“Okay.”
Kat sounded relieved, and maybe she was. Ruth flashed back to the girl Kat had once been, a respectful but stubborn kid who’d somehow had the good nature to let Ruthie tag along. Something about that goodness brought tears to Ruth’s eyes now. If it weren’t for the rape, they might have become good friends. If it weren’t for the rape, well . . .
“When are you coming in?”
Ruth thought about trekking to the department and relating the story of her attack to Sheriff Sam Featherstone. A trickle of sweat ran down her spine. She’d counseled others to come forward, but it was never easy. “Soon,” she said, bolstering up her flagging courage. “Soon.”
*
She dropped her parents off after the breakfast, parked, and followed them inside.
It was now or never.
She settled Penny in the den, telling her that mom needed some adult time with grandma. “Can I watch Nickelodeon?” Penny asked.
It was a special treat, as they did not have cable at home. “Sure.”
With Penny tucked away, Ruth returned to the kitchen, where her mother stood at the sink.
“I’m making a pot of decaf,” Bev said. “It’s a long ways from here to the fireworks tonight. I may need a nap.”
“A man was outside my house last night, threatening me.”
“What?” Bev shut off the water and turned away from the sink.
“I don’t know his identity, but I think it’s the same man who attacked me one summer years ago, back when I was in high school.”
“What are you talking about? You were never attacked.”
“I was, Mom. I was raped, but I didn’t tell anyone. I was embarrassed and afraid that you and Dad would be mad at me. That you would think it was my fault.”
Her mother’s hand flew to her chest. Hearing a noise, Ruth turned to the doorway and found her father standing there, his face void of emotion.
“Ruthie,” he warned. “What are you talking about? Now, don’t go exaggerating, like you do.”
“It was rape, Dad,” Ruth said evenly. “The night I snuck out. I’m not going to let you dismiss it and marginalize the trauma.”
“Oh, Lord help us!” Bev cried, tears in her eyes.
“The night you snuck out,” he repeated reprovingly. “Why are you telling us this today? With all your mother does for you, cooking for you and taking care of Penny, you seem to go out of your way to create problems.”
Ruth struggled to keep the fury from her voice. “I just wanted to give you fair warning because I’m going to the police, and you know how gossip flies around this town.”
“If it happened when you were in high school, why open this can of worms now?”
“Because someone came to my house and threatened me last night, and I think it was the man who attacked me. I need to tell the police the history so they can stop him before he hurts me again. Or Penny. Or anyone else.”
“Now, wait. Let’s not exaggerate,” he said. “Who was this fellow?”
“I don’t know. I hope the Sheriff’s Department can find him.”
“Can they deal with it in a discreet way?” Bev asked. “They don’t have to put your name in the papers or interview you on television, do they?”
Ruth paused in frustration. She had expected her mother to be more supportive, but instead she was concerned with keeping a clean reputation. “They won’t release my name, but people are going to figure it out. There are few secrets in a town like this.”
She turned to her husband. “It’s so unfair. People are going to be talking about us, Rob, saying we didn’t raise our daughter right.”
“Because I was raped?” Ruth asked in disbelief.
“Please.” Her father sat down heavily at the table. “Stop saying that word.”
“I know this is upsetting for all of us, but can we please talk about damage control?” Bev wiped her hands on the dishtowel, tears in her eyes. “Your father and I shouldn’t have to suffer embarrassment from something that happened ages ago. I say you just drop it, Ruth. Please, honey, let it go.”
“And do nothing about a rapist who’s still out there, watching my house? Possibly a danger to me and other women?”
“The sheriff can pursue this intruder from last night,” her father said. “We need to stay out of it.”
Bev was nodding. “Dad’s right. Leave it to the sheriff to find this man. Probably just a burglar or some drunk going home to the wrong house.”
“No need to bring up unpleasantness from the past,” Rob agreed. “If you’re struggling with it, offer it up to the Lord and get yourself some counseling, but don’t inflict your personal problems on our community.”
“That’s right; that’s the right thing to do.” Bev let out a sigh of relief. “You’re so good at managing these things, Rob.”
As her parents went on some more about how a person needed to keep their problems to themselves, Ruth felt as if she were watching a scene in a farce. Their focus was on saving face, without a trace of concern for the terror and trauma Ruth had endured.
They don’t care about me. They’re making this all about them.
It hurt to realize the level of her parents’ selfishness, but then again she wasn’t surprised. They had never truly been her advocates. They hadn’t noticed when the bottom dropped out of her world fifteen years ago, and they weren’t looking out for her now.
I’m on my own.
The realization was liberating in some ways. No longer would she be tethered to getting her parents’ approval for her life choices.
“Well, that just wiped me out.” Bev pressed her fingertips to her temples. “The stress has gone straight to my head. I’m going to take a nap.” She shuffled out of the kitchen, leaving the coffee unmade.
“I hope you’ve learned something here,” Rob said. “You can’t spring bad news on your mother like that. She’s a strong woman, but she’s worked hard to maintain a pristine reputation in this town. We both need people to think the best of us.”
Ruth replaced the plastic lid on the coffee can and left the pot of water. Her father could make his own if he wanted coffee. “It must be a terrible thing, to care so much about what other people think,” she said calmly. “I’ve learned to let that go, since you have no control over it.”
She turned to her father, unafraid of the stern set of his jaw. “I’ve also learned that people of character judge you based on your actions, not your looks or social reputation.”
He drew in a sharp breath. “It must be nice to be so free and breezy. Did you get that from California?”
“No, Dad. I got it from extensive therapy. You and Mom might want to try it sometime.” She went to the door and paused. “I’m going to the police. Sorry to inconvenience you, but it’s the right thing to do.”
With one last look at the sour, uncompromising man he had become, she went off to retrieve her daughter.