I grabbed my towel and moisturizer and got in the shower. I put the water on, trying to let the noise of it drown out the noise in my head. I reached out to feel if the water was the right temperature, and once it was, I immersed myself in it, closing my eyes. It felt great—soothing. I squirted my nourishing shampoo into my palm and began massaging it into my scalp. I rubbed some lavender body wash over my tender pussy, which was still a bit sore from the friction of our tryst on the beach. I wished I could wash that action away, but some things happened way too late.
I tried not to look at his body wash and wash cloth, which he’d placed rudely near my stuff. He’d left some hair, too. I tried to convince myself he was a gross creature and that I would never want to see him again after this summer. I imagined him, hairy and muscular and handsome.
“Ugh! Stop it!” I scolded myself.
Evening was setting in by the time I finished using the hair dryer. My thick hair was notoriously difficult to manage, but it was pretty, at least. My hair was curled elegantly, and I put on a light pink dress and a long pink cardigan over that. My nails were painted with a nice pink polish, and I was perfectly shaved. My chunky pink heels looked great, I had to admit. I looked totally hot. I imagined what Ash would do if he saw me, inwardly scolding myself for being pathetic enough as to care.
I heard giggling coming from Ash’s room. I had been messing around with the hair dryer for forty minutes, so I hadn’t heard them come in. I heard deep laughter follow. A spike of annoyance raked through me. I dropped my purse on the bed and walked to his side of the bathroom door, pressing my ear to it. I heard soft moans and muffled sounds. Hurt washed over me, and I couldn’t help myself. I slammed opened the door to his room to see it clouded in smoke. He and the girl, Jen, were on his bed, making out.
“Nice,” I said, my face red with embarrassment and hurt. “You couldn’t…you couldn’t smoke somewhere else?” I yelled, not the least bit upset about the smoke, but really upset that he could hook up with another girl so close to my room.
“Amy!” he said and sat up on his bed. Jen looked smug as she placed her hand on his stomach.
“Oh. That’s your stepsister,” she said with a cool voice. She looked me over the way a cat does before they pounce on their competition.
Tears streamed down my face. “Fuck you, Ash. Fuck you,” I said, my voice shaking through my tears. I turned on my heel and grabbed my purse. I was going to go to the city, sneak into a bar, and forget his existence.
“Amy, wait!”
I heard him shout. I didn’t care. He’d already lost me. Fuck him. I went to my room, slamming the door to my room behind me. I stomped down the steps as fast as I could with my heels on.
“Going out?” I heard Gary say.
He was in the den by the door, reading a book on finance. I smiled and wiped my tears away, trying so hard not to show my pain.
“Yeah. To the city,” I said.
“You’ll need something, then,” he said with a warm smile. “I’ll be right back.”
I waited out of politeness. I really just wanted to run out of the house. The train station wasn’t too far away, and I planned to walk there even with my chunky heels. I’d hoped Ash would be the first one to go with me in the city, but screw him. I didn’t need him now.
Gary returned with a small black wallet. Inside were two credit cards. “These are for you—for any of your expenses,” he said. “I meant to give them to you earlier, but I wanted to wait for the right time.”
I shook my head. “Thank you so much, Gary, but I couldn’t possibly.”
“Please. Take it. You’re my stepdaughter now, and I want to make sure you are always safe and comfortable. Besides, I called you a cab to the train. It should be here in a couple of minutes,” he said with a warm, fatherly smile.
“Thanks,” I said softly, taking the wallet. “It would be nice to not have to walk there.”
I waited in the den with Gary, trying to hold back tears. My mother joined us, talking animatedly about her bed and breakfast. I saw lights flash as the cab pull into the driveway.
“My ride is here. Gotta go!”
“Be careful, sweetie, and have fun!” my mom replied.
I waved to Gary and left, feeling the cool night air hit me as I walked out of the house.
“Hello. Could you please take me to the Metro North station?” I asked the driver,
He nodded wordlessly, and we pulled away. I looked up at Ash’s room, seeing his strobe lights reflected in his window. He didn’t even chase me or come after me. How could he really care?
I put on my headphones and scrolled through my music, being careful to avoid rock music because it reminded me of him. I settled on a girl power ballad and looked at myself in the window. I looked pretty but sad. I needed to cheer up.
The driver stopped the car at the train station. I rummaged in my purse and pulled out a crisp twenty-dollar bill, always a generous tipper.
“Thank you,” I said, “have a good night.”
“No, thank you. Be careful on the train!”