I crossed the road, heading in what I hoped was the right direction. My legs were shaking but I ignored the desperate urge to stop. I had to push forwards. I had to. As I rounded a corner I saw a couple, a man and a woman I guessed to be in their early twenties, walking hand in hand about fifty feet ahead of me. They strolled slowly, heads inclined towards one another in intimate conversation, though I couldn't hear their words. I felt a sharp stab of jealousy as I was dragged back to a memory of the early days with Lucas, when he and I would walk home from a party, our hands clasped tightly together, much too in love to rush. We'd been so happy back then. My chest tightened, but I shook the emotions off, focusing my attention on the pair ahead of me.
“Hey!” I shouted, beginning to approach them at a run, ignoring the pain in my calves and the stabbing in my half numb feet. They turned, startled and I noticed how the man stepped in front of the woman, his stance protective. Her hands wrapped tightly around his forearm, her eyes wary.
“Hey!” I repeated, breathless. “Can you tell me where I am? I'm trying to get... to the Hilton.” I stopped in front of them, bending forwards, my hands on my thighs as I tried to catch my breath.
The man regarded me coolly. “You're trying to get to the Hilton?” he repeated, his tone incredulous.
I nodded. “Yes, I am. Am I anywhere near it?” I asked, noticing the waver in my voice as I swallowed back a fresh wave of tears. How there could be a single drop left to cry I couldn't fathom.
The pair looked at each other, the woman shaking her head. “The only Hilton I know of is about six miles north of here. Near the football stadium. Is that the one you mean?”
“Six miles?” I gasped. I could not walk another six miles. I couldn't. I doubted I'd even manage one.
“Yeah.” The woman looked at me, stepping past her boyfriend. “You're soaked. And bleeding,” she frowned. “What happened to you?”
I shook my head, the tears welling up in my eyes now. “It's... it's b-been a rough day.”
“Can I call someone for you?” she asked, touching my arm. “Fuck, you're freezing!” she startled as her hand met my skin. “Here.” She took off her jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders. It was thick, woollen and smelled like perfume. I was shocked at the gesture.
“Oh no, please – ” I started to protest, moving to slip the coat back off.
“Don't you dare.” She buttoned it around me, her eyes on mine. “You need this more than I do right now.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Was there a reason you needed to be at the Hilton?” the man chimed in now. “Because if it's just a hotel you're after, there's a Travelodge about five minutes from here.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Can you tell me how to get there?”
He shook his head. “I don't think so.” He looked at the woman, sharing some sort of unspoken communication, the kind that came from having a deep foundation of intimacy. I watched silently, soaking up the warmth from the borrowed jacket. He turned back to me after a few seconds. “We'll go with you. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving you to walk there all alone in the state you're in... uh, no offence, I mean – it's late. Let us come.”
The woman nodded alongside him. “It's not far, we would really prefer it.”
I meant to protest, to decline their kind offer, but I was just too exhausted to be polite. I didn't want to get lost. All I wanted was a warm bed somewhere quiet where I could curl up and rest. With their help, I could be there in minutes. I nodded, humbled by their generosity. “Thank you. That's kind of you.”
We walked in silence mostly, the woman's arm on mine, occasionally supporting my weight when I stumbled. Even with her help, I could barely find the strength to keep going. I was grateful that neither of them asked any further questions. I couldn't have formed the words to answer them even if they had.
As the Travelodge came in to view I found my strength again, my steps quickening in my desperation to get inside. We stopped on the pavement in front of the entrance and I began to unbutton the coat.
“No, you keep it,” the woman said.
I shook my head. “I'm not going to let you walk home without a coat after all you've done for me.” I handed it to her, trying to hide the fact that my body was protesting against the frigid air on my skin once more. I began to shake, my teeth chattering together. “It will be warm in there,” I reassured her, nodding towards the building.
“Okay, well get inside then. Do you want us to come in with you?”
“No. Thanks, but I'll be okay from here. I really appreciate you showing me the way.”
“It was no trouble,” the man replied. “Now go, get warm okay?”
I nodded, offering them a small smile. “Thank you both.” I walked into the bright foyer of the hotel. A blast of heat above the door hit me and I stopped beneath it, reluctant to leave the delicious warmth.
“Can I help you?” a sharp voice called, and I looked to where it was coming from. A woman, grey haired and hard mouthed was staring at me from the welcome desk.
“Yes,” I said, dragging myself away from the hot spot and walking towards her. “I need a room please.”
“A room?”
“Yes, whatever you have available.”
She regarded me, unsmiling. “You know this isn't a dosshouse?”
I stared back, my expression hard. After the day I'd just had, my patience was all but gone. I was freezing cold, hurt and exhausted beyond belief. And I wasn't going to let this woman treat me like dirt, no matter how I might look to her. “A room,” I repeated, my tone cold. I pulled my purse from my bag, slapped my credit card on the desk and folded my arms. For a moment, she did nothing, deciding, I assumed, whether or not she should refuse me. Though I didn't allow my hard expression to slip I felt absolutely terrified at the thought that she might send me back out into the cold. I was so close, so very close to getting a bed. She was my final hurdle and I couldn't afford to fall now.
With a loud tut, she picked up the card, slid it into the reader and told me to enter my pin. Her eyes flashed in surprise when the transaction went through. Without a word, she handed it back to me, along with a white plastic key card. “Room 127. Just so you know, any damages or theft will get charged to your card.” She glared at me. I didn't have the energy to come back with a clever retort. I had the key. I had what I needed. I turned, walking away, and pressed the button for the lift which thankfully arrived within seconds. I could feel her watching me as the doors slid closed, but I didn't look back. I didn't care what she thought of me.
I emerged into a long, quiet hallway, the carpet soft beneath my feet, the lights blissfully dim. Swiping the card, I entered my room, shutting the door firmly behind me. She had given me a twin room, two single beds separated by a small bedside cabinet. I didn't care. I stripped off my wet clothes, hanging them on the heated towel rail in the bathroom. Then, in a burst of hurry, I pulled the thick duvet from one bed and dumped it onto the other. Flinging open the wardrobe I found four thick fleecy blankets. I added two to the bed and wrapped the others snugly around my naked body. Then I climbed onto the mattress, crawling beneath the mound of covers, curling into myself. Very slowly I felt the convulsive shivers subsiding. My eyes closed, and I couldn't find the strength to open them again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
There was a shrill ringing sound shocking me into consciousness, assaulting my fragile senses. I jumped out of bed, staring wildly around, wondering where it was coming from. The telephone on the bedside cabinet flashed purple with each sound and I picked it up, if only to make the ringing stop. My head spun, my vision black around the edges, dizzying head-rush intermingled with a sharp slicing pain in my temples. I sank back down onto the bed, burrowing under the covers, holding the receiver to my ear.
“Roxy... are you there?” came a deep, familiar voice.
“Lucas...” I breathed, his voice pulling something lose within my chest. “H-how did you find me?”
“Credit card.” Of course. Shit. “Roxy, stay where you are, I'm coming to you.”
“What? Lucas, no, please don't!”