Everything I did to support her was never enough.
The sex was fine梬hen it happened at all in the last few years梐nd once Destiny came into the picture, I liked watching them together. They had their good moments between her storms.
If only we抎 had a connection beyond entangled finances and raising a daughter together.
Deep down, I think she craved that connection, the kind of love Hollywood serves up to the masses. She was a romantic at heart.
A romantic who found her way into a goddamned arranged marriage.
Her parents owned a major shipping company, making coffee cheaper to import to North America.
My parents never asked me what I loved about her梠r even if we needed more time together before I agreed to a life with her.
For our families, it was business.
My folks were too excited about the soaring increase to their net worth and status, plus the prospect of new investments. Hers were no better.
At the engagement party, her father never referred to me as 搒on.?He called me a coffee prince.
To him, she was a bargaining chip, an expendable thing to secure more clout and money and connections.
Is that what ended her life? Being locked into this dreary disappointment she could never walk away from? Being stuck with me?
My gut churns, and I wonder for the ten thousandth time if I抦 the reason why she抯 gone.
Of course, the official reports said otherwise.
The local police chief settled on a tragic accident within days and never looked back. The detectives always frowned on the suicide theory, though it was possible.
My fist slaps the ground next to me so hard it vibrates up my arm.
Fuck it.
Waiting around for the first heavy beads of rain to slap my neck isn抰 doing me any favors.
The rain thickens, but I抦 back inside the house before it starts pouring.
With everyone in their rooms or out sightseeing, it抯 eerily quiet.
I gaze around the family room, full of priceless antiques and old mementos Aster bought on this trip or that over a decade ago.
I never asked the staff to change anything during our absence.
Maybe that抯 the problem.
Everything抯 left in place like a depressing time capsule. Aster抯 presence is still alive, frozen in her bygone style.
My heart sinks and I huff out a disgusted snort.
Even in paradise with unlimited money, I couldn抰 keep her happy.
Our marriage was atrociously shallow.
We looked good together. We made people jealous.
I brought a beautiful woman who was a billionaire in her own right to every business function I had, and we had a passable physical connection.
It just never went further.
It was never love.
It was never what she wanted梐nd then her life ended.
As horribly as it is, I抣l always be grateful for one thing.
Destiny.
Whenever anyone asks梬hich they didn抰 until Troy stuck his nose in things梥he抯 also my excuse. I抳e never dated again because it would be hard on my daughter.
No matter how she抎 deny it, it抯 true. Imagine seeing your mother抯 body washed up on the beach and then watching your father start a new life.
I could never protect my family and keep it whole.
I couldn抰 give Aster the life she craved.
Who the fuck knows if I could ever make any woman truly happy.
Especially women who are already intimately involved in my work life and up in my face. An unworkable polar opposite, regardless of whether or not she aches for me like I do for her.
揅ole??
Katelyn抯 voice startles me. I whip around, nearly knocking a tall antique vase off a mantle as I do. I catch the bastard thing梛ust in time梐nd place it back where it belongs.
揝orry. I was just梖uck,?I stammer, thrown off my game.
She nods, offering a knowing smile.
揟his is the first time you抳e been back here, isn抰 it??
I抦 still rattled, though I抦 not sure it抯 visible to anyone but me.
I hope it isn抰.
I sit down on the couch, safely away from any priceless artifacts.
揧ou know it is,?I mutter.
揑 heard Destiny doesn抰 want to go to the beach,?she says quietly. 揃etween a teenager who loves sea creatures so much she avoids the ocean, and you staring into the void, I put two and two together. If this is hard, Mr. Lancaster...it抯 okay. Don抰 feel embarrassed.?She smiles sadly. 揑 have to let you know, I was in the hall and overheard you and Troy talking...?
I bury my face in my hands with a defeated sigh.
What the hell else can go wrong today?
揑 told him to cut the crap. He shouldn抰 be talking about employees the way he棓
揌onestly? I think he was right. Not the unprofessional guy talk, but the way he called you out.?She clears her throat. 揑 saw you coming up the hill yesterday with Eliza. You looked like you were having fun with her. That抯 good.?
揘ot good, Kate. She抯 an employee and the key to why we抮e here,?I snap. It抯 automatic.
Thankfully, she抯 had well over a decade of dealing with me.
揙h, I agree. But Seattle is full of beautiful women. It抯 been ten years and you haven抰 found anyone. You can抰 let optics scare you away from a good thing. If it抯 meant to be, then棓
揑抦 not having this conversation,?I growl, tugging at my collar.
She抯 quiet, staring, and I hate that it came out so acrid.
揥ith all due respect, I taught your daughter how to wear a tampon. I抦 not sure this is the most awkward conversation we抳e ever had.?
My eyes flick to the wood ceiling and back again as I let out a rolling sigh.
揑抦 sorry. I didn抰 know棓
揑 did.?She smiles. 揂nd if anything ever happens to Patrick, I expect you to pick up the slack with my boys.?
I nod sincerely.
揊air enough.?That sobers me up fast. 揑抦 a decent father, just a shitty husband. And Aster梞aybe she saw death as her only way out of the misery.?
Katelyn stares at me, her eyes growing wide.
I know I抦 in a mood, far past the point where I should shut my damn yap.
If only I could take it back.
揗r. Lancaster??She waits for me to look at her, and I do with another sigh. 揧ou can抰 be responsible for Aster抯 actions. What happened was an accident based on every report I ever saw. You know that, right??
揂ccident or not, our marriage was a dumpster fire. All thanks to me,?I say.
This conversation is also flaming trash. I抦 about to stalk off when she speaks again.
揗y sister抯 first husband sucked梔efinitely not like you. She divorced his butt, took his money and his kids, and moved to L.A. She works for the Mouse now, and she and the kids get season passes to Disneyland every year. She chose how she responded to her situation. I know it wasn抰 the same for you, but if the reports were wrong...then Aster made that choice.?She throws up a hand. 揘ot that I抦 saying she did! If the cops said it was an accident, I bet they抮e right.?
I turn my head. 揥ho the fuck knows. It doesn抰 matter.?
When I look again, Kate抯 staring at me.
揑s there something else??I ask over my shoulder, annoyed.
She grimaces. 揑 need to ask you a question, but I抦 not sure how without offending you.?
揂sk.?I抳e had enough drama today.
揇o you think maybe your inability to let go of this is why Destiny won抰 go to the beach??
Deafening silence.
揂re you saying Destiny can抰 move on until I do??I look at her sharply.
She swallows. 揑 don抰 know. I抦 no shrink, but I do know you抮e the most important person in her life. If you have any lingering doubts, it抯 likely she抯 picking up on them. Kids are intuitive, and Destiny is smart as a whip. She deserves to be happy.?
揑 know.?The words feel like solid lead.
揧ou deserve to be happy, too, boss.?
揑rrelevant. And I won抰 be梟ot until I know what happened that night,?I say, shocking myself.
I didn抰 realize that was even what I wanted until now.
揧ou抮e a billionaire. You抮e connected to every high and mighty moron in America,?she points out. 揝o, if you feel like you need answers for closure, go get them. This is the time and place. I guess I don抰 understand, though... The police already gave you one set of answers you didn抰 like.?