To my knowledge, Shane never referred to Amanda as ‘sweetheart' and meant it sincerely, which led me to believe the gauntlet had not only been thrown, but accepted.
“Mommy, can I have some turkey?” I looked at the sweet little girl beside me. I’m not sure how Talia and Ben had created an abomination like Henry and then something so adorable like Mackenzie.
“Sure, baby. What else do you want?” Talia asked.
“Ummm . . .”
“Kenzie, how about some fresh tomato with basil?” Shane interrupted.
Amanda scoffed. “Why would a six-year-old want that? I have some macaroni and cheese over here, Mackenzie. How does that sound?”
“Why would she want this? Maybe because she wants to live to see her teenage years. Trust Uncle Shane on this one, Kenzie. Amanda is trying to kill you.”
Our heads all flew toward Shane when we registered his words. Then Mackenzie started to cry. “Why would she do that, Uncle Shane?”
A look of horror swept over Shane’s face as he realized what he had just said. “Oh no, Kenzie, I didn’t mean that.”
Kenzie was all out sobbing now as Talia wrapped her arms around the young girl and tried to soothe her.
“Nice job, Shane,” Amanda quipped.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, Kenz.”
“How come when I talk, mom threatens to ground me, but Uncle Shane can curse?” Henry accused.
“Because, like mom said, you’re an idiot.”
Katherine looked appallingly at her oldest son. “Ben, you shouldn’t call your son names. That's twice his parents have called him an idiot at the Christmas table. I never spoke to you boys like that.”
“Well, Mom, maybe if you had, your other son wouldn’t be traumatizing my daughter over Christmas dinner.”
Then Angela decided to offer her own pearl of wisdom. “Don’t worry, Ben. Shane probably didn’t cause any real damage. I mean, you should hear some of the things I said to Amanda over the years. And she turned out just fine.”
“Thanks for helping, Mom,” Amanda said dryly.
“My pleasure,” Angela replied happily as she spooned some sweet potatoes onto her plate.
The dinner table was in complete chaos, with everyone talking at once and arguing with one another. And to think, I almost went home to Chicago for Christmas and missed all this. Suddenly, I started laughing. An uncontrollable belly laugh that echoed through the room. Eventually, all other conversation ceased as everyone stared at me. Even Mackenzie stopped her crying to look at me quizzically.
“Did I miss a joke?” Amanda asked, amusement evident in her voice.
I couldn’t even stop laughing long enough to answer her.
“I think she’s drunk, dear,” Angela volunteered.
This little gem from Angela only made me laugh harder, which I hadn’t even thought was possible. Finally, I tried to form some kind of coherent speech. “You two . . . are such . . . assholes. You’re utterly . . . perfect for each other.”
Amanda pushed her tongue into her cheek to keep a serious countenance, but it was no use. She was soon laughing just as hard as I was. She looked up at Shane, smiling the first genuine smile she’d worn all night. “I love you immensely. You know that, right?”
“I do,” Shane replied simply, his lips tilted up in a boyish smile that showed just how in love with Amanda he was.
“Good. Then let’s eat. Mackenzie, you know I love you too, right?”
The little girl nodded.
Amanda smiled. “Then, you know that I’d never hurt you. You can eat whatever you want. Nothing bad will happen.”
The little girl sniffled a few times, but visibly relaxed.
The rest of dinner passed without incident. We enjoyed easy, lighthearted conversation and no one else cried or threatened physical harm. Once we had finished dessert, which Shane had thankfully not even tried to prepare something for, we got up to clear the table. But Shane and Amanda quickly told everyone to go into the living room to relax. They’d clean up and be in so that we could all exchange presents. Even though we all repeated that we’d help, the offer was half-hearted and proven insincere as we all walked toward the living room without giving the dinner table a second look.
However, as Henry sidled up next to me and tried to hold my hand, I quickly thought better of my decision and started toward the kitchen to offer some help. As I walked through the doorway of the kitchen, I stopped short and quickly drew back so that I was hidden behind the corner. I poked my head forward just enough to watch Shane and Amanda.