“I should have known you’d have your reasons—”
“You didn’t know. It’s okay. I love my grandma. She’s the only blood family that I have. She knows what a dick my dad is, but she doesn’t know what happened. I don’t want her worrying about me, Imi, so please don’t mention anything about where I live. She’s been through a lot herself and I don’t want to burden her,” Yoss said emphatically.
I frowned. “Burden her? But shouldn’t she know? She’d probably help you—”
“Things with my grandmother are more complicated than that. I just…please, don’t say anything. I trust you to respect me on this.”
I wanted to argue with him, but his eyes were pleading. “She has so few good days, I don’t want them ruined with my shit.”
“Yoss, I won’t say anything. I just think it’s wrong to keep her in the dark if she could help you,” I protested weakly.
Yoss and I approached the counter and he ordered two blueberry bagels. The man behind the counter gave us a snotty look as he handed the bag to Yoss. Neither of us acknowledged him. We had become used to the disgust.
Yoss handed me a warm bagel and I tried not to inhale it as we stepped outside. But I was too hungry to control myself and ended up eating the entire thing in three bites.
When I was finished, Yoss broke off half of his and handed it to me. I tried to push it away. “I can’t take yours. You need to eat too,” I told him.
“I can eat something later. Just take it,” he insisted firmly. So I took his half of the bagel and ate it, feeling guilty with every mouthful.
With my belly slightly fuller than it had been, we started walking north. It began to rain and I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head. Yoss didn’t have a hood and his dark hair became soaked in a matter of minutes.
“What did you mean your grandmother has so few good days? What’s wrong with her?” I asked him.
Yoss turned us down a side street lined with oak trees. “Growing up, she was larger than life. I remember her laughter most of all. When she’s happy, she’s loud. She doesn’t care who knows it. My dad hated when she came over. He used to fight with my mom about it before every holiday. But after Mom died, Grandma sort of fell apart. Mom was her only child and my granddad had passed away years before I was born.” Yoss stopped as we reached a well-kept brick building with the sign, Windy Acres Residential Community, out front.
Yoss smoothed his hair as best he could and quickly tucked in his shirt. I reached up and wiped a dark smudge off his cheekbone.
“She was never the same after that. A year later Dad had her put here. He sold her house, boxed up her stuff, and left her alone. Her mind has been deteriorating ever since. Alzheimer’s the doctors say. I think it’s just fucking boredom. Grandma isn’t the type of lady to be cool with sitting in a rocking chair staring at a wall all day. When she has good days, it’s awesome. When she has bad days, it’s heart breaking. But I keep coming here, even if sometimes she doesn’t remember who I am.”
It all made sense. And it made me hurt for him even more.
I painted a bright smile on my face. “I can’t wait to meet her,” I told him honestly. He was handing me fragments of his life. Pieces, tiny and precious.
“Do I look okay?” he asked and I wanted to laugh at the question. Okay wasn’t a word that anyone could ever use to describe him. Even wearing clothes that had seen better days, he was more beautiful than anyone.
“You look wonderful. What about me? Will Grandma approve?” I asked, feeling a little nervous for the first time. I wished I had something nicer to wear to meet such an important person in Yoss’s life. I felt grubby and small.
Yoss put his finger under my chin and lifted my face. His smile was sweet as his eyes swept over me. “She’ll love you because I love you.”
We walked into the foyer of Windy Acres and Yoss was immediately greeted by the red-haired lady sitting at the front desk.
“Yoss! Hello! It’s been too long!” She got up and came around to give him a hug, which he returned.
“How’s Grandma been? I should have been by to see her sooner—” Yoss began, a guilty note in his voice.
Red-haired lady waved away his comment. “You’re a busy young man. It’s just important that you’re here now.” Her face grew serious. “I don’t think she’d even realize if you were here.”
Yoss’s face fell. “Is she having a bad day?”
Red-haired lady patted his shoulder. “She’s in a good mood. But she thinks she’s at home waiting for your mother to come back from a playdate.”
Yoss glanced over at me. “I can wait out here if you want to see her alone,” I offered. I didn’t want to push my presence on a very personal moment.
Yoss grabbed my hand and squeezed. “No, I want you to meet her,” he said emphatically.
Red-haired lady gave me a smile. “And who is this lovely girl?”