I managed to bring her down slowly from her orgasm while holding off my own.
Then without warning, the girls’ mouths attacked mine. I could taste the sweet lip gloss one of them was wearing. Strawberry maybe. And my tongue swept across their swollen lips, biting and pulling until my own were sore from the exertion. Then resting my head against the wall behind me, I enjoyed the moment: listening to the urgency of Beth’s cries as my fingertips tugged hard on her nipple.
When she finally came, her moans mixed with the soft music coming from the speakers: “Hard to Love” by Lee Brice. Opening my eyes to gaze into the mirror across from us, I let the girls' mouths and hands devour me as the meaning of the lyrics stared me right in the face: I was selfish, impulsive, and incredibly irresponsible. I couldn’t be upset that Lily never loved me the way I loved her. I had been the one to sabotage that. And I knew I’d never get her back. I was pretty sure I’d never even had her to begin with. But if I could ever get anyone worth loving to love me back, I knew I had to change.
These girls had no clue who I used to be. They didn’t know I was once a hockey player. They only knew me as an altogether different type of player now. And nothing I was doing presently would do anything to change their preconceived notion. I watched the proof of that in the mirror as Beth’s tongue moved across my chest and Hallie’s hand continued to work me until I finally exploded with hot spurts into her palm.
It was nearly midnight after the girls cleaned up in the bathroom. They left before I’d even gotten up to put my shirt back on. And I can’t say I was disappointed. They knew as well as I did what this had been: three strangers having a little fun for the sake of sexual gratification—nothing more.
Nothing more. The words bounced around my mind like a racquetball in an empty room. And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t escape their echo. Nothing in my life had ever been anything more. I’d lived thirty years never putting anything into any relationship except for the bare minimum.
But as I stared at my reflection and listened to the countdown to the new year through the speaker, the realization hit me: it didn’t matter who I used to be. It only mattered who I could be. In 2013, I’d been an egocentric asshole who’d made it impossible for anyone to love him.
But in 2014, I planned to be someone else entirely.
***
I spent much of the next week rehashing what had happened during the past year. 2013 had begun as a year full of hope, full of promise. I’d started it with the opportunity to clean up my image and start fresh. But now, there I sat, one year later, thinking the same exact fucking thing as if nothing had changed at all.
What had gone so wrong that an entire year had passed without any progress at all? It seemed like for every step I took forward, I took two more back. And I had no one to blame for that but myself. I’d been the one walking backward.
I’d been the one to try to kiss Lily a week ago when she’d been selfless enough to pick me up in the middle of the night. I’d been the one to fuck everyone with a beating heart and tits since Lily had said she’d never wanted to see me again last spring. I’d been the one to leave Swift Middle School without any sort of job opportunity. And I’d been the one to let Adam know about my relationship with Lily in the first place.