“Duke is right,” I said.
“Duke is right?” Jim asked. Jim looked at Duke again. “Since we’re clearing the air, brother, let’s get things straight. You bailed on me. You pulled my ass out of that truck over there before I could get to Bill. Then you were gone. Like you died or something. You left her” - Jim pointed right at me - “to sit and suffer. She waited. Days when I wasn’t strong enough you weren’t there for anyone. So fuck you, Duke. I’ll say this once to you… if you come around here just to take shots at me and fuck my sister I’m going to take you out back and make sure you never get to fuck anything again.”
I couldn’t remember a time seeing Jim so raw and angry. Especially when he was sober.
The pain he and Duke traded in their stare terrified me.
Jim then turned and started to walk away.
“Jim,” I yelled. “Breakfast.”
“I’ll make my own,” he called out.
When he was gone, Duke just stood there, nodding. He looked at me. He swallowed hard.
He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “Shit, sweetie. Maybe you need to get some help around here. Or find someone to understand this.”
I wasn’t sure what the hell Duke meant by that but then he stormed out of the kitchen. Worse than that, he went out the front door. I heard the heavy thud of the door and my mouth fell open.
What the hell had just happened?
**
Duke stood at the top step of the porch with his arms crossed and stared out beyond the driveway. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what those eyes had seen in their lifetime so far. Even beyond the military stuff and being at war, just all the things I had heard about the motorcycle club.
I didn’t expect to see Duke standing on the porch. I thought he was going to be on his ride, ready to take off.
“Duke.”
“I didn’t fucking take off on anyone,” he said. “I made a decision. It might have seemed bad at the time, I get that, but in the long run…” He looked at me. “You don’t want this life, sweetie.”
“See, that’s the problem,” I said. “Everyone telling me what I want and don’t want. I’m tired of it.”
“Belle…”
“I waited a year,” I said. “More than that, waiting for you, Duke. Before that I had a comfortable distraction. It was all going to work out. I had a reason to forget you. But he left me. He didn’t want to deal with the crippled brother and the dead father.”
“Christ,” Duke said. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t deal with sorry,” I said. “What Jim said…”
“Was exactly what he needed to say,” Duke said. “He needed to get that off his chest. He holds a lot of guilt that one of the guys died. I saved my best friend, sweetie. Maybe I was being selfish. I try not to go too far back there because if you get stuck, you’re screwed. Jim wanted to save people. He had a greater sense of pride than I ever did. When that shit got detonated, it was a split second reaction he had to save lives. All I could think about was saving his. That’s what makes him the greater man in all of this. I hope he sees that sooner than later.”
Duke took the first step and I jumped at him.
I grabbed his leather cut as he hit the second step. He turned around and was almost eye level to me. My hands held his leather cut tight. Then I let go and slowly lifted my hands to touch his face.
I wasn’t going to do the dumb cliche thing and tell Duke he was a great man or anything like that.
In fact, I had no idea what to say. Half of me wanted to hate him. The other half wanted to love him.
“Thank you for coming here again,” I said. “I need to stop doing that though. Bothering you.”
“No, sweetie, that’s where you’re really wrong here. You can bother me anytime you fucking want. I owe you years. But you know who I am now and what I do. At least you think you know what I do.”
“Maybe you can tell me someday,” I said.
“Maybe you can tell me about the person you were fucking while waiting for me,” he said.
“Maybe I will.”
Duke put his hands to my waist. It was the same way he held me last night. When we were both naked. When he was thrusting at me. Fucking me. When he was…
“In my mind you were better off,” he said. “That’s all I can say. But I would never leave you hanging to suffer. What you have here is bullshit, sweetie. I’m not leaving you again. But I have to go right now.”
“Club stuff?” I asked.
“Exactly.”
“Duke, do you ever worry about getting caught? Getting into trouble? Going to jail?”
“Every day,” he said. “But this is my life, Belle. This is my brotherhood. It’s all I know.”
He leaned forward and kissed me.
I pulled at his steel jaw, demanding more of him. I actually wanted him to lift me up and take me back inside. We could walk right up the steps and let the day waste by.
We kept kissing and I could sense I was just seconds away from my wish coming true.
Then I heard the sound of a car and tires hitting the rocks in the driveway.
That broke the kiss as Duke turned, blocking me.