“Zane,” I whispered, and he opened his eyes. “If it was only me I’d be there with you, at your side no matter what. I’d trust you with my life,” I promised. “But it’s not just me. I know you promise this won’t happen again, but I can’t take that chance. I could for you, for us, with me. But not with my daughter’s life,” I finished quietly. I didn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t.
His fingers gently lifted my chin to lock my eyes with him. I braced for the fury. For the glare I had only just said goodbye to. But it wasn’t there. There was a hardness to his eyes, hiding something. But there was also tenderness. Love. I nearly choked when I saw it.
“You’re a fuckin’ good mom, baby. Protecting your girl. I get it,” he ground out, like it was physically painful for him to say. “Gonna fuck you now,” he murmured. “Taste every inch of you one last time, so I can imprint it into my memories. So you’ll feel me for weeks after this,” he growled.
Then it was nothing. No words. His mouth claimed mine. Different than any other time before. I didn’t think it could be better. But it was. Zane wasn’t holding anything back; he was giving me everything. Taking everything. I clutched to him for dear life. Wishing this moment, this night, could last forever so I never had to say goodbye. That’s what it was. Goodbye. Countless times he made love to me, worshipping every inch of me, possessing every inch of me. Then in the early hours of the morning, he bundled me into his chest, surrounding me with his warmth, his strength.
“Sleep, baby,” he commanded softly.
And although I didn’t want to, didn’t want to surrender to the force dragging down my eyelids, I did. I was too far gone to hear him murmur in my ear.
“Love you, baby, to the moon.”
And when I awoke, he was gone. Most of me was gone too.
The moment the first gunshots sounded was the moment his heart stopped entirely. His eyes had already been on Mia and he had been bursting with fury. Not because Gage had his hands on her, although that did contribute, but mostly because it wasn’t him. He couldn’t smile and laugh while twirling her round to some stupid fuckin’ song. One Lexie could sing the shit out of, no matter how silly it was. It grated him that he couldn’t be the one that made her laugh, give her what Brock gave Amy. Even Cade, who didn’t dance had Gwen curled in his lap, murmuring to her. Bull couldn’t even fuckin’ do that. His past, his demons had screwed him up so bad he couldn’t even give the woman he loved what she deserved. Be the man he was before. He was watching Mia make her way over to him with a small smile. Even knowing what he couldn’t give her she still smiled, still took what he could give. Christ, if he didn’t love her even more.
So when he saw her standing among people who were getting cut down by bullets, he couldn’t think. Couldn’t move for a second. He was frozen in terror. Only for a second, then he found his feet. Found his voice.
“Mia! Someone get Mia!” he screamed desperately as he watched her spin and sprint toward the stage. She dodged every one of his brothers easily, her movements desperate. He watched as Gage finally got a hold of her. He was never happier to see Mia in another man’s arms as he was in that moment. His terror translated to Lexie. His girl, who was on the fuckin’ stage. Every part of him screamed to be able to be there, protect his girls. His mind quieted slightly to see Killian shielding Lexie.
With them taken care of he moved his body, pulled out his piece and started firing. He didn’t even bother to crouch down. Fuckers were riding off anyway. He thought he managed to clip the last one to run off, but he wasn’t sure. As soon as the danger disappeared, he didn’t make chase like some of his other brothers did. He went for his girls. He tried to swallow the bitter fear that poisoned every inch of him. When he finally made it to Mia, when she struggled in his arms like a banshee, he relaxed slightly. She was struggling, screaming, fighting. Which meant she was alive. Once he had catalogued every inch of her gorgeous body to make sure it was unharmed, he felt like he could breathe slightly.
“Let me get to my daughter,” she demanded in a voice he didn’t recognize, a voice laden with terror. He flinched and felt that same terror inside him at the thought of Lexie. His eyes fell on her girl, climbing off the stage with the help of Killian.
“Mom!” she screamed, running over.
Bull let Mia go so she could hug her daughter. He watched in relief as Lexie hugged her back, unscathed. Unable to help himself, he touched her golden head, closing his eyes, thanking something that they were both okay.
His eyes met Mia’s. For the first time ever, his woman’s eyes were hard. He restrained a flinch at the sight of them, tried to communicate a silent apology, a silent declaration of how much he loved them both in his look.
Then he left. Because he had to. Had to punish the fuckers who killed his brother. Shot at his two reasons for living. Not existing. But living. Anyone who tried to extinguish that light was dead.
Bull met Cade at the front of the warehouse they were cleaning up. Or more accurately, the prospects were cleaning up.