My hand flew up to the small lump underneath my shirt, pulling the chain free of my collar. My fingers hiding the red figure.
“I still can’t believe I found it. Do you remember? That day at the flea market? You were getting all girlie about that weird doll—”
“The Kimber doll. From Jem and the Holograms,” I interrupted.
“Yeah, well you were all giggly and cute about it. You freaked when you saw it. I told you to take it, but you wouldn’t.” Yoss shook his head, then winced at the movement. “You always had way more scruples than the rest of us.”
“I just never saw the point of stealing something that I didn’t really need,” I pointed out. I didn’t want to look at him, but I couldn’t help myself. His smile was sweet.
“Then I found it. The necklace. It was sitting there, underneath these ugly, yellow doilies. It was like a sign or something. Do you remember what I told you?” he pressed.
My chest felt tight, my heart felt full. “You said that it would be like having a piece of you with me always. Because it’s the symbol from the cover of that book,” I said quietly, touching the hard lump again.
“Catch-22,” Yoss said, sounding pleased that I remembered.
I met Yoss’s eyes. Bright, fevered green burning. “And you’re still wearing it,” he said.
I nodded, tucking the necklace back in place.
“Why, Imogen? Why do you still wear it?” he asked.
Why?
I glanced back at the assessment I was filling out and pressed my lips into a thin line. “Now who’s using our history to manipulate?” I murmured.
Yoss didn’t say anything else about the necklace.
“Last physical address?” I asked again, sticking to the words on the paper.
“I was living in the woods by the river. Near The Pavilion. Do you remember that place?” he asked.
“Of course I do,” I said tersely.
“There’s an old house not far from there. I was living with a few people for a while.”
“Oh? Who were you living with?” Being homeless created intense bonds between people. We had fallen in love extremely fast by most people standards. But days had felt like weeks. Weeks like months. Survival had you clinging to those around you, scared that you would lose them like you had lost everything else.
It wasn’t surprising to hear that Yoss had found others to hold on to. But had he loved since he had loved me?
Why wouldn’t he have?
I had gotten married after all. Had tried to have children.
I hadn’t been celibate since we were together.
It only made sense that Yoss had been with someone. Lots of someones maybe. Not counting the men…
“You wouldn’t know them. Just some people I met a few years ago. A guy named Perry. There was also a woman named Gail.”
“Where are Perry and Gail now?” I asked, the question sticking in my throat. Was he with Gail? It wasn’t any of my business. It didn’t have any bearing on the services I was trying to coordinate for him.
But it mattered.
Of course it did.
“Perry’s in jail. As for Gail, I don’t know where she is. We lost track of each other a couple of weeks ago.” Yoss was chewing on his lip. He appeared agitated.
“How did you end up under the bridge the other night?”
Yoss picked at a scab on the back of his hand. “I needed money.” He shrugged. “Just a one off. Something to get me back on my feet for a while until I found something else. I still know the tricks. Where to go.”
“So you found…someone who would pay you for—?” I couldn’t say it. Shit. Where was my patented professionalism when I needed it?
Yoss picked, picked at his skin. “You don’t want to hear about this, Imi.”
“I have to hear about it. It’s my job,” I argued.
“Your job. Right.” Yoss laughed without any humor.
“It’s more than my job and you know it.” I bowed my head.
I heard his quiet exhale as he fidgeted restlessly in the bed.
“I hadn’t eaten in a few days. I was feeling like crap, now I know why.” He snorted before continuing, “I knew I needed some money. Gail had taken off and I was by myself in the house. It was cold as fuck and things were looking pretty bleak. I was running out of options. I had almost gotten busted for trying to lift a bag of chips and a Gatorade a couple of days before. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thinking that clearly.” Yoss cleared his throat.
I stared down at the paper in my hands. I should take notes. But I couldn’t.
“The guy was weird. I knew that the minute he approached me. Twitchy. His eyes were all over the place. I had a bad feeling. But I didn’t listen to my instincts. You get used to ignoring them after a while,” Yoss went on.
I looked up at him and he was staring out the window.
“He hurt you,” I finished for him.
Yoss nodded. “He told me to unbuckle my pants and to turn around. It wasn’t an unusual request, so I did as he told me to.”