“No,” she interrupts. “It wasn’t and isn’t fair for me to continue to demand so much from you when you’ve made it clear from the beginning how you felt about her. I should have given you the go-ahead to tell her weeks ago. Especially since I’ve talked to her myself, and I know she isn’t going to do anything to hurt you … including letting this go past her. But I think it might be time to let it out, Kane. She might believe you, but the press is going to eat her alive without us confirming something.”
Shit. She’s right. Because of everything that had happened since we touched down in Santa Monica earlier, I hadn’t even thought about the new rumors being added to the ones that had been simmering for a while.
Instead of them just speculating about Mia’s and my relationship, whether the baby is or isn’t mine, it’s turned into a love triangle where Willow is the star villain.
“It’s time, Kane. It’s going to be okay. God, I’m so sorry,” she sobs.
“Don’t apologize. It’s an impossible situation because we’re in the spotlight, so no matter what, someone is going to lose. But it’s not going to be you. It won’t be Willow or me. And it won’t be the baby. Let me call Kole and find out where she is. I’ll talk to her and then we can figure out what to do.”
“No, I’m coming over. She needs to hear it from you, but I also need to explain to her why I allowed this to happen. You aren’t the only one at fault for it.”
“Yeah.” I laugh bitterly. “And neither are you.”
When I hang up, I don’t feel any lighter knowing that I can freely break my word to Mia and tell Willow what I had been holding back. If anything, I feel even more trepidation because I know if we can’t figure out what to do about the media, the baby will be the least of my worries when it comes to repairing things with Willow.
WALKING AWAY FROM KANE WHEN he was obviously hurting was almost impossible. I know that the old Willow would have just rolled over and let his excuses and secrets stay his own, but not now. I know without a doubt, just because of the fact I was able to walk away from him, that I’m no longer allowing my fears to rule me. I deserve more, from him and for me.
The part I’m struggling with, the one slowly chipping away at my resolve to stay strong, is the very real fear that when I left, it might be forever. I don’t doubt that he will find me, try and bring me back, but right now, I have no idea how I would be able to move forward with him when doing so is going to put me in a position that I’m terrified to be in.
I wrap my arms around myself, turn from the window I had been blindly looking out of, and move to the bed. I’ve spent the last hour or so locked away with my thoughts. Kole had kept silent during our drive, but he let me know in no uncertain terms that he would not allow me to go to a hotel. He’s given me my space since arriving at his house, but I’m not sure how long that will last. Kole, like his brother, has too great of a protective instinct.
I knew Kane had been keeping something from me. Heck, he admitted it. But I let it go because I understood he planned to tell me and I assumed that he would once we arrived. I might not understand why he couldn’t have just called Mia and taken care of this before we came, but I figured it had a lot to do with him worrying that I wouldn’t be able to handle their secret.
That I would run.
And I basically proved him right.
No. You can’t think like that, Willow. You left because you had to. You left because he wouldn’t tell you even when faced with losing you. You left because you’re stronger.
But am I?
Did leaving mean that I was strong or does that make me weak because I didn’t want to face what was being thrown right in front of me. Or an even better question, if I’m able to forgive Kane and move forward, will I be strong enough to deal with what I can only guess will get worse before it gets better when it comes to the public perception of me—us—everything.
I knew that when our relationship was officially thrust into the spotlight, there would be many eyes on me. The fear of what they would think, the things they would say, and worst of all—the scorn that would come just by being with him … it had been at the forefront of my mind daily.
But I believed that together we would be able to get through it. I had no illusions that it wouldn’t be without struggles, but I still believed. But I’m not just facing public scorn for being with Kane, taking him off the market, and what many will feel is with someone not worthy of him. Now, I fear it will all be so much worse because I haven’t just stolen Kane’s heart—according to his brother, I also stole him from Mia and their child.
God, just the thought of Mia and her baby—Kane’s baby—makes my stomach churn.