I had been shocked into silence for the better part of several rotations, as the guys all spoke quietly in the sitting area of Aros’s room. Eventually, though, I had to shake it off. I needed to see Emmy. I pulled myself off the bed, still wrapped in blankets, and asked Siret for new clothes before we all left to go to the healing wing.
Chaos, I thought.
Willa Knight. Dweller of Chaos.
Sol of Chaos?
Dweller-Sol of Chaos—
“Just stop,” Siret begged, walking beside me. “Just because you have some Chaos in you, that doesn’t mean you need to adopt a new title, Soldier.”
Soldier of Chaos—
“Seriously?” He cut me a sideways look and shook his head. “Oh, it’s here.”
He had motioned to the door that Yael was already pulling open. The others were behind us, because in typical Abcurse fashion, they were refusing to split up. We walked into the long room full of beds, and I caught sight of Emmy immediately. My steps faltered, my throat clogging up.
“Can I have a click?” I rasped.
“We’ll be here.” Yael pressed against my spine, urging me forward, and then suddenly I was running.
I sprinted to her bedside, tears flying down my face, and gathered her up before she had even managed to pull herself into a sitting position.
“Will …” She stroked my hair, her shoulders hunching forward. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
“You’ve been worried about me?” I pulled back, my voice shaking. Every part of me was shaking. I couldn’t stop crying. “I’m so sorry.” Somehow, I found her hands, and our fingers tangled together. “I’m so sorry about A—”
She cringed, and shook her head.
Don’t say his name. She didn’t ask, but the request was clear. It made me cry even harder, but I didn’t want to be the one breaking down. I wanted to be holding her while she broke down. Maybe she had already broken down and was all done for the sun-cycle. That thought made me sick to my stomach, because I wanted—no, I needed to be there for her. She was my sister.
We stared at each other, me at the faint red marks on her skin, and her at the tears that were still tracking down my face, and then … as though the walls had crumpled, she simply slumped into me and began to sob. I hugged her to my chest, absorbing the horrible sounds as they rocked through her. I had known that Atti meant something special to her, but I hadn’t realised just how serious it had gotten. I felt as though I was holding the shattered pieces of her in my hands, and I simply didn’t know how to put her back together again.
“I promise, Em,” I whispered against her head. “I’m never going to leave you like that again. From now on, it’s me and you. Always. Me and you.”
Eventually, Emmy cried herself to sleep, and the Abcurses managed to pry me out of the room. I shuffled into the dining hall after them, everything in my mind feeling numb. I barely even noticed the looks I was getting. Siret had used Trickery to put normal clothes on me again, so it must have had something to do with the rebellion, or with Atti.
Or maybe it was just the usual.
The Dweller Who Didn’t Belong—
“Willa,” Coen groaned. “Stop. Making. Up. Titles. You belong with us, don’t worry about everyone else.”
“Oh, really?” I turned so that I could face him, walking backwards. Driving Coen to frustration had lit up a small spark of life somewhere inside all the numbness. “You mean I’m good enough for you now that I’m a badass Chaos Be—”
“Just shout it into the hallways,” Yael broke in dryly.
“Bitch,” I finished. “Badass Chaos Bitch.”
“One more title,” Coen warned, his eyes growing dark, “one more, especially one that bad, and I’ll—”
But he never got to finish his sentence, because I had started running. Admittedly, it wasn’t the best plan. They were bigger than me. They were faster than me. They were full-blown special-sauce gods and I was just a hatchling god, but I had Chaos on my side.
“Chaos!” I shouted, pointing at a dweller’s cart as he tried to wheel it past me.
Nothing happened.
“That’s not how it works!” Yael shouted behind me.
I flung out my hand to do it again, but a body was already crashing into me. Strong hands lifted me up, flinging me over a broad shoulder.
“Fuck breakfast,” Rome grunted, the words travelling through his shoulders and into my stomach. “We haven’t slept in two sun-cycles. We’re going back to bed. Chaos can wait.”