Her eyes flared as she looked down at him. “Really?”
She wasn’t willing to admit it yet, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with it anymore. “Yes, really. Why did you have me sign a new contract, Eve? You didn’t negotiate with me. You went to Ian and had him write a contract that outlined how I was supposed to behave in the coldest terms possible. As soon as our divorce was final, you shoved that contract in my face.”
And he’d taken it because he’d been so desperate to have any kind of contact with her. He’d lain down during the divorce, giving her everything she wanted, praying she would change her mind. When she’d tossed that contract in his face, he’d signed it before he’d even read it. He just couldn’t stand to lose her.
“My behavior was outlined, too.” She frowned at him, but it wasn’t an angry expression. She seemed more thoughtful than anything else.
“Why did you make me sign that contract? We could have gone on with the one we had before.” He should have done this a long time ago. Some people needed to sit in an office setting and talk out their problems with a third party, but he needed this. He needed her naked, his hands working to bring her comfort and pleasure.
“Because we were divorced. We needed to rethink how we acted.”
He tied off the design. She looked so fucking gorgeous wrapped up in his ropes. The tortoiseshell design formed a sexy pattern around her breasts, showing them off. Her whole torso was in a gorgeous pattern. If they were at Sanctum, he would spend the next thirty minutes showing her off. She was a work of art. But tonight, he simply made his plea. “Eve, be brave. Please. Don’t be logical. Don’t be kind. Tell me what I did to you. You were hurting and you needed me, and what did I do?”
He heard her sniffle and looked up. Her brown eyes were sheened with tears. “You ignored me.”
He placed his head to her breast because they had finally come to his true crime. A deep sense of peace came over him as he finally admitted what he’d done. He’d been a bastard, but he sensed forgiveness was a heartbeat away. “I ignored you. God, Eve, please forgive me.”
Alex held her, his head soft against her skin. His words were whispered against her flesh.
She’d always known why he’d done it, but she’d only just realized that she’d punished him. If it had been anyone else, she would have seen it easily. She’d told herself that she wanted that contract to protect them both, but now she could see why it had been important to her. She’d been punishing him, forcing him to see her, to deal with her in the only way he seemed willing to. She’d been like a child who would take any attention she could get. “I never just told you how I felt.”
“I want to hear it now, angel,” he said. “I need to hear it. I need you to get it all out.”
She was tied up, unable to walk out of the room, and that was what she really wanted to do because the truth was so close to the surface and she was afraid to let it out. She’d held it in for so long, terrified of what really confronting that time would mean. “You don’t want to hear it all.”
He was on his knees in front of her, his head nuzzled between her breasts. “I do. I need to. We need to. I don’t want to hear the logic. I want to know how you felt so I can ask your forgiveness. I can’t ask for it unless I know. Angel, you had to have been so scared when he kicked the door in.”
She closed her eyes. God, she didn’t want to do this. She’d told the police and her therapist the bare bones, simply reciting the story over and over again, but the real memories were still inside her. Those moments of terror were deep in her veins, and Alex was trying to pull them out. The problem was she’d held on to them so long, she wasn’t sure who she would be when she’d given them all up.
She couldn’t be who she was back then. She’d been weak and completely submissive. She’d been dependent and then she’d been so alone. And now she was strong, but she was still so very alone. Could she find a way to be herself and have Alex, too?
“Please. Be brave, Eve. Talk to me.” His hands tightened as though he wouldn’t let her go.
But he had let her go. He’d agreed to the divorce without a second glance. He’d signed the contract without a word. Could she trust him now? Did she dare to try again? “I thought we agreed to stop doing this. We agreed to move forward and let go of the people we used to be.”